I Forgive You

I Forgive You.  Matthew 6.14-15

Forgiveness. Perhaps one of the hardest things to render in all the world.

In the prayer he taught the disciples, Jesus talked about forgiveness. Depending on Bible translation or faith tradition, his words might be rendered, ‘Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us’ or ‘forgive us our debts’ or ‘forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us’. Sins, trespasses, debts – no matter – if we want ours forgiven, we must forgive others of their wrongs against us. Jesus said, ‘For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you too; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ Our divine forgiveness linked with our human forgiveness.

Forgive: pardon; excuse for a fault or offense; renounce anger or resentment against; absolve from payment for a debt.

The dictionary definition enables us to see that there are various kinds of forgiveness. For instance, the governor may pardon a convicted killer, but that forgiveness usually does not come at great personal cost to the governor. Similarly, the $500 loan the young couple is excused from repaying their parents is forgiveness of debt, but not likely to cause the parents to grieve their loss in the matter. It seems to be the intentional words or actions of another (particularly one whom we esteem) which deeply affect us emotionally are the most difficult to forgive. Hurt is the primary emotional response, which may then turn into anger, hatred, resentment, bitterness, woundedness, or even brokenness.

Do you know folks who seem to be angry all the time? ‘Bitter? ‘Guarded or Paranoid? ‘Walled up—won’t let anyone close? Stop and think about it—they are not just naturally unpleasant people; chances are they were hurt and have not dealt with the wrong, have not figured out how to let go, and forgive. They might not even be aware of their need to do so.

Recently I was with the family members of someone who was dying, and at different times over days and weeks, had individual conversations about what each had experienced growing up—including years of harsh criticism, sometimes neglect, and a ‘must keep up the appearances’ attitude, even though what everyone on the outside saw was not what went on inside their home at all. Fact is, that individual passed on—but what of the years lost—years of pain that really have been experienced and then internalized, causing dysfunction and disease? Dis-ease … take a look at the word. Some work in forgiveness and letting go is imperative for healing and freedom.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3.13 How do we do that?

I have friends and acquaintances who were sexually abused by relatives when they were too young to defend themselves, or simply did not understand. Their lives have been affected ever since. How do they come to forgive such people, especially when an apology will never be had? Only through the grace of God. The grace of God always leads to forgiveness.

Truth is—all of us have ‘stuff’ of some kind or another, whether it is from childhood, rocky adolescence, a messed-up marriage, unfair treatment or betrayal by a friend. In regular appeals for authenticity in the communities I lead, I smile and say, ‘come on, we’re all broken and recovering from something!’ We all need to learn to forgive and heal, and learn to seek and accept forgiveness from God (and others) as well.

Note: When I am aware that I have injured or hurt someone, it is not okay to fling a ‘Sorrrrry!’ over my shoulder, like a bratty eight-year-old little girl. I must stop, sincerely apologize, and then ask for forgiveness. ‘Will you forgive me for hurting you?’ A hug or a handshake does not hurt either. [If you’re an eight-year-old girl, a tea party, complete with dolls is highly recommended.]

To put the whole matter in perspective though, about things or circumstances that are hard to forgive--I think of Jesus. Think of the emotional pain he felt when his family rejected him as Savior, which they did until after the resurrection; then Judas betrayed him, Peter denied him, and the disciples ran and hid at his greatest hour of need. I do not care if he was God incarnate—God in the flesh—all of this hurt him deeply. And yet, he forgave.

Take your pain to him; God alone understands. Get some healing prayer. You won’t forget what caused you pain, but you will get to a place where you will be able to forgive. Our divine forgiveness linked with our human forgiveness. Now—is that a good thing or a bad thing for you?

Christine

PastorWoman.com