EXPOSING THE HORROR OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE

EXPOSING THE HORROR OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE
BY; ROBERT BUSHMAN


It was the summer of 1985 that my story originated.
My wife and I were invited to attend a special prayer meeting on a Saturday night by a friend from our church. The prayer meeting was organized by a men’s ministry that I had been evolved with for a number of years that was evangelistic and had men from various churches that led it. The meeting was held at a retirement apartment complex meeting room. When we arrived, we found about 25 men and women gathered who we knew from our involvement with this men’s ministry. A small man with a guitar and a woman with bleached blond hair with a flower in her hair with bare feet were up front leading worship. They seemed nice at the time, but little did I know that my whole life would be turned upside down by going to this little prayer gathering and meeting this couple.

Within the next few months this couple would start a new church in a town south of my city in an old run down church building that had been vacant for years. It was the second week after they started to have services at the church that we found ourselves in a meeting. There were about a dozen people gathered including the Pastor and His wife.

I didn’t leave my church and join the new group right away, but got involved with meetings that did not conflict with my own church activities. It would be about 2 months before I finally left my church and would have ended my marriage if my wife would not have followed me.

I was 26 at the time and had a lot of conflicts in my marriage of 5 years. I was discontent with the church I was in, and felt as many of my friends did that our churches were dead and that this new church appeared to have so much life in it. The church grew over night with many exiting things happening all the time. It grew out of the old church building so they started meeting at a school gym. They eventually bought an old warehouse, converting it into a church. A kindergarten to twelfth grade school was started, a bible school, a counseling center and offices and an auditorium that could fit about 300 people were all contained in this new building.

There were short term missionary trips, healing services, street evangelism and wonderful speakers. The church had the best worship services imaginable, and it appeared to all of us that God had answered our prayer for revival. I really felt that the church was destined for great things. My wife had joined me and with our 2 year old son, my marriage was better, it seemed like it was the best thing I had ever done.

By the time the church grew to 300, things began to change. It was in the early 1990s by this time. I became a truck driver for a company where most of the employees were members of this church, my boss was an elder, another co-worker was an elder, and another was the church secretary. By now my life was consumed by the church. It seemed that they always wanted me to do more and more and it was almost impossible to say no. I was doing something for the church 5 or 6 days a week.
I was also going to a 6am prayer meeting 5 days a week. I was expected to also be on a prayer chain for 2 hours during each week also. I had 3 children, and cared for my wife’s mother in our home due to her poor health. I worked a full time job also. I was not alone in this insane schedule. Every one was running ragged all the time. Yes I was a responsible adult; it was my choice to be this evolved, for 12 years I lived like this and it almost became the death of me.

Some how I stopped living my own life and began to live there’s.
The Pastors (husband and wife) would tell us that if we would be faithful, then God would promote us and send us to the ends of the earth. That day never came for any of us, and of coarse it was because we weren’t faithful enough. This lifestyle began to affect my relationship with my extended family and my marriage and my children. There just wasn’t any time, so I became negligent with every thing but the church. I was running on overdrive like this for years.

Even though I had a heart to serve God, I got to the point where the church became my God. I was so busy that I could not be objective. I felt that I was caught up in a whirl wind that I could not escape from. Nothing was more important to me than the church. The church was not for my benefit, I was a resource for the church. The church was like a big engine and I was fuel to keep it running. I was told of the great blessing I would receive for my sacrifice. Many in the group would describe their situation in the same way I have, and there were those who went further and left their marriages and stop contact with family members outside of the group as they became fuel for the church.

The Pastors all of a sudden were PhD’s (I found out later on that they bought these degrees and that they were fakes).They started a counseling center in the church charging
$ 85-100 justifying their actions because they were so called clinical counselors. They would give personality test to the people who came into counseling and use the information to gain control over the person. They would say we will go over the personality test with you in the sessions, but we never got our own copies of the testing that we paid for and they would go over the test with us that would take months. It was their hook to keep us in counseling. They would get some one or a couple in counseling and it would not end until they ran out of money, I know of people who were in counseling for years.

These expectation that were placed upon us, wore us down. With little sleep and completely depleted from the heavy burdens placed upon us many crumbled under it.

But it was all one sided
The Pastors lived by a totally different standard because they were the anointed ones, the privileged ones. We were told that they were Gods gift of mercy to us ignorant people and that we needed to give them our devotion as an act of our gratefulness to God. They felt that they were superior to us because of their charisma, knowledge, talents, and position. They would put demands upon us that they would never put on themselves. Because they felt privileged they lived like royals.
They lived in a home that was extravagant with a hot tubs and a pool. They had expensive furniture and exotic birds. They used people from the church as there personal servants to meet their every need and want. The people that worked closes to them would be the ones who would be abused the most. They became so self absorbed that they were only concerned about getting what they wanted even if ment using verbal abuse and physical abuse, and subjecting innocent people to unheard humiliations.

The truth is that the church was a business for the express purpose of making the pastors rich at the expense of the congregants.
They had full control of all the money. They would go on elaborate vacations many times leaving church bills unpaid and not paying the staff. Many times the staff would have to practically beg the pastors to pay them. They would use many different tactics to get money. Every service had a small sermon that would be given on tithing and offerings compelling us to give more and more; ten percent was not enough if we wanted to be blessed. We were instructed how much money we were to give toward special offerings for their anniversary, For Christmas, or their birthdays. If our children were in the school, even if a parent taught in the school they still had to pay tuition even when the teachers went unpaid. They would force our children to do fundraisers for the school and then pocket all the money for themselves. A lot of people who left the group, left in financial ruins because they gave all their resources to the church and the Pastors.

The Pastors were so arrogant that when people started leaving the church that they still continued in their elaborate lifestyle. They just figured out new ways to exploit more money from us who were still there.

They were not only selfish and indulgent, they were diluted with a since of superiority. They really believed that they were entitled and if anyone came against them they would say it was because of jealousy or that they had fallen into sin and had become controlled by demons. Using fear tactics to control the people was common.

In the book of Ezekiel chapter 34 the Lord spoke to Ezekiel that He was to prophecy to the Sheppard’s of Israel (pastors) saying; That The lord was bringing Judgment upon them because they were only taking care of themselves and not taking care of the sheep. This scripture give a great illustration of what I went through.
I was like a sheep with an evil Sheppard who exploited me, devouring all my resources.
They cared for themselves but did not care for me their sheep. They devoured the best part of me (my gifts, talents, and my money) for themselves and took from me my personhood. They ruled over me with harshness and caused me to live in fear of them.

I was taught that if I didn’t submit to them that I would be cursed because they were Gods anointed and I would be rebelling against God If I didn’t obey them.
It wouldn’t be until I was free of them that I would be able to see how debilitating it was to be subjected to this kind of abuse. It has taken many years for recovery, emotionally, socially, spiritually, and financially.


It is sad fact that spiritual abuse is occurring hurting the body of Christ
In the gospels Jesus dealt with religious leaders harshly because they were involved in abusing people that God loves. Jesus taught that leadership was all about serving and not about being served. Leaders were not to be big shots, which are privileged and better than the people they are suppose to be serving. Jesus is the anointed son of God who died for the sins of the world, even for the sins of arrogant leaders. Every pastor need to come to grip with the fact that they are stewards of the church that belongs to Jesus Christ. Pastors are privileged if God allows them to care for His people. The Pastor is for the Church, not the Church for the Pastor.

The best illustration of how it feels to endure spiritual abuse is incest.
A child is exploited and used by the one who is suppose to be their protector, the one who is suppose to provide them with a safe place to grow, instead the child’s foundation of security is destroyed. The child’s innocence is stripped away never to be reclaimed. The affects of incest on a child is detrimental and so is pastoral and church abuse. It almost seems impossible to over come. Only the grace of God can heal this kind of brokenness.

The fruit of spiritual abuse
Whenever some one gets evolved with an authoritarian abusive church system the fruit will be failed marriages, departures from the faith, bitter broken people, depression, traumatic stress disorders, and other mental illnesses. I saw many of my friends disillusioned and crushed in spirit, many in their struggle have turned to alcohol and drugs, some have departed from the faith and some have found help through counseling.

How do people get caught in the trap of spiritual abuse?
Many have asked; how could so many people could get caught up in such a destructive horrible situation? I believe one of the reasons is that basically our down fall was that we allowed the Pastors to have a place in our lives that is reserved only for the Lord. We were taught that they were God’s Anointed servants sent to be our Sheppard’s and if we would follow them we would be blessed, we also believed that we would be cursed if we came against them. They had a charisma about them that could not be denied. I had to learn the hard way that that no matter how gifted a person appears, or how anointed they seem, or how much charisma they exhibit, it does not validate them. Godly Character and the fruit of the Spirit validate a person.

What kind of people are drawn into abusive Churches?
Most of the people were good people with good hearts who could not conceive in their imaginations that Pastors could be greedy, selfish, and evil and were taken advantage of because of their innocence. Most of the people were hard working, well meaning people
who loved the Lord and wanted to please Him. Many thought that it was truly a work of God and wanted to be part of it. Maybe you’re thinking that this kind of thing is uncommon. The truth is that it is happening, more than you can imagine. It happened to me and my family, it happened in a small city in the northeastern United States. Wolves in sheep’s clothing came into my city and twenty years later many people are still suffering from the wounds inflicted by these wolves
The police departments, Pastors, Christian Counselors, and Mental health agencies can testify to the horrific affects of spiritual upon people who have come out of this abusive church. I could write more detailed accounts of what happened to me, but it would serve no purpose. I desire to see people that Jesus loves set free from these kinds of abusive situations as I have found freedom myself.

What it is like to be entrapped in an abusive group?
Religious manipulation that produces guilt starts out with holding a carrot of approval and ends up beating them with a rod of condemnation. It is hard to get prospective when you are in a group like this. You are surrounded by many sincere people who you love and work very closely with. You end up always second guessing your self. Your judgments become clouded. Every one around you seems to be ok, you think you are just imagining things or being too sensitive. You are unable to voice any disagreements with leadership and if you dare voice any disagreement you will be marked as a troublemaker or rebellious because you are coming against The Anointed One. Loyalties between members exist only as long as the members don’t come against the leaders. You can see a lot of the same dysfunctional behaviors that you would see in an alcoholic home. Every one covers up the family secret, even if wrong is taking place everyone in the family is to cover up the problem to keep the family intact. Denial is a powerful thing if it means you can loose so much! So you become an enabler for those who need help and deliverance themselves.

What occurs when someone takes a stand against the wrong doing?
When anyone would takes a stand in the group and begin to voice their concerns about the actions of the Pastors, they would be humiliated, they would be told that they have a demonic spirit upon them that was causing them to question the pastors. They would be told that they are just being rebellious and they would be excommunicated from the group if they didn’t recant and enter into repentance. The threat of excommunication and being rejected is viewed as the same as being rejected from God. The people who left the church suffered rejection by family and friends they might have had for many years. I was called demented, a liar, friends I had had for years treated me with contempt, The pastors would tell lies about the people who left and the ones who left had no way of defending themselves because no one was to associate with the rebels. I stood up to the pastors and confronted their false teaching and their ungodly behavior. I told them I would not be a part of a church that used deceit, and manipulations to control the congregants. I was shunned, rejected, and humiliated by those in the church who were told lies and were manipulated to treat me and my family like scum. I know how they were made to feel because I was in the church when others left.

What is it like when someone leaves the group?
I felt like I was marked when I came out. How could I ever serve in a church again?
I felt like damaged goods. Would any one ever take me serious again?
Or will they label me as a former cult member who could still be embracing his former cultic ways? I was a Youth Pastor; I taught in the Bible school, I worked in the prison ministry. My whole life and identity was geared toward ministry.


My wife and I fought for almost a year after leaving the group just trying to deal with the false accusations that were hurled against us. When you stand up against lies you end up dealing with the father of lies. It made my healing process harder because of the constant attack that they threw at me and my family. My biggest battle was dealing with anger and resentment. I experienced tremendous grief and depression for a long time. I felt Isolated and rejected. It was hard to find understanding and compassion from extended family members whom I had neglected and shunned while in the group. Many of the people who had come out before I did were embittered or trying to recover themselves. A lot of the people had to move away because they could not deal with living in the same city where this church was still operating. There were so many complex issues to deal with and it was hard to find anyone who could help me unravel this whole thing. I thank God that he provided me with some really compassionate Godly Pastors and counselors that helped me on my road to recovery.

The sad reality
It is a sad reality that many people who suffer this kind of trauma and abuse don’t recover easily or quickly. It can take years to recover for some and some never recover. Many will leave the church; some will attend a church, but will not commit themselves to it.
When you are traumatized by spiritual abuse you have a hard time not focusing on all the negative things in the church, you are suspicious of everything and everyone. You find yourself questioning everything because of the fear of being entrapped again. It is awful to live so cynical, but this is the reality of the spiritual abused person. I know friends who suffered from post traumatic stress disorder, who found themselves experiencing extreme anxiety and panic attacks just by hearing a song or hearing something that is said that reminds them of their former church where they were abused. Some could not attend any kind if church functions because of the trauma. The days of innocence are gone when they could go to church and enjoy the worship, the preaching, and the fellowship of a local church.

For along time I felt like an outsider wondering if I could ever feel connected again, and if I could ever trust again. This stuff is really hard to overcome. I would have people say to me, why can’t you just put it behind you and get over it and get on with your life? I felt like Humpty Dumty who was broken into a million pieces and had no idea of where to begin to put my life back together and get on with it.

It is so important to understand that this group was my life, it was my everything. I ate, drank, invested all my time and energy and all my resources into it. I truly felt I was on the right path. It was if I was going a hundred miles an hour in one direction and when I saw the truth I had to stop the momentum and go in another direction.

I had to redefine my life;
I had to redefine my relationship with the Lord. I also had to for my self spend a lot of time examining my heart, to find some kind understanding of how I was seduced into this group. I had to deal with a fragmented marriage and children that had been neglected for years. I had to rethink my belief systems and I had to redefine my priorities.
I also had to deal with financial problem that I had developed because I had poured so much of my resources into the group.

This redefinition of my life was very difficult, one day I was a licensed Pastor, respected and loved, and the day I left the group in their eyes I was evil, and deceived, demonic and rejected. The teens that I pastured were told that I had back slid, was rebellious and had departed from following the Lord. I had to change my phone number because of so many hateful things that were being left on my answering machine. These people who were my friend for over a decade treated me and my family with such contempt I could barely stand it.

How are the children affected?
The affects of being involved in a spiritually abusive church was detrimental to my children and most of the children whose families came out of the group. The older children experienced a lot of abuse themselves and developed contempt to organized religion. Many children saw their families brake up, even the young children as they grew up saw all the conflict their families went through trying to recover also developed contempt for the church. In an abusive church setting it is all about image. So of course the school hid the fact that one of my children had a learning disability and instead of letting us know, they falsified his grades.


How long does it take recover?
It took me 5 years before I found a church where I finally began to connect again and found a counselor where with the help of the Holy Spirit I was able to let it go and enter into the healing process. 9 years have past and even though I have times where I slip back into my memories and have to place it all in Gods hands again I feel like I have come a long way on my road to recovery.
How are the children affected?
The affects of being involved in a spiritually abusive church was detrimental to my children and most of the children whose families came out of the group. The older children experienced a lot of abuse themselves and developed contempt to organized religion. Many children saw their families brake up, even the young children as they grew up saw all the conflict their families went through trying to recover also developed contempt for the church. In an abusive church setting it is all about image. So of course the school hid the fact that one of my children had a learning disability and instead of letting us know, they falsified his grades.


How long does it take recover?
It took me 5 years before I found a church where I finally began to connect again and found a counselor where with the help of the Holy Spirit I was able to let it go and enter into the healing process. 9 years have past and even though I have times where I slip back into my memories and have to place it all in Gods hands again I feel like I have come a long way on my road to recovery.

I had to deal with forgiveness on three levels

1.I had to find God’s grace in my life to forgive those who hurt me so deeply. I learned that the best way to do this was to pray for those who hurt me. I would pray each time the hurt would come to my mind. I would ask the lord to forgive them for what they did to me and that he would lead them into repentance. I forgave as an act of obedience to the Lord who forgave me so much. Forgiveness is something we do to heal ourselves.

2.I had to forgive myself. I learned that by not forgiving myself is a combination of self- pity and self-righteousness and that I had to come to terms with the fact that God wants us to forgive ourselves. Forgiving my abusers was much easier than forgiving myself. I led my family into a horrible cult, I sat back and allowed my families suffer, I could not forgive myself. I became self destructive, I didn’t deserve my family. I can remember the day when God used a dear family member to help me see that I was carrying out judgment upon myself and helped me to forgive myself.

3.I had to also forgive God. It wasn’t that God had done anything wrong, but during my trial I had become doubtful of his care for me, and I developed unforgiveness because I didn’t understand. I think that we tend to blame God when things go wrong, but the truth is that a lot of our sorrows are of our own making.



Yes I made a lot of mistakes along the way, but I am on my way to recovery from these difficult things that I have had to endure. I want to share a few practical things that have helped me in this process.



Remove distortion of who God is.
Because spiritual abuse strikes at the very core and heart of the person and their relationship with God;
The first thing that must take place is that misconceptions about God’s character, and his person must be challenged to make sure that they have a accurate view of who God is as revealed in his word.

The spiritually abused person’s misconception about God was shaped by those who desired to control and manipulate them. These abusive systems distort who God is and misrepresent God’s heart into something horrific and distorted. This is done to control the congregants.
One of the most horrific results of spiritual abuse is that the victim believes these distortions, rejecting God because of it.
Rebuilding their understanding of Gods true nature, as a loving, accepting, and forgiving God as revealed in Jesus Christ will help to remove the temptation of the person to loose their faith.


Jesus must become supreme.
Lead the spiritually abused person to make Jesus lord of their lives.
Abusive cultic groups promote Jesus as being lord through the Leaders.
They need to come to see Jesus not only as the anointed one sent from God to be their savior, but as their supreme lord and king in their lives.
False doctrine about what leadership means in their life must be challenged and they will need to develop a true, biblical view of headship.


Coming to grips with all they have endured is not easy.

A. The spiritually abused person cries out, “Why me”? “Why did God let this happen to me”? Yes they were hurt and abused; yes they overlooked things and lived in denial some times for years. That was then and now there out and need help to leave the past in the past and not bring it into the present.

B. Help them to see that God will be their source strength and help in their time of need. Show them in the scriptures how Jesus clearly expressed God’s Heart concerning spiritually abusive leaders. They were the only ones Jesus expressed anger to.

C. Show them how God in his great power can cause all things to work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. God doesn’t promise us that everything will turn out the way we want it to, but he promises us his devotion and his grace in every situation we may face.

D. There is a lot of shame associated with past involvement with an abusive cultic group that the person will need help resolving. Many times a stigma is attached to them. I have been referred to many times as, “Oh you’re a former blank, blank”. I hated being classified like this. All anyone wants who comes out of a group is to find normality again and not to be classified or labeled with a stigma.




E. You will also need to help some of the people who come out of spiritual abuse to enter into repentance and except forgiveness for abuse that they participated in themselves. They need to be shown that they are responsible for their own personal failure, but not for the group as a whole.

God’s word must become foundational
The spiritually abused person must learn to study the Bible themselves. They need to realize that Holy Spirit is a teacher and he will guide them into all truth. Because of the distortion of the truth they will need to make sure that their belief systems are biblically sound. Many of these groups are reasonably orthodox in doctrine, but truly abusive in the relational aspect of the group.


They need to learn to take care of themselves

A. While in an abusive group many will neglect their personal needs, they might have not even gone to get a physical check up in years. Control in the group is maintained in many ways and one way was to run you ragged. Show them that we as Christian bring glory to God by our daily life style, in our practical life.

B. You will have to also show them that that local church can be beneficial in a right context. They can find instruction, fellowship, and support, and can even find a place to where they can use their gifts and bless others.



There is an added burden if children are involved.
A lot of the school age children have a real hard time adjusting. In the group a lot of fear was generated about outsiders. So they have a hard time going to new schools. They lost family and friends when they left the group whom they my not have contact with any longer, they experience confusion, anger, and grief. Some families were torn apart, and if one parent refused to leave the group they might have to go back and forth between the parents. They need help to overcome all the issues that the adults deal with and more. Many children grow up and want nothing to do with church. Why would they want to be a part of something that caused there parents so much pain? A lot of their wounds come from seeing their parents struggle and hurt because of the group. Many children went through deprivation and neglect and have deep resentment they are dealing with. They felt like they got the left over’s and they were secondary to the church.







It is important that Church leaders can identify abusive authoritarian, abusive, cultic groups.
The following will help you to identify and also help you minister someone who might be seduced into a group.
The following questions come from the book:
Recovering from churches that abuse
By Ronald Enroth, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Zondervon, 1994.
1. Does a member's personality generally become stronger, happier, and more confident as a result of contact with the group?
In an abusive church, the use of guilt, fear, and intimidation to control members is likely to produce members who have a low self-image, who feel beaten down by legalism, who have been taught that asserting oneself is not spiritual.
One of the first disturbing characteristics to be reported by relatives and friends of members of these churches is a noticeable change in personality, usually in a negative direction.
2. Do members of the group seek to strengthen their family commitments?
Nearly all unhealthy churches attempt to minimize the commitments of their members to their family, especially parents.
Young people may be told that they now have a new "spiritual" family, complete with leaders who will "re-parent" them.
Church loyalty is seen as paramount and family commitments are discouraged or viewed as impediments to spiritual advancement.
3. Does the group encourage independent thinking and the development of discernment skills?
Control-oriented leaders attempt to dictate what members think, although the process is so spiritualized that members usually do not realize what is going on.
A pastor or leader is viewed as God's mouth piece, and in varying degrees a member's decision making and ability to think for oneself are swallowed up by the group.
Pressure to conform and low tolerance for questioning make it difficult to be truly discerning.
4. Does the group allow for individual differences of belief and behavior, particularly on issues of secondary importance?
A legalistic emphasis on keeping rules and a focus on the need to stay within prescribed boundaries is always present in unhealthy spiritual environments.
Lifestyle rigidity in such groups increases a member's guilt feelings and contributes to spiritual bondage. This rigidity is often coupled with an emphasis on beliefs that would not receive great attention in mainstream evangelicalism.
5. Does the group encourage high moral standards both among members and between members and non members?
In intense, legalistic churches and religious organizations, the official, public proclamations usually place special value on high moral standards.
In some instances, there is a double standard between those in leadership and those in the rank and file membership.
Abusive churches tend to have incidents of sexual misconduct more often than most conventional churches; leaders sometimes exhibit an obsessive interest in matters relating to sex.
6. Does the group's leadership invite dialogue, advice and evaluation from outside its immediate circle?
Authoritarian pastors are usually threatened by any outside expression of diverse opinions, whether from inside or outside the group. When outside speakers are given access to the pulpit, they are carefully selected to minimize any threat to the leadership's agenda.
Coercive pastors are fiercely independent and do not function well in a structure of accountability.
For the sake of public relations, they may boast that they are accountable to a board of some sort, when in actuality the board is composed of "yes-men" who do not question the leader's authority.
7. Does the group allow for development in theological beliefs?
Another hallmark of an authoritarian church is its intolerance of any belief system different from its own.
They tend to measure and evaluate all forms of Christian spirituality according to their own carefully prescribed system, adopting an "us-versus-them" mentality.
8. Are group members encouraged to ask hard questions of any kind?
A cardinal rule of abusive systems is "Don't ask questions, don't make waves."
A healthy pastor welcomes even tough questions. In an unhealthy church disagreement with the pastor is considered to be disloyalty and is tantamount to disobeying God.
People who repeatedly question the system are labeled "rebellious", "unteachable", or "disharmonious to the body of Christ".
Persistent questioners may face sanctions of some kind such as being publicly ridiculed, shunned, shamed, humiliated, or disfellowshiped.
9. Do members appreciate truth wherever it is found even if it is outside their group?
Whether they admit it or not, abusive churches tend to view themselves as spiritually superior to other Christian groups.
This religious elitism allows little room for outside influences. There can be no compromise with external sources, who, the leadership will say, really don't understand what is going on in the ministry anyway.
10. Is the group honest in dealing with nonmembers, especially as it tries to win them to the group?
Sometimes abusive groups illustrate a "split-level religion". There is one level for public presentation and another for the inner circle of membership.
The former is a carefully crafted public relations effort, the latter a reality level experienced only by the "true believers".
Recruitment tactics are usually intense, even if they are not actually deceptive or fraudulent, they can be manipulative or exploitive.
Sometimes high pressure religious groups are evasive about there true identity: "We really don't have a name, we're just Christians."
A healthy Christian group should have no qualms about revealing who it is and what its intentions are.



11. Does the group foster relationships and connections with the larger society that are more than self-serving?
First impressions are not always correct. Sustained contact with an unhealthy church, however, will usually reveal a pattern that is consistent with the characteristics we have identified.
Members will be requested to serve, to become involved, to sign up for a variety of activities that, upon closer inspection, appear to maintain the system and serve the needs of the leadership.
Abusive churches thrive on tactics that promote dependency.
Emphasizing obedience and submission to leaders, these churches often require a level of service that is overwhelming to members, resulting in emotional turmoil and spiritual breakdowns.

We are experiencing an epidemic of abusive, cultic groups in America
I was overwhelmed as I read this evaluation as I saw so many of the characteristic of the abusive group I had been evolved with.
Dr Louis J. West, former director of the neuron-psychiatric institute at UCLA, has commented; “For the last two decades the situation has been growing steadily worse. We don’t know how many people are affected”. He goes on to say that he has seen estimates that as many as 10 million Americans have been at least briefly involved with cultic groups during the last 20 years. He also said that even if were 1million the situation would be grave.
Dr Walter Martin, in his book, martin speaks out on the cults (Ventura, Ca: Regal Books, 1983) reported that there are 30 million people in the U.S. who currently belong to thousands of cults now operating in this country.
It is disturbing to be confronted with such a great problem, but to the best of my knowledge there are a mere handful of books written on the social and psychological affects of destructive cults. There are many books that deal with theological heresies of the more well known cults.
Unfortunately, the impression is easily gained from these books that cults can be identified strictly on the basis of doctrine, while ignoring cultic practices such as authoritarianism, legalism, and humiliation, verbal and physical abuse.

Another problem is that the focus on the more visible cults can obscure the fact that there are thousands of small cult groups that never make media headlines.
These groups can be just as dangerous and sometimes more dangerous than the more visible groups. Ron Enroth says that He is confronted on a regular basis with hurting people who are coming to him from these groups.
It’s time for the Church of Jesus Christ to step up to the plate

The church has done a lot with other social needs; they have provided resources for unwed mothers, for the unborn, for addicts, and for alcoholics.
Now it is time for the church to step up to the plate and help people coming out of abusive groups. It will evolve a ministry of reconciliation, healing, and nurturing.
Nobody knew what to do when multitudes of people came out of the group I was evolved with and started pouring into the local churches.
These people have special needs and special problems. These people are often misunderstood. There are many reason why they finally leave the cults; some are throne out, some escape, some drift away, some walk out, unable to stomach the regimen any longer. Most of the people and families come out with none or limited financial resources
Where do these people go if there are no charitable services available?

Abusive, cultic groups hurt the Church

Many churches themselves have suffered as a result of many of their own members who were seduced into these groups.
I was a member of a church for 8 years when I was seduced into the abusive, authoritarian, group. The church was a small church and close to half the church left to join this group.
Can you imagine how hard it was for the church to recover from this kind of exodus? Many churches are filled with people who have never been evolved with these abusive groups, but have been wounded just the same.
Most of the growth in the abusive group that I was in was from people who left other churches. So it is of utmost important that there are not any roots of bitterness in these churches if they are going to be in the ministry of reconciliation as spiritually abused people come into their churches.

Healing in the Body Of Christ
If the body is ill, the head hurts, the body temperature is elevated, the heart races, the lungs labor, the skin flushes or cools as needed. The kidneys work overtime to filter out infection; the brain directs each organ and each function of the body to cooperate in throwing off the enemy and restoring the organism to health.
This cooperation, this united effort against outside forces that invade the body, is an illustration of how the separate members of the Body of Christ ought to unite to work against threatening forces of evil and spiritual abuse.
Healthy churches will not be so susceptible to its members being pulled into these groups and will be able to minister healing to wounded members of the body whom the Lord will send to them.
It is all about healing broken people, not judging them. You are not going to be contaminated by them. We are one with each other. When one member of the body of Christ hurts, we all hurt. We can’t ignore them, we can’t pretend there not there either. The Holy Spirit will give specific wisdom for each situation because each situation is unique as the person is unique.

The Pain Of Grief
Leaving a cult or an abusive church is like experiencing the death of a close relative or a broken relationship. The feeling is often described as like having been betrayed by someone with whom you were in love with. You feel as if you were simply used.
There is a grieving process to pass through. Whereas most people understand that a person must grieve after a death etc, they find it difficult to understand the same applies in this situation. There is no instant cure for the grief, confusion and pain. Like all grieving periods, time is the healer.
Some feel guilty, or wrong about this grief. They shouldn’t - It is normal.
It is not wrong to feel confused, uncertain, disillusioned, guilty, angry, untrusting - these are all part of the process. In time the negative feelings will be replaced with clear thinking, joy, peace, and trust.
Yes - It hurts but the hurts will heal with time, patience & understanding.
Profile of abuse leaders
A.They appear to be a positive person.
B.It seems they always keep a smile on their face.
C.They may appear to be very optimistic and up.
D.Their sermons are full of quick easy answers and glib advice.
E.They have dark hidden temptations, marriage problems, and failures in parenting, and finances that are never disclosed.
F.They control the flow of information and silence any people who are troublemakers.
G.They can’t tolerate freedom of expression, honest questions, or straight talk.
H.They appeal for unity in order to protect themselves from critical examination.
I.They see themselves as the supreme determining or guiding influence.
J.They use fear tactics to hold the congregants captive through things such as false teaching, and false prophecy.
K.They feel they are above error. They will not submit themselves under anyone.
L.They produce bad fruit.
M.They have a prideful, arrogant, independent spirit,
N.They use seats of authority to control which have nothing to do with true spiritual authority such as PhDs, MAs, The Anointed, etc.



Conclusion

As for me I can truly say that every act of love that was showed to me and my family, every tear that was shed with me, every listening ear without degrading judgments, and every encouraging word helped me on my own road to recovery.

But nothing about spiritual abuse is simple. Those who have experienced it know it is powerful enough to cause them to question their relationship with God, indeed, the very existence of God. The damage that has been done is not irreversible. It is possible for the abused person to feel safe again. It is possible for them to learn to rest again. It is possible for them to regain that sense of blessing they once had when they first realized that God's stance towards them, God's 'yes', was not based on your performance, but rather on God's very own performance, that of Jesus, signed, sealed, finished, available in gift-form only.

It has taken many years for me to recover; I still suffer from some ramifications of it that I will have to continue to deal with for the rest of my life. My hope and prayer is that the church will become more proactive in dealing with these issues.

The enemy has intimidated, and overwhelmed the church long enough. We have the truth that sets people free. As more information is being generated increasing awareness about this need I hope that maybe less people will be seduced into these groups and that maybe the healing process for these abused souls can be accelerated.

I also hope that individual churches themselves will begin to look and see if they to have experienced abuse and are harboring hurt from those who abandoned them for a cultic group. I went back to the church where I was seduced out of and ask for forgiveness from anyone I had hurt and after almost 20 years there were some people who came forward and reconciled with us.