Deep Thinking looking for answers

Professional I want a part time night job, janitorial, warehouse and I do have blue card in unarmed security,but after hearing yelling goes on in that which I hate and maintain my post which is hard. I feel I need a job not dealing much with people. I have low tolerance for injustice, insensitive remarks, sarcasm and any other forms disrespect. Personal wise it's both birthday and holiday times for myself. Thanksgiving I went to gym and Salvation Army to get meals nice gathering. Both my mom and grandmom are dead mom passed away last year and grandmom 6 yrs ago. My birthday is coming up December 9th,I'm going to try to go to motel and eat out at I HOP. My mom used to cook for me steak, potato and cake but her gone. I don't want to cook not on my own day. Last year I went to motel and ate I HOP .I'm planning doing the same,then Christmas is coming,New Year's and then my late mom's birthday January 11th all around the corner. I know about being responsible and work still be nice to get financial assistance at times. Mom and grandmom raised me and both were generous in giving me money when in a jam but they're now deceased. It's challenging for me and yes I'm believer.