Modesty: A Woman's Perspective

Dear Sisters In Christ,

My heart breaks for you as I write this. Most of you have been raised in the church or at least with Christian influences. Yet, most of you either don’t understand or haven’t been taught God’s heart on the issue of modest. In today’s society, it’s nothing to see women scantily dressed as they go to the mall or the grocery store. While it shows a disrespect for themselves and those about them, it’s to be expected from someone who is spiritually lost. Unfortunately, it’s not only the lost who engage in this “freedom.” It also isn’t relegated to this realm. Many times, I’ve walked into our churches and small group gatherings and seen skin everywhere.

We claim Christian liberty when it comes to dressing to please ourselves. But, just as there is no “Christian liberty” to sin in other ways, there is none in this issue either. Life is about God. Our clothes are about Him, also. When we dress in such a way as to attract attention to our bodies, we are setting ourselves above His Word. It doesn’t matter what you want. It doesn’t matter how cute an outfit is or how pretty you feel wearing it. It matters what God’s Word says and it clearly says that we are to dress “in modest apparel” (I Timothy 2: 9). If we don’t care about what God wants, then we won’t care about this, either. However, if we truly love God (love demands obedience), we will want to please Him.

Modesty begins in the heart. A modest woman will exhibit qualities such as gentleness and humility (Colossians 3: 12). She will not strive to be “front and center” and gather attention for herself. Her life, like everything about her, will point to God. A heart that truly loves God would have it no other way.

Ladies, you need to remember that men are vision driven. I’ve heard young ladies say that if a guy lusted after them, it was his problem and his alone. They suggested that he should simply avert his eyes. That’s not what God’s Word teaches us, however. Yes, men have to take responsibility for their actions and if they give into lust, God holds them accountable. However, if you have dressed in such a way as to cause them to lust in the first place, God holds you accountable, also. Luke 17: 1, 2 says, “Then he said unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than he should offend one of these little ones.” God takes our responsibilities as His children seriously. So should we. As Christian women, we have got to realize what our immodesty does to guys: we can cause our brothers in Christ to stumble and, by marring our witness, we blaspheme God’s holy name.

I’ve seen my 20 year old son have to advert his eyes going into church! This young man wants to be pure. He has to be constantly on-guard in God’s house. This ought not to be, ladies. I’ve heard preachers get up and beg the ladies of the congregation to dress decently lest they cause someone to stumble. I applaud them for speaking out for most preachers don’t have the moral courage required to do so. You have a responsibility to these men, ladies. They are your brothers in Christ. God will not take it lightly if you cause them to stumble and sin. There are many, many men out there like my son who don’t want to stumble. Help them.

So, am I saying that the only acceptable dress is a flour sack? Hardly. Just that we need to be aware of how we appear. We do not belong to ourselves, we belong to God and it is Him that we must please. I Corinthians 6: 20 says, “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” Our clothes should glorify our Creator and Savior. They should frame our faces and not our bodies. Our clothing should show that we are women of God rather than suggest that we are on display for men to enjoy. It’s good to dress fashionably and to look in nice in what you wear. It’s just not okay to shout to the world, “Look at me!” through what we wear.

Immodesty is a sin. If we understood the vileness of sin, we would draw back in abhorrence from it. The problem is, we no longer understand sin. Sin is anything that is against God’s holiness. God cannot look upon sin. He hates it. When you willingly sin, God is against you. James 1: 14, 15, “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” Romans 6: 23 states that, “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”. Our sin is so serious that it took the death of God’s Only Son to pay for it and yet we play at it. We gloss over sins today in the name of personal freedom, Christian liberty and grace. As the apostle Paul said in Romans 6: 1, 2, “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?”

Please pay attention, ladies. Men are looking at you and they are undressing you with their eyes. Think about how you are dressing. Look in a mirror before you leave home and check yourself:

Does your blouse/dress “fall away” when you bend over? Can you see down it? If you can see it in a mirror, we can see it, too. Is your blouse/dress low-cut? Does it show cleavage? If so, men are looking…and thinking. I don’t like seeing your breasts. I certainly don’t want my sons to see them.


Is your dress sheer or see-through? Can others see your body through them when you stand in the light? You might as well have nothing on because that is what men are going to think.


Is your dress/skirt short? Does it show a lot of leg? Does it have a slit cut way up to here? When you bend over, does it protect your privacy? When you walk, is it revealing? When you sit down, does it rise up? Men like legs, ladies. They think about them…and about other things because of them.


Are you wearing short-shorts? Does it show part of your hip when you bend over? Do you have any idea what thoughts this puts in guys minds?


Are your clothes tight? Can men see your form? Again, you might as well undress cause guys will do that to you with their eyes.


Is your sleeveless blouse/dress loose around your armhole? Does it leave enough room for others to see inside of it? If so, guess what you are showing?


Does your underwear show over the top of your low-rise jeans? Underwear is meant to cover you, not to be seen. When guys see it, they think about what’s under it.


Does your bra or slip show? It’s ugly and distasteful not to mention that men fixate on it.


Are you wearing spaghetti straps or halter tops? Are men caressing your shoulders or back with their eyes? What thoughts are they having?


Swimsuits…in most of them, you might as well walk around naked. If you must swim, buy a modest swimsuit. They are out there and, if you do an internet search, they aren’t that hard to find.

I know this sounds harsh, ladies, but someone has got to say it. I speak out because I love you. I care for your souls. I care what you are doing to the holy name of God. I care that men can’t come to worship without fearing that their sisters in Christ will dress in such a way that they have to avert their eyes. I care that the witness that you are giving to the lost says, “My God doesn’t have any standards. Just come to Him and you can do what you want.” God has standards so high that, were it not for the blood of Christ and the grace of God none of us would make it in. Don’t abuse Him. Don’t prostitute yourselves with the world. Don’t sin. Men are feasting on you with their eyes. They are sinning because of you. You are partakers in their sin because you are setting them up for it. God will hold you responsible. If you dress in such a way that men will lust after you–it is your fault and your problem when they lust. If your clothes show off your belly, your hips, your breasts (by clinging to them or displaying them), it doesn’t shout, “I’m a Christian. I’m a godly woman.” It shouts, “I’m on display. Look at me! Enjoy what you see!”

Please think about this: what kind of example do you want to be? If you truly want the world and the church to know that you are a woman of God then don’t dress like a harlot. Think about your daughters. What kind of an example are you being to them? And, what are guys–young and old–thinking about them based on the clothes that they wear? Are your girls going to grow up and follow in your footsteps? Will you stand idly by and watch while good Christian men are tempted to stumble because of them? Will you do nothing while men undress your daughters with their eyes?

It’s not too late to change. I beg you, go through your closet and drawers. Get rid of anything that is sheer, tight, revealing…God will bless you for your obedience. Remember, in Luke 6: 46, Jesus said, “And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?” In John 14: 15 Jesus says, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Modesty has fallen out of style because the church has married the world. Being modest in our lives and in our clothes is a commandment. Dare we tell God that we love Him if we aren’t willing to obey Him in this? We are God’s people, the bride of Christ. We are meant to be holy–that is, set apart. Let’s live like it.

It is my prayer that many will listen…and will obey God in this over-looked but immensely important area. Please, don’t allow Satan to hold you up to God and say, “Look, she doesn’t love you enough to obey you.”

A sister in Christ who also once stumbled in this area,
in Christ’s love,

Anna