have you????

Have you ever wonder why no matter what you do to try to live a life that will be pleasing to God but nothing seems to go your way???     Well that is how I feel I have tried my very best to live a life that God asks me to live. I have been though quit a bit these past three years and I know that I have not been very true to what the Lord wants me to be but I just do not understand why my  children must pay for my mistakes for my sins. Why must my children pay for what I have done.  They are innocent of all sin they should not need to pay for my sins for my bad choices. Yet  I am still dragging them down with me. They should not have to pay for all of my choices.  My children is all that I have  left and I am trying to do my very best to make their lives good. I just do not understand why if the bible it says "as and you will receive " I am not granted with what I am asking. I know that the Lord works at his time not ours but I am reaaly getting tiered that my children must pay for my sins. they did not ask to come nto this life They never asked to be bord, Yet they are forced to pay for all my badfhoies.