Dear God - October 15, 2011

Good Morning Father,

First, I just want to praise you and thank you for your unconditional love, mercy and grace.  In this world, we don't get those things as you give.  I praise you Lord!

Yesterday was a better day than Thursday evening.  I thank you for your Word and being able to fellowship with others while studying your Word!  It helps me to keep my eyes focused on you rather than the issues at hand.  Lord, at Celebrate Recovery last night I heard Karen's testimony and I feel selfish because others go through much more pain then I have and yet I seem to complain.  I already know you know each and every hurt in my heart.  I praise you that Tim is plugging into church now and that we are at least able to sit near each other and talk afterwards.  Lord, simply put we are both broken. 

Yesterday I heard from a friend about a marriage program called "Retrouvaille" and after checking with Tim, we will be going in the middle of November.  Lord, I had the choice of one or two beds and I honestly couldn't get myself to put one.  I want our marriage to work and I am seeking you through this process.  I am thankful our counselors will be helping us work towards a common goal and as 1 John talks about that the light shine through.  Lord, I want ALL of this out before you in the light.  In the light, there is truth and Satan can't be seen in the light!   Lord, I pray ONLY YOUR WILL BE DONE in our marriage!  If it is your Will for our marriage to not only heal but thrive, Lord, I pray that absolutely every path towards that way be open and all ways that aren't yours be blocked.  I pray for Tim Lord.  I pray you will raise him up to be the husband and father you intend him to be.  Lord, I pray you will raise me up to be the daughter of a King that looks to her Father and surrenders it all.  Lord, I lay this at your feet with my whole heart.  Lord, I pray the marriage program will show us hope.  I have been praying you would show me a couple (or more) that not only have made it through a separation but you have healed their hurts and they are working to serve you together.  Lord, thank you for allowing Wilma to share about the program.  I know she is private like me and wears the mask at work.  I know her and Mike will be sharing their story and it opens up another level of trust in you that Tim and I will hear, especially since we work together.

Lord, today Tim asked me to go see Courage with him and I do want to go.  I pray Lord that our Tim together will be enjoyable and that we can learn just to be with each other and not fight.  Lord, Satan wants to destroy our marriage and he's done a really good job and I'm so sorry I have failed you.  Lord, I pray for your healing power and restoration of our marriage.  I pray that this evening we can pray together at church and you will soften each of our hearts. 

Thank you Father for your love!

In Jesus Precious Name I pray, your daughter, Marilyn