Finally!! A Passionate Embrace

When I left for church this evening, I still hadn't finished the paper that was due. I reasoned that if I got right with God, He would allow my mind to clear and focus on the task when I returned. I prayed this was true, walked out into the waning sunshine of the day, and got into the truck with a bounce in my step. It was too beautiful outside for my spirits to stay low, even if I was kicking myself in the butt seriously hard for not being as devoted as I should be to my school work....lol.

Everything was pretty normal and average as I took my seat. I was saying that prayer I had asked of all of you, as my brothers and sisters, to say for me: for me to be completely 'undone' so that I could show great passion and fire in my worship and praise of our Lord and Saviour. I had no idea what I was in store for, or as Pastor Ted would have said, 'Little did I know..."

After the rounds of announcements and such, we moved into a quick prayer, and then Ted's sermon began. At first I didn't follow where he was going with it, since he was naming off scripture after scripture, rattling them off so fast I could barely write them down fast enough. I have gotten into the habit of not opening my bible during sermons, but rather writing the scriptures down for research later, so that I can devote my attention and heart totally to God's words being spoken by the person He had set before us. I have found that when I have the book open in front of me, I get preoccupied by the writings and lose the connection my heart has with the words being spoken.

The jist of what he said was this: that we need to find our fervor, our vehemence, and create tumult through our exuberance. When we pray to God, we should put forth such great effort that we agonize. He then confessed to wanting to 'control' and 'edit' the way that prayer sessions were conducted in the past, and that he still must reign himself in to keep from imposing his own will on others in how they approach their prayers. He was doubly injured by the insinuation of others that our youth's prayer sessions were all about being 'dramatic,' and how they were irreverant and blasphemous in their nature. How can anyone accuse our youth of being fake, or of being vain or self-centered in their genuine worship of the Lord? How very tragic, as children are the purest vessels God chooses to act through.

Regardless, a wanderer that I had seen edging around the crowd for several weeks made her way to the stage. She confessed that she was guilty of harboring sexual thoughts for other women as well as using drugs in an attempt to escape the unhappiness of her life. Ted asked that we come forth to show our love for her, not just to sit in the crowd and project our love from afar. We rushed the stage and stood around her more than 15 deep all the way around, our hands on her and on one another. We asked Jesus to come, to make us whole, as One, unified in His name. We cried out in prayer to the Lord, and there were no timid pleas from anyone. Our voices shouted out to the heavens, the energy level humming up and down as we felt jolts of energy from one another. Tears were flowing everywhere, and not a dry eye to be seen, young or old. Songs burst from the throats of the men, and the women echoed their cries with lilting pleas of their own. This went on for better than two hours, although it seemed only like the briefest of instances. My heart was in my throat, my hands were to the sky (when not hugging or putting my arm around others), and I rocked back and forth on my feet to the unique rhythm that God was setting for me. I could feel hands on my shoulders, around my waist, and intertwined with my own hands. For once in my life, I wasn't uncomfortable with all of these strange touches and embraces. I felt like I had come back home, and these were my long lost and long loved family. It was blessed, it was right, and it was God in all his glory!!

I spied the little girl, Rebecca (I mentioned her and her brother Matthew in an earlier post, as she is the one that Todd had to draw the horse for...lol), and made my way through the crowd to pick her up in a hug. She was crying as well, and when asked, said that she was hurting for her teacher Ms. Jamison, who Rebecca had invited to church to learn about Jesus, who unfortunately declined her invitation. This sweet little girl was crying for the lost soul of her teacher!! My heart broke for her, and I held her while we prayed together. She has as much energy in her simple and unadorned prayers as the whole crowd around us did combined...what an awesome and wonderful thing!

The only sad thing about this wonderful night is that Todd was not here for it. I miss him terribly. He is out of town for work until tomorrow some time. This is the sermon we have been waiting for, and he missed out on it. He needed this boost so much! He works so hard to be the spiritual head of our family, and he can use all the encouragement and help he can get. I hope that our foray into this new territory is not just a passing phase, and that our church body finds a way to keep reinvigorating us in our worship every time we gather together. Please, brothers and sisters, pray for us, and for our church body, that we might find a way to embrace this exuberance and make it a part of our daily lives. God deserves nothing less!!

P.S. I finally finished the paper before the midnight deadline. God gave me a small injection of extreme focus, and although I didn't meet the minimum word requirement, I did address all the points that were asked for and got it turned in. Hopefully, my instructor will be forgiving when he grades....?!

To all my brothers and sisters, I pray that you find exuberance and passion, that you agonize over the depth of your relationship with our Lord, and that you each create tumult in your own worship and prayers to our Father. I love you all so very much!! God bless you and keep you until we meet again.