FORGIVEN BY GOD, BUT NOT BY MYSELF

I do not know anyone who has not resurrected a previous sin and found
themselves caught in a downward spiral of depression or a feeling of
being trapped by being unable to forget what past wrong they have
committed. We state we believe God has forgiven our sins, but somehow we
carry a self condemning inability to forget and forgive ourselves for
what we have confessed.

The Bible repeatedly confirms God's role in forgiving and forgetting our
sins. "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our
sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1John 1:9) In Isaiah
43:25 we have the promise that God made before Christ was born, " I
even will blot out your transgressions for my own sake , and will
remember them no more." He does not expect us to accept only a partial
cleansing, but rather the fullness of his forgiveness and his forgetting
of our sins. If God offered only a partial cleansing exclusive of
forgetting he would deny fullness of His grace in sacrificing His own
sinless son on our behalf. He gave up his Son to make us his sons and
daughters because of the completeness of his love for us. It is the
completeness of his love for us that reconciles us to him and brings us
face to face with him as he sees us through the sacrifice of his son and
not condemned by our own nature.

God's summary of the law demands that we love him above all and love
others as ourselves. When we accept his forgiveness we glorify him by
our love out of gratitude for his forgiveness. We, in effect, are giving
him all the praise and glory he expects of us because we are conforming
to the likeness of Jesus Christ, who accepted His Father's will in his
life even in obedience unto his own death. The second gift of gratitude
we offer to God in completing our obedience to the law is willingness to
offer loving forgiveness to others as he did to us. We, in effect, have
accepted our self reliance, as a sin, and admitted that only God can
forgive and forget our sins as he promised and planned for his children.

So, why is it you and I struggle with being unable to forgive and forget
ourselves for our past sins? Are we trying to make amends for our
failures? Are we caught up in a web of self judgment or the reminders of
our past by others who judge us? Are we depressed by our failure to
live up to our own self expectations of behavior? Are we depressed by
repeating the same sins again and again? Do we live with the assumption
that accepting God's love is a one time momentary act rather than a life
long process? Do we carry some perverted understanding of pride in
confessing that we cannot accept ourselves as forgiven?

I do not find anywhere in the Bible that says I am capable of being able
to forgive myself, but only passages which promise God is the only
source of forgiveness! It is the richness of this truth which actually
serves as a healthy reminder that His forgiveness is an unmatchable gift
of grace to encourage us to rejoice in his mercy. I am convinced that
someday I will fully comprehend the magnitude and completeness of his
forgiveness of my sins and how God forgets them. I remain unable to
forgive myself or forget my sins, but I can learn how to accept this as a
reminder of my human nature.

Today, I give thanks as he strengthens my faith and causes the memories
of my past sins to fade because he is the one who forgave them and not
left me to try to forgive myself.

To God Be the Glory, Steve