My introduction

Hi everyone, I would like to take this time to introduce myself and tell everyone why I am here.

First off I would like to say that as a child my family would go to church, not every Sunday, but we did go alot. We also went to church every Christmas eve. I also attended Sunday school as a child. When I was a child for me it was hard to learn all about Jesus. I guess you can say my mind and heart was on other things.

As years went on my dad became sick and everything that we did in life just stopped. He passed away in September of 1985. I was very hurt when he left me but I was not mad at anyone for it and even though he was gone from my sight it felt like he was still there. Every since this as I was growing older I lived my life my way and not the way of God. I have always and will always belive in God, Jesus. I never did crime or get into drugs and I thank god for that because I have seen my best friend go down that path in life.

As far as I remember I never Questioned God for things that happen in my life or for a fact I never blame him for anything. I just kind of lost my faith or atleast never really payed attention to it. I took life as it came. The good times and the hardships.

When I was 19 I gave birth to a daughter. She was born with medical problems and passed away when she was only 5 days old again I was hurt but never questioned or blame god for it. I knew back from my dad and my daughters death that God had a reason. Sure I admit that I wounder what those reasons are but never ask for the reason. Now I have have 3 boys to love.

Even though out my years I have never tried to miss a Christmas sermon and once in a blue moon, sought of speak, I attend church on Sunday, that all changed this year. Somthing happen with my family to where we may be losing the place where I live. ( I am in the court system, about this matter) This news came about in the end of May and ever since then I have been a total wreck and I really felt that I needed to get my life back on track or should I say switch to a new track in life. Ever since this news about my place of living I felt the urge to go seek God once again. I am now going to church every Sunday and going to bible study everyother Wednesday, because of work. I went out and bought a bible cause I could not find my old one and for the first time in my life I want to read the bible from cover to cover. As I am reading the bible questions started to come into my mind and I wanted to find out more about God. As I was searching for the answeres of some things I came across to this site. While I was looking at the forums I seen alot of question that I and others shared and I started to feel more at ease because I was not alone. I also feel by reading the bible and going to church is still not enough. I need more and I want to know more.

Since I am back into church and feel really good by going I started to open up my eyes more around me. I am trying to teach my kids about God but it is hard when you fully do not understand yourself. I am trying to get them into sunday school but being the person I am I can not force my children to go.

Even tho I am going thru some hard times in my life (not just my housing but other things to) I Pray to God for help and lately I have been having "weird" dreams once in awhile that I would say it would last for about a minute then I wake up. I am woundering and maybe even asking is this a sign from God letting me know that he is around? Not to mention some people that came into my life to help me out with everything that is going on, so I do not do it alone, feel like they are my angels sent from above.

If you would like to ask question with anything I say above feel free to ask.