Is it possible for one's spirit to be in a depression?

I'm wondering if I'm spirtually depressed or if this situation has caused be to be phyiscally depressed. Ether way my heart is filled with sorrow. It hurts to know there's people who are controlled and will refuse to listen because they're slaves to men.

Fear is paralyzing, worry makes it worse. Knowing talking to people around will only make things worse. Not knowing what to say to Jesus. It's bad enough not being good verbally but when life has the mind paralyzed as well.

I like dark places, storms and small spaces. If I'm compressed (is that thr right word ?) I find comfort. It's a sence of comfort that's hard to explain. It would be God and me, in a dark room, in a small place. The problem/s could be taken off my mind a little bit easier.

I try to escape, going into my own "world". Wheather it's "visiting" how life used to be when I was really little, especially my 2nd year of school (it was kape/pre-kape I get them mixed up). In my first class (kape/pre-kape) I had a tumbling doll wearing pink. I had her for show in tell. There was cars, dress up and an awesome, I think it may have been a Barney toy. There was the book shelves around where we sung and danced. We finger painted, played with play dow and there was alot of cartoon cats on the walls! And, best of all there was a big wooden gym set in class!

Ms.__, the one that I hurt with the blocks (this was the year after the gym set) I didn't like but even that class was wonderful compared to now! She helped me overcome my fear of the gigantic slide on the playground.

I may escape through music. The Lord knows all of my "escapes". He sees the pain that resides in all of our hearts.

I may escape through day/night (day dreaming at night) dreaming as well.

I may use memories. When I was really little....

Fear has robbed me of Proverbs 3:5-6.

Food can be a "temporary" comfort. Just the flesh talking...

Sin builds up. I've asked for forgiveness but I realize I will/probably will just do it again.

I'm spiritually numb. This family doesn't realize what will happen if my mom joins the JW. She doesn't realize the control. When we've gone to Kingdom Hall, they are smiles and hugs-very inviting. But, she doesn't know the whole story...she thinks they're God's people anyway.

So, if one wrong thing is said guess who will be labled as used by Satan to plant seeds of doubt/persecuting God's people? Me. She'll be trapped once baptized...They'll act as her only family.

Three of the most deadly tactics; fear, control and deception.

I miss when I was able to talk to those people at my old church. I miss them.

Fear robs a person of their freedom to live life to the fullest.

If I could just be told that my family and friends (including the JW people) will someday find Jesus...

I even miss the Altheia group (a Christian faith based group in my old school) I was in...they asked if anyone needed prayer but I was too shy. I even miss those two nice Christian ladies at the desk of the guidence office when I was in 3rd period in 12th grade (I took notes to students).