"Deep within Me"

In 1995, I experienced something for the first time, something that I had never experienced before in my life. It came out of nowhere. And when I use those words no where I truly mean “Nowhere” and it wasn’t out of the blue but out of “darkness”.  Darkness full of the sound over whelming fear!  A fear where  every breath you try to take feel like your last, and every pound of your heart your you can hear pulsing through your ears while your thoughts race out of control and then that just what you become “out of control”. The doctors said I had a nervous breakdown and this experience that I felt was a panic attack. This was my first known panic attack but it wasn't  my last. They say when you cough, sneeze or have runny nose... you have a cold. But the truth is the cough, sneeze and runny nose are just the symptoms of a cold they are not the "cold". What I’ve come to understand about these panic attacks is they are just the “symptoms” of something deeper. Something so deep within me! And this is where my journey with the Lord begins…”Deep within me”.