All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
fitting in with others
I've had this problem for most of my life. I have a hard time fitting in with others. Sure, I've had friends...but I'm more isolated from others. I've gotton worse over the years it seems. Now I want to fit in but I'm just so different. I view people differently than others view other human beings. It's difficult to explain.
It's like there's a barrior between me and the rest of mankind. I don't know how...God knows but I still need to know...how can I possibly make a difference?
I'm going to have to be seperated and fellowship will be a memory with other Christians (except for some organizations like VOM and GFA and Zola Levitt). Only if it's by God's will that I'll have an actual person to fellowship with,
Please, brothers and sisters never take fellowship or actual communication with other human beings for granted. Be greatful and thank God every day for it. For it is...it seems like life is in a dark lonliness without it.
Jesus sees how much my heart aches in lonliness. No wonder I like laying in a dark room/like dark scenes like storms. That's what I've known for so long.
May He have mercy on my soul for any self-pity....
Honestly, I'm scared. I'm on this wonderful forum and the light shines. But, I know darkness must come and I will have to get off ( just need to know how to properly witness).
There's moments in my life that brings flashbacks. Like now. The flashbacks hurt me deeply.
I would just love it...if I could see Jesus face to face. And cry on His shoulder. Telling Him everything. It's frustrating when my brain wants to say something but my mouth can't find the words. If I could be held by Him...And hear His precious voice. I know I'll get to see Him in heaven someday, but the pain is still there.
He sses the fear and anguish resting in my heart...He understands what I'm going through.
I would love to actually be able to hug any of you; to know what it's like to actually touch and be around someone who belongs to Him...that cares and understands with God's wisdom.
I know there's more importent people, people in more distress than me. It still hurts nevertheless though.
It's such a privliage to even have fellowship with you, brothers/sisters in Christ, online. Knowing there's people who care.
There's that stupid jealousy and self pity again...forgive me.
Why would someone even care about me as an indivudal? Why would anyone want to even treat me like a human?
Forgive me if anyone is down because of this. Jesus isn't mad at me, is He?
Why do I seem so distant even from my own brothers/sisters in Christ? I see the fellowship but the connection for me isn't good...I guess I'm just afraid of actually getting connected...because I'm afraid I'll loose my brothern. It seems like I connect with something like in the past than why at times do I loose it? I guess that's why I've hardened my heart to truely loving. I'm afraid something will happen to the indivual (animal/person) again...like it did with so many pets like Ms. Nibby and loosing so many pets...for starters.
How can one truely heal? Especially, when I've just hidden my pain inside my heart....
I don't know. But, am I even making any sence to anyone?
How can my own life even matter....
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Comment
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Comment by feet breath on April 24, 2012 at 1:43pm
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Thank you sister, Amanda, I needed reminded of that.
I need help....
For me it seems like I'm fine and don't see the need to "fit in" as long as I have brothers/sisters in Christ to communicate. But, sadly (here comes that stupid self-pity) I see the need to "fit in" for now since know it's dangerous to stay on this forum (or any Christian forum for that matter) once I start witnessing to the JW. It's scary...I have to sneak to even get help. Having to secreativly find help online. It'll be very dangerous if the JW find out.
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Thank you so much! I'll send a message.
Love and God bless,
feetbreeze
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Comment by Mary O on April 24, 2012 at 11:39am
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Sure a message is okay. :-) Take a chance and talk with me.
If we're forming a sinners line, I'm pretty close to the front. God's forgiven me for a lot. He still loves me anyway. He loves you too.
Love and God bless,
Mary
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Ooops "Thank you for caring" not That you for caring
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Hi, sister!
Oh, God knows I don't want to leave. You could say I'm spiritually kicking and screaming not wanting to leave but know I have to. The fear that I have is coming because of another source. That fear is why I have to leave this forum. Would it be ok if I told you about it in a message? This whole situation is filled with fear and sin. I'm absolutly terified. I'm hurting God, I'm hurting my brothern and myself.
:hugs for you: That you for caring.
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Hi Feetbreeze, I'm praying for you. I care. Please don't leave the website. Please stay and pray with us. The truth is I'm not condemning you and neither is God. He knows we are frail and as grass. Perfect love always always casts out or expels fear. Always. There are beautiful prayer warriors in the prayer group who pray so selflessly all the time. Maybe they didn't realize they are kicking fear around every time they pray, but they are. Consider it, when you pray your prayers benefit others, but they also benefit you too.
If you want to reach others with God's word then prayer is important. Read about Phillip in Acts. He was praying and God gave him someone to speak Bible to. If you want to, check out Acts and consider what I have said. I think you will see how they prayed and spoke God's word. God gave the increase. Giving increase is God's job.
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