GOD HEALED MY HEART

I don’t remember exactly the day I was baptized. I was in God for long time but I didn’t change much. My life before and after baptize is not much different. I only need Him when I got troubles. I also read Bible and prayed to God but God was not in my way, God was not in my central heart.

I met and fell in love with a man before being baptized. I sometimes thought that he was not my man that God chose for me, but I didn’t ask God permission. We planned to get married; everybody around me knew that we would get married this year. We planned everything, we bought a new apartment, saved money to the wedding….Everything seems to be done and just wait for the wedding. One day I came to God and asked him that “Is he the man that God want me to marry?” But I didn’t read Bible, I just prayed several days and I didn’t give it all to God fully.

Our relationship got troubles; we often had arguments, even the small thing. I know that there is something not right. One day he came to me and said that he doesn’t love me anymore. I was so sad and really hurt; no words could express my hurt.. At that time, I didn’t know what to know. It seems like all doors close to me. I even thought how to die. It was such a bad days.

I need God so much, I prayed and read Bible. The first verse that I read in I Peter 3: 1 “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”. And there are more verses that I also read in II Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”. I wrote every verse that I think that God want me to hear in the notebook and I wrote dairy to God in that notebook too.

There were many different thinking in my mind. Sometimes I thought that I couldn’t live without my boyfriend and sometimes I thought that God wanted me to leave him. I could not control my feeling and I was exhausted. I couldn’t eat & sleep well. I still prayed to God and read Bible every day. I bowed my knees and truly asked him to help me, asked Him to come closer to me. I read in Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

I really need God so much. I went to the church as every Sunday. But this time was different, I really need to go to Church and I was happy to go there, I was so excited. The lesson from the Pastor seems the lesson that God give to me. The lesson was “How is the believer life with God”. I recognized that I wasn’t God’s child. I was a sinful person. I didn’t do what God wanted me to do even I’m a Christian. How could I be peaceful if I don’t obey God?

I prayed to him again and listed down all verses that God gave me in the notebook. I recognized that the only way that I can be peaceful is TRUST IN GOD and GIVE IT ALL TO GOD. God will make the way when there seem to be no way.

I wake up next morning and I didn’t feel hurt anymore; I’m even so happy. It’s hard to explain how I can overcome this pain which I thought that it will take long time. It’s only 7 days for me to get over this. I’m so peaceful now. I don’t worry anymore. I’m still praying to God and read Bible every day. I never being thirsty God’s words like this before. God did heal my pain. It’s really amazing!!!

Some of my friends see my change and they are really surprised and ask me how could I do that? One of my friend (who believes in Buddhist), she got trouble with her boyfriend too but she couldn’t get overcome this. She’s still very hurt now since 1 year passed. She agreed to go to Church with me. It’s really amazing!!!

Thanks God for everything YOU has done for me!!!