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Learning to Forgive Yourself - Part II

Learning to Forgive Yourself – Part II

April 27, 2007

I believe that one of the hardest things for Christians to do is learn to forgive themselves. We have been taught the laws and precepts of God most of our lives. The expectation from many churches and people is a life without flaw. This expectation weighs upon us and causes us to experience a guilt that we were not meant to experience. The guilt I am referring to is different from the conviction of the Holy Spirit (John 16:8-11). The guilt that is laid upon us by the church relates to our need to adhere to the law, rather than live in and by the grace of God. The results of this guilt are often shame that leads the person to live a double life hoping that no one will discover their sin, especially in the church. This is so backwards. The church is the hospital that one, especially a believer, should seek the help to overcome sin, not expecting to be judged by the church because of it.

I believe that the inability to forgive self leads to an inability to forgive others when they sin. The rules we apply to self will be applied to others. Often people will overlook the sin of others, but not truly forgive them. The sin is buried or camouflaged. It is when we learn to walk in forgiveness that we too can truly forgive others. The Bible says the following for a reason, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3:13). It starts with you.

Let’s look at some practical aspects relating to forgiving one’s self.

I. Know that God has forgiven you.

For those who have come to know Jesus as Savior there is only forgiveness and love. Let’s focus on the forgiveness first and then explain the power of the love.

God’s forgiveness offered through the cross of Jesus is complete. The first sin you ever committed is covered. The last sin you committed is covered. The last sin you will ever commit is covered. We do not return to the cross year after year, or sin after sin to find forgiveness (Heb. 10:1-8). The forgiveness is so complete that we become children of God. John 1:12-13 says, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.” Becoming a child is a permanent event and irrevocable as we looked at last Wednesday.

The Bible illustrates for us how complete our forgiveness is. Our sins have been removed as far as the east is from the west (Ps. 103:12). Note that this was written when man still assumed that the earth was flat. God chose East and West, because, unlike north and south, these two directions never meet. If you start heading east, no matter how many times you circle the globe you will still be going east. The same is true of heading west. If you head north, you will eventually peak over the top and start heading south. Therefore, the distance of our sin is incalculable. The Bible also says He has tossed our sins into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19). The Bible further says He will remember our sins no more (Heb. 10:17).

God’s love brings discipline, not condemnation. This discipline is designed for our good, not our harm. God wishes to direct our path in this life so that we may live fruitful lives that bring honor and glory to Him.

The Bible says the following in Hebrews 12:4-11, “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Does this mean we never have to ask for forgiveness again? We never go to the cross again to be saved allover again. That is impossible, even if we could lose our salvation because the Bible says we would be crucifying Jesus all over again (Heb. 6:4-6). The question is not about salvation, but rather usability. Let me explain this using a Bible text.

In John 13 we find Jesus and the disciples in the upper room partaking of the Passover meal. Jesus takes off His outer garment and begins to wash the disciples feet, that is until He comes to Peter. Peter rejects the idea. Jesus responds by stating, “A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet, his whole body is clean. And you are clean” (John 13:10). In Jesus’ time, people would take a bath in the local bathhouse, usually near the center of town. They would put their clothes and sandals on and walk home. Upon arriving at home, they would still be clean, that is except for their feet, because they had traveled the on the dirty streets. They would proceed to wash their feet at home and then be fully clean again. Likewise, we have been washed in the blood of the Lamb and we have been made clean. We still live in this filthy world and travel the streets thereof. We need from time to time the cleansing of our feet to wipe away the contamination of this world. We do not need a completely new bath, just the removal of the road dust from our travels.

This leads is to our second point today.

II. How can I forgive myself?

It starts with knowing that God has fully forgiven you. You have been bathed in the blood of the Lamb. Then we must realize that sin cannot separate the child of God from the love of God (Rom. 8:35-39). We do need to be cleansed of the tarnish (sin) so that we can be usable for the glory of God. We want people to see Jesus living in and through us. Sin blocks the people from seeing Jesus in us. We need to ask for forgiveness so that we may be restored to Him so that He may freely work through us. A returning home if you will. We can have confidence regarding this forgiveness as stated in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” God says He forgives us, do we believe Him? We need no more than the assurance of God.

There is another hindrance to our experiencing the freedom of forgiving ourselves. It is the combination of the judging world and the accusing enemy, Satan. We need to learn from Jesus regarding this. We need to employ the Word of God as our defense. Jesus when tempted by Satan in the wilderness quoted Scripture. Jesus when accused by the Pharisees and other leaders addressed them by using Scripture. He even told them at one point they are in error because of their lack of knowledge regarding the Scriptures (Mat. 22:29).

What are some of the Scriptures we can use to defend our forgiveness in Christ? We can start with the fact that our sins have been removed as far as the east is from the west. We also know that our sins have been tossed into the depths of the sea. God says He has forgotten our sins and will remember them no more. This is God’s verdict. If He says I am forgiven I am forgiven. No man, church or Satan can take that forgiveness from me. I only lose the battle when I believe the lie of the enemy and the misguided.

Does this mean I have a license to sin (I have to add this because everyone always points to this ridiculous statement). No. It means I have been forgiven and that I will not experience condemnation or eternal punishment because of it. I can become unusable here and now as well as lose my blessings and rewards in heaven, but in Jesus, I am forgiven and removed from condemnation and brought into eternal peace with God the Father.

The battle is in the mind. The war was won on the cross. Whether you embrace the grace of God or allow the enemy to impose the law on you is up to you. However, the Bible says the following, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). I close with the chorus words from the song “He’s Alive”:

He's alive! Yes, He's alive!

Yes He's alive and I'm forgiven

Heaven's gates are open wide

He's alive! Yes, He's alive!

Oh He's alive and I'm forgiven

Heaven's gates are open wide

He's alive! He's Alive!

Hallelujah He's alive!

He's alive and I'm forgiven

Heaven's gates are open wide

He's alive! He's alive! He's alive!

I believe it!