Jesus,please hold Your broken child.

Not physical internal pain, it's much worse than that. It's the pain people don't see. It's the pain that is there but people don't know it...after all how could they when you don't show it. When you smile and they don't know of the struggle that is within. When you want to cry but can't because you're afraid they'll see the tears and eventually find out the problem.

I want to go home. Jesus sees and knows of this internal struggle...this battle going on inside of me.

I don't want to count on dieing...no. I just want to be in Heaven with Him. I want this pain to end. That may be one of the reasons the rapture looks so promising. Satan lead her into hell's kingdom over 20 years ago....for some reason she lost contact for like around 15 years. I unkownly brought her back....I know another person could have brought her in at a later date...it still doesn't help the pain that much more...

I want to see Jesus. I want to be held by Him...those strong muscular arms....to know I'm in His arms and there's no more pain-not now or ever again. If He could hold my small body in His arms and....to be held by Someone much bigger than me that cares...It'd be like a child being held by a parent.

Trying to hide the pain has caused my heart to harden. Yet, I know they absolutly can't find out...

My heart beats, He lets me have breath in my body. What am I except a mere human being? Oh, God help me...I'm so helpless.

I want to ball my eyes out right now yet that would be a mistake.

Jesus help...

Satan wants to kick me while I'm down.

How could anyone care about someone like me? I'm pathetic...why would anyone want to care about a wretch like me?

I'm mixed in emotions. I'm angry,I'm frustrated,bitter,confused...I'm filled with so much sorrow.

Why am I such a horrible person? Why is my faith so little...

Why do I seem so alone? I cry out for help....

It's easy to have compassion on others more so than on myself...

What do I do? If I speak of Him she'll think I'm talking about Michael the Archangel...if I say anything negative she may think I'm "persecuting God's people"....

My heart is filled with dread and fear.

Jesus please save them from Hell's flame.

I need You to hold me for my soul is beyond being sorrowful.

I can't stand to be here to watch them destroy themselves...

I want to come home. I want this pain to cease. I can't wait to see Your face.

Lord, others matter so much. As, for me? I don't seem to matter...I'm lower than a worm.

Jesus, take me into Your arms....I want to cry. You see all the sorrow and hurt.

I'm the reason for so much hurt. I'm so pathetic. If people could see this pain within they would see a much different person.

I don't want to say I hate myself...I'm very angry at myself right now though.

Why can't I just crawl in some deserted fox hole out in no man's land and cry myself to sleep?

Jesus,please hold Your broken child.