Men are nicer

Men are nicer, but … (at least with regard to one another) Titus 2.1-8

Poised to move on to Titus chapter Three, I first lived today, and then decided to tarry a bit.  It was a great day, a full day . . . a day that led me to ponder and then write.  After spending half my day in a meeting of all women and listening to them converse, and the latter half with corporate men, I concluded that regarding the sexes, men are nicer, but women are more patient.  And here’s the point--when we believe correctly about Jesus, it should convert to strong character, no matter our genders! In this chapter, Paul directs a few comments specifically to men, then women, and finally the young.

Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely … be filled with love and patience.  ~‘Don’t think you are the older man?  Well, you’re older to someone!  Paul highlights six things for men to consider about themselves, affords an opportunity to reflect:  ~how am I doing in the area of self control?  Do I conduct my life with wisdom, so that I am worthy of respect?  Do I know what and why I believe in Christ?  And finally, can I honestly say that my life is characterized by love and patience?

Working closely with men, women and teen-aged young people, I have some thoughts that go with Paul’s instruction.  First, Gentlemen, from my heart to yours, compared to the female population, you [generally] seem to be more inclusive and far less judgmental of one another; you tend to have shorter memories when you have been slighted—starting when you are little boys.   In many ways, you are the kinder, gentler sex, despite popular beliefs.  Staying humble—having a healthy view of yourself                                                                                                 in relation to God and others— is critical if you are to be the older man with whom folks, (including your grown children), choose to spend their time.  And one thing I know—staying the course, being bold in your faith, and an active part of a strong band of brothers, will keep you on track.  How ya doing?

Patience is a byproduct of humility, by the way.  It seems that as men age, Paul must have known that maintaining a patient attitude is challenging.  Indeed at midlife, when caring for aging parents and raising sometimes-neurotic teens and early twenty-something’s, while managing work life, and trying to stay in shape, it stretches every fiber … patience must be guarded. 

And women, beautiful as you are, I should like to say, ‘ease up, Sister!’  While you might not struggle so much with patience, you, my dears, must remember to be kind to one another, and model kindness for your daughters as well.  Do not take everything so personal; not everything is about you, you know. 

Be creative in how you love your husband—in the way he will get it, not just how you want to give it.  Be a student of him.  And revise your thinking about homemaking—no longer are we in a decade that narrowly defines the role of women—like the 50s, 60s, 70s and even 80s.  Women are freer now than at any other time in our history, but it is we women who seem to denigrate other women’s choices . . . at least these are the conversations I have observed lately!  What ‘s up with that?

To summarize, Paul really had it right-- teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. Women must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. To quote Thumper, ‘if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say nothing at all!’  Instead teach others what is good, train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.  Remember life in Paul’s day afforded women no freedoms—so being submissive meant that they at least had a voice—they were at least counted!

‘Titus’, Paul admonished,  “encourage the young men to live wisely.”  ‘Do waste time by sowing to the wind!  As for you, Titus, remember that your actions do not go unobserved.   “And you yourself must be an example to [young people] by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized.”

a lot to think about . . .

Christine