My Experience with the Dentist

I want to write this down before I pass out. My recollection of my oral surgery. Warning: Could get graphic.

My wife, Pam, got me to the doctor by 10:00 on Tuesday, February 16. After waiting around for about 30 minutes (watched a movie on my iPod to take my mind off what was about to happen t)he nurse came out, held the door open and said, "Mr. McKee?" I asked her if I could finish my movie first - would take about 6 hours. She was NOT amused. She reminded me of Nurse Cratchett.

I was directed down to the end of the hall (reminded me of "The Green Mile"). A very long walk indeed. Nurse Cratchett followed close behind stopping my escape if that was my plan. What would Steve McQueen have done? Another nurse was waiting for me and even asked if the walk was like "The Green Mile." Spooky.

When I entered the room the first thing I saw (besides the chair "THE CHAIR") was a small tray with about 5 or 6 syringes on it. Each one looked like it had a different colored liquid in it. I said, "Whoa, are those all for me?" The nurse just smiled and instructed me to sit down. I didn't argue with Nurse Cratchett.

She handed me a paper hair net and told me to put it on. She didn't help. After I lied down she put a paper sheet over me and asked if I had any questions. I said, "Not really." I should have said, "What questions would you ask if you were sitting in my place?" But I didn't think of that at the time. She did tell me which teeth they were going to extract and put a piece of paper on my lap. I looked at it. Yep, they had the correct teeth marked. She asked me who was going to drive me home, her phone number, etc. I told her my wife was in the waiting room. I expected her to ask me if she was the next of kin... Well, you can never be too sure. Long walk, syringes, chair... I watch too many movies. What, no priest? No last rites?

I made the mistake of telling Nurse Cratchett that the reason I was late was because I had gone to Ihop for breakfast. I wasn't supposed to eat for 6 hours before the surgery. She just smiled and said, "I hope you enjoyed it." My last meal came to mind.

Actually, I did get up at 3 a.m. that morning, had two cups of coffee and a breakfast bar and then went back to sleep. You have to know how to beat the system. I beat the 6 hour waiting period by 15 minutes.

The second nurse (the good nurse, that happy nurse) put the blood pressure band on my left arm, a clamp with some gooy stuff on it on my left arm and then one on my right arm. Then she applied the clamp to my finger. I got the impression they were taking this very seriously.

The dentist came in and sat down beside me. I said a friend of mine had told me good things about him and he came highly recommended. Good thing since I felt pretty good that I wasn't going anywhere. Not with Nurse Cratchett guarding the door.

Above my head in front of the big light was a baggie with some sort of liquid in it. I thought it contained saline solution.

The doctor took my right arm in one hand and a can of some sort in the other hand and said, "This will be a little cold." It was. Then he said, "This will be the worst part of the procedure." Uh huh...

Nurse Cratchett handed him the end of the tubing that ran from the baggie over my head and inserted it in my arm and said, "Just a little prick."

"OUCH!" Just kidding, it wasn't too bad.

I talked briefly about my friend and began to feel cold in my chest. I tasted the helium and got very happy and animated just briefly. Maybe that is why it is called "Laughing Gas."

Oh, I did remind Nurse Cratchett that I wanted to keep the metal cap that had been applied to one of the soon-to-be extracted molars by my regular dentist. She assured me that could be arranged.

That's all I remembered.

When I woke up my bottom lip, gum, and jaw were competely numb! The dentist told me everything went just fine. There was some gauze where my teeth used to be to stop the bleeding. YEECH! Told you this might get graphic. I could never be a vampire. Blood tastes bad.

Soon I was wheeled in a wheel chair out to meet Pam in the waiting room. I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. The dentist gave me prescriptions for pain medicine (Darvocet-N), antibiotics and nausea meds.

Pam took me home and went to get my medicine. By the time she came home the numbness had worn off and I was in serious pain. After taking 2 pills and waiting for about 15 minutes relief relief finally came.

The rest of the day was spent in the lounge with the cat in my lap. She is very relaxing. Waited for 4 hours and took more pain medicine. Ate a little bit but was not in the mood for Popeye's fried chicken. They have a .99 special every Tuesday.

I tried to eat some vanilla ice cream. Big mistake. I remembered that the dentist told me not to drink any milk the first day. The cold from the ice cream nearly sent me over the edge. Made an ice cap and put it on my cheeks. That helped. For some reason the right jaw hurt worse than the left.

The dentist did call and asked how I felt. I told him I was fine but wondered why the pain was worse on my right side. He hesitated just briefly (never a good sign) and said that one took a little longer to come out. I appreciated his call even though I am pretty sure I rambled on way too long. Blame it on the Darvocet. Good stuff, that's for sure.

Went to bed after 10 so I could take more pain meds and one more antibiotic. Had a pretty restful night even though I did wake up at 3:30. My mouth didn't hurt so I didn't take anymore pain medicine.

Got up too fast and felt dizzy. Went back (fell back more like it) to bed and didn't get up.

So there you have it. Now I have to quit because I am getting very dizzy.

Oh, nurse Cratchett was very nice. Just a little too professional. Needed to lighten up is all. But she knew what she was doing and that was all that mattered.