Learning to Forgive Yourself - Part I

Learning to Forgive Yourself – Part I

April 25, 2007

We will start a two part series today on “Learning to Forgive Yourself.” Today we will look at God’s forgiveness and our assurance of salvation. Friday we will look at the steps to overcoming guilt and experiencing true forgiveness.

God’s forgiveness and our assurance of salvation:

Our text comes from the story Jesus told known as “The Prodigal Son” found in Luke 15. The father in the story is a wealthy man with two sons. One son works hard and does all that his father asks of him. The other son is rebellious and wishes to experience the world. He goes to his father and asks for his portion of the inheritance so that he can go and live his life the way he wants. The father grants his request and the son leaves. For a period, the son enjoys this new lifestyle of wild living, that is until the wealth had been squandered. His newfound friends all leave him and he is left alone and hungry. He goes to work for a pig farmer and reasons to himself that it would be better to be the servant of his father than of this man. He returns home asking for forgiveness. What he finds upon returning is that his father has been longing for the day of his return. His father still loves him and his father has never disowned him. Upon his return, his father throws a large feast in his honor. The other son becomes angry over this celebration, but we will not go into that today.

What does this story teach us? It reveals the heart and mindset of our Father in heaven. Let’s look at some of the highlights.

1. The son is always his son.

The prodigal son’s actions did not cause the father to disown him. Even though his action of asking for the inheritance in advance would have been a slap in his father’s face. Even though his leaving is a type of rejection the father still loved his son and cared for him.

Our Father in heaven gives us many things that, truth be known, we miss use. He loves us anyway. Often, people walk away and choose a rebellious lifestyle and in doing so reject Him. One example today is those who choose to live in an unmarried relationship. They reject God and His Word, yet many will still expect God to bless them and their relationship. God’s blessing may be removed, but He still loves them anyway. His heart may be breaking over their rebellion, but He still loves them anyway. God does not ignore the action or condone sin. In the era of grace, for those who have accepted Jesus, sin is covered by the blood of Christ. They do not lose their sonship, but rather the blessings in this life that are associated with it.

2. The father gives him the inheritance in advance.

There are two ways of looking at this one. There are blessings in the here and now and the blessing of our salvation and all it entails. The son will always be a child of the father. He has inherited his family name. He also has an earthly inheritance that is his by right according to the law. He asks for it early and the father gave it to him.

Once we experience salvation, we take the family name of God. Our inheritance cannot be lost because it is not a thing to keep or lose. It is a position in the family of God. I have one extremely rebellious child, now an adult. I have never condoned her actions or agreed with her choices when those actions or choices were sin. There are times when she lived with me that I had to ask her to leave because of her lifestyle. Even through the trying times, I loved her anyway, always. That will never change. She will never stop being my daughter. In fact, I would give my life for her today. The Father gives us many things as gifts in this life that we waste. When we choose to live in sin, the blessings in this life run out. He is under no obligation to continue blessing us when we reject Him. He is always willing to restore us to His blessings when we return to Him. I have had to learn to stop helping my children get out of bad situations that they got into to by making bad choices. That is, until they return looking to get their life right. That is how our Father in heaven works. He allows us to have free wills.

3. The father allows the son to have freewill.

The father does not try to stop the son. I am sure that he counseled him and sought to keep him from making this mistake, but he let him go. Love is not controlling, but caring.

Our Father in heaven does not stop us from making bad decisions. He does not stop us from sinning. He also does not go with us as our covering when we choose to walk away from His will and way according to His Word. If we wish to live like the world, He allows it. He is never pleased by it. He will not condone or bless it. He allows it because He knows that we will return eventually, freely. He wants us to love Him and live for Him freely. If we did not have freewill, our love could not be true love towards Him.

I have lived for a time in my life in the pigpen of my own making. God let me go, but he never stopped loving me. In fact, upon my return He chose to call me into the ministry to my surprise.

4. The father does not chase after the son and at the same time, he never stops caring.

The father does not go after his son wondering if he is OK. He lets time do its work. How often we mess up the work going on in a person by bailing them out, instead of letting them be humbled by their own choice. It is not easy being a parent.

Our Father knows where we are at all times. He knows what is happening in our lives. He also lets us experience the result of our choice. You reap what you sow. Even though he allows this He is always ready to come to our aid when we call out to Him.

Now, I know, some of you will say that you have called out to God and He did not show up in your time of need. I will venture a guess here at the risk of making you mad. You probably were seeking God to get you out of the fire, but were probably not really sorry for the events that got you into the fire, meaning that if pulled from the fire at that moment you would not have learned anything and probably would have followed a similar path in the future. I know of unmarried people that seek God to help them save a relationship that is going bad. They get angry with God when He appears to be silent. I ask one simple question. “Are you having sex?” Usually the answer is yes. They want God to bless their sin and blame Him when He does not. If they will follow His path, He will work on their behalf. The relationship may still fall apart. They may not be compatible. Trust God to know what is best.

5. The father had already forgiven the son before he ever asked for it.

The father forgave his son long before the son ever asked. Why? It is the father’s right. This is not some stranger, but his own flesh and blood. He wanted his son back and was ready to receive him when he was ready to return home. He did not give a long speech, but rather threw a celebration. The greatest thing the father did was put the ring on his finger. The ring represented to everyone that this is my son.

The Father in heaven has forgiven us through the work of Jesus, once for always. Therefore, there is no condemnation for those of us who are found in Jesus (Rom. 8:1). There may be no blessing for those living in rebellion, at least until they return. The Father’s love for us is eternal and beyond measure. No, we do not have a license to sin, but we do have a covering when we do. We are not cast out of the family, but neither does He condone sin.

The story does not say this, but I believe that we can be assured that the wayward son’s room was just as he left it awaiting his return.

Conclusion:

What I want us to take from this today is that God’s love is eternal and complete. When we become a child of God, it is forever. I respect the opinion of those who believe that our salvation can be lost. I respectfully disagree. I was not saved by works anymore than keeping my salvation depends on works. We are saved by grace and our salvation is maintained by grace. God has forgiven us past, present and future sins. Our sins are not held against us eternally and can only hinder God working through us in the here and now.

If God has completely forgiven us, why do we struggle so much to forgive ourselves? We will address this Friday.

Lord Bless,

Rev. Leonard R. Traina

Principles for Life