I'm sorry

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Comment by feet breath on July 7, 2012 at 5:51pm

Sorry, I didn't finish that one sentence. "But both my parents and my uncle, I'm even more concerned..."

Comment by feet breath on July 7, 2012 at 5:50pm

Friend, I know I have to give it to Him. Fear is blocking faith..I was scared when I was conerned about mom. But, both my parents and my uncle (there's other lost loved ones, it's just those three I spend the most time with). My uncle came up today (he can since he lives right down the street). I heard his voice. It hurt, it really hurt to hear his voice knowing...

 

This is beyond overwelming. And fear is holding me back from complelty trusting Him. It's really also different things combined that's happeed. Embarassement,confusion,fear,dread,sorrow,downcasted is also there.

Friend,there's very deep things that I haven't mentioned on here...You see it's a combination of things.

 

I know it's astonishing for me to say this but I wish I was back in 12th grade. Yes, I had fear than but this fear outweighs the fear I had than...Atleast in 12th grade I had Christians to fellowship with face to face (even if the most of the time fellowship I got was because the two ladies in the gudience office,I delievered notes in 3rd period, were Christians). I also had mainly fellowship once a month,unless whether messed things up, in Alethia (a Christian group at school). I didn't talk much to them but atleast they were there...

 

So, the main reason I still need to give it to Him is because fear is holding me back...

Comment by Charles Burwell on July 7, 2012 at 11:19am

Dear Feetbreeze

 

My dear friend , I can almost feel your anguish .   You are right on the money when you say you need to see Jesus . In my opinion only I feel that seeking the face of God should be your top priority .

 

Believe me when I say that I have , on a couple of occassion,  became physically ill ( literally ) from worrying about things . But when I finally threw up my hands in despair I was finally ready to just 

( as you have mentioned ) fall down before Him and let Him minister to my spirit. 

 

In Matt 11:28   He invites us to come to Him and we will find  " rest for our souls ".  That , my precious friend , is what I believe yo are seeking for more than anything .  I also feel that yo are getting very close to that point and believe me God is waiting for you to just turn it all over to Him and receive the precious rest that He has promised to you.

 

May God bless you with a real  intense awareness of His presence and His love . I wil be praying for you.

Comment by feet breath on July 6, 2012 at 10:53pm

They aren't official JW (I don't think my uncle or dad ever got baptized, mom never got baptized). My dad and uncle don't study with the JW. Mom is the one who has talked to them...I have as well. The JW have influenced mom and my uncle (I'm assuming that's where he got his belief in Michael being Jesus) though. Mom believes Jesus is Michael. She asked my uncle and I think he agreed. Ether that or he was just so intuned to what he was watching he didn't realize what he was agreeing to.

 

Oh, I'm so sorry...Jesus forgive me. :smacks head: I'm sorry I haven't trusted the Holy Spirit enough...:(

 

Yes, that's what JW believe. They think only 144,000 will make it to Heaven...the rest will like in "Paradise" on the earth.

 

Friend, so much has happened...So much fear,confusion,panic. I haven't trusted Him enough...fear combined with panic tends to do that.

 

Ugh, why can't I trust Him more...my life is like 4 walls getting closer to intrap me. I want to see Jesus, cry on His shoulder,rest in His arms and for the pain to finally go away... 

Comment by Charles Burwell on July 6, 2012 at 9:54am

Dear Feetbreeze

You seem to have such a wonderful , tender heart . This seems to make yo so prone to being hurt and disappointed . You seem to want so desperately ( and understandably so ) to reach your family for Christ and that is a beautiful thing.

However , my dear friend , I think you may be taking too much of the burden of convincing them unto yourself . The job of convincing and convicting belongs to the Holy Spirit alone . You responibility is simply to share with your ( as you are doing) family and then pray for them. The greatest influence you may have on them is to live your life in Christ before them.

Remember Jesus said that no man comes to Him unless the SPIRIT draws him. You seem to be putting too much pressure on yourself to accomplish what the Spirit is here to do.

I have attended a ' kingdom hall ' a few times with JW friends and read lots of their materials . I understand that they are very dogmatic but only with regards to their ' watchtower society' and it's teachings. When they are of the opinion ( as you have stated that your uncle is ) that " the bible contradicts itself ...-_- , it's a man made book ) then you have no real foundation for discussing the things of God with them .

I know several of them who said that they are waiting for the 'milennial reign' or something like that . They believe God will set up a 'perfect earth ' and they will all live there. ( or here, actually )

If someone denied the infallibilty of the scriptures then it does not really help to discuss them , but instead to merely share them and allow the Spirit to take care of the rest .

I can completely understand your desire to reach your family for Christ but please don't beat yourself up for not being able to convince them . As you are growing with Christ simply learn to walk with Him and He will lead you as to what to say or do in regard to your family. He is so much better at convicting and convincing that even the greatest biblical scholars . The Spirit alone can lead us ( or anyone else ) into all truth .

Just learn to trust Him to take care of your needs and desires as you seek Him in the truth He has revealed to you.

God bless you and help you retain your tender heart both towards Him and others.