Jesus, help...please.

I know I'm not suppose to be afraid but I'm confused.

You probably know about the JW problem. Most of that has been settled when it comes to their "questions"...most.

I'm in a daze. There's some preacher shows mom likes. I don't know if I'm allowed to put the names. Problem is they're false...I don't know how to tell mom...especially with the one she's watching now. :( She may get suspecious especially since I've watched the one with her kind of often(I just found out yesterday about him...). I'm not watching it now with her. I'm in the other room online. 

It's like I'm surrounded....those three preacher shows and the JWs. I'm shakey in spirit. The Devil is good with confusion...for I'm confused right now.

Jesus hold me and help me to trust in You...be Thou my Vision...

I want to be like our brothers and sisters overseas. They are so strong for the Lord! I've been reading my VOM devotional, I'm on day 36 (it's a 365 day devotional). I want to read today's devotional before I go to bed. Wow! What they go through for the Lord. Like the little 10 year old Phillipines girl who died for Jesus...and the 12 year old boy who died on a cross for Jesus with some other people who died (I think he was the youngest though). I want faith like that! I so want courage from the Holy Spirit like that!

Problem is I'm confused. It's easier to spot and say Hinduism and Islam are false (although if I actually went through it with those instead of the JWs it'd still be super hard)...But when it comes to wolves in sheeps clothing. The JWs were difficult enough. Now preachers who say they're Christian on "Christian" channels...ugh.

Honestly, it's hard to keep track 3 false preachers and the JWs....it's like my head is spinning.

Preacher show # 1: Preaches a false gospel and works salvation.

Preacher show # 2: Doesn't believe in the Trinity...denys the Holy Spirit is God.

Preacher show #3: The most difficult one that mom was watching not too long ago. Believes a false gospel and has bad association with a certain church that denys the Trinity.

Mom may wonder why I'm saying it's a false gospel for #1 and # 3 since the JWs preach the same gospel. "the gospel of God's Kingdom that will overthrow this wicked world". And if I tell her preacher #2 and preacher # 3 (I don't know if he shares in the same belief as that one church but it's risky-he does believe Jesus is God though) denys the Trinity she may think that's good. And I don't want an argument...That could make things worse.

My mind can't hold three preachers and the JWs...I've had enough trouble with the JWs alone...I know I need to trust in Jesus. I'm just so confused right now. Am I afraid? I don't know how much fear I have. I just know I'm confused.

I've got most of the questions that deal with the JWs...I'm mainly just having trouble with three things dealing with the JWs. Ugh, I gave it to the Lord. Now that these other problems have come up the JW problem has snuck back in there. x_x

This song best describes me right now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4I7Hcht8Zk

I have trouble communicating,He understands that. So, that's one reason why I like visual aids and music so much. It helps to describe/put into words what I'm going through/what I like despite I can't as easily put it into words myself. Like in my brain I know I like things like Snoopy (especially the one in the plane),anatomy, info. about Nazi/Germany (I took the class in 1st semestar 11th grade and have been really interested since than) and some other things to name a few. But, you'll probably know what I like by seeing the anatomy stuff in my room or the purple Snoopy (he's not airplane Snoopy though) on the back of my couch. I probably won't go up to you and tell you I like Snoopy. Now if some how the conversation turned to Snoopy/Peanuts I'd probably tell you. Like I know in my mind I like something but getting that point across by telling someone verbally is more difficult. I can talk it's just starting the conversation is a very big problem. I don't as easily stop talking once I get onto a subject I'm passionate about though.

Anyway, that's why I'd prefer a plastic anatomy model like this over a text book. If I can see it I can comprehend it better. But, if I can see it and touch it, feeling the tesxture, I can understand it better than reading a paragraph in a text book. That's why I liked Mrs. H.'s 2nd semestar anatomy better than Mr. C.'s 1st semestar anatomy in 12th grade. We did things more hand on in her class. Sure in his class we did bones (don't worry plastic ones not real ones) hands on but we did so many notes (although Mrs. H did as well but not as many). I can physically talk. I just have trouble with communcating with other people about alot of things. I have alot of trouble putting things into the right words.What was really cool in her class was one time we got to listen to the sounds of the other person's stomach after they had something to drink/eat. We listened with a stethascope. I listened to my partner's stomach...no one listened to mine though. :( It was a very small class which was really nice! it was a bad time though. I all ready had to go to the restroom. Mrs. H was really-I mean REALLY- strict on the restroom. She would tell those who asked they could go but they're on their own for she wasn't going to give a pass. That got me really scared to ask. Anyways, I didn't want to drink water while I already had to use the restroom. For if I didn't have enough time to quickly go I'd have to go even more and after 8th period was time to go on the bus. So, what would have been a neat experience was kind of ruined by fear. Jesus got me through it though.

Pray she finds Jesus. I don't know if she knows Him. She mentioned something about the cavemen and the appendix and something about evolution. She said we'd get to that but we never did(unless I was sick that day and I didn't miss school too often-the school was strict on missing and the homework would have been x_x).  

I'd rather learn about anatomy at home anyways. I understand it better when I can take my time.

Am I missing anything I need to say? Who knows. :shrugs. I've got to go to bed soon. Thanks for listening.