Is there something wrong with me?

I can't seem to relate with the avrage church goer.

They sit in pews tucked in like sardenes, that was on Joyce Meyer. Touching people shoulder to shoulder for like an hour...that's just not my thing.

It wasn't that bad in my old church though. My church was very very-extreamly small-compared to that.

By the way how is it possible to sit for like atleast an hour listening to someone speak? Don't they get cramped legs and have to use the restroom? God has blessed them with a lot of endurance that's for sure!

If I'm going to do something for Jesus I need to be active not just sit in a pew listening to someone speak. I'm not that good at listening and just sitting. I need a visual aid to help me understand. As a Christian I need to do something for the Kingdom. No offence I hope to anyone (if so forgive me) but it seems better, atleast for me everyone is different, to do something active for Jesus. Besides, being around so many people sitting down...add the talking. Combine both and anxiety levels rise and confusion and frustration surround me. It'd be better if there was a church with a small group like I was in in my old church. That was a youth group though and I'm too old for that.

Personally, I'd rather go with brothers and sisters in Christ and help the mentally disabled, like those with down syndrome, than stay in a church. Life is only so long. And, atleast for me, it seems easier  to invest my time for the sake of the Kingdom, doing something active than sitting in a pew.

Alot of people pray on their knees. Don't get me wrong, I love praying on my knees. There's such a peace in it. It's just difficult to do it for long periods of time. I have bad corculation in my legs and within a minute my legs will hurt. I may end up rushing in prayer not knowing what to say.

It's much easier just to talk to Him though! That way there seems like there's no end to it! Besides, I'm not good at saying things to Him though in prayer. My words don't sound like that of an adult. It sounds like that of a child. There's times, quite often, I say/think very short sentences. Like "Jesus help,please help!" Sometimes I use my body language instead. Like flapping my arms or jumping up and down. He understands. That's one of the ways I communicate with Him.

Is there anyone else like that? Is it just me or can anyone relate?