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Baptism...:sighs:
I tried to ask mom today(by the grace of God I was able to explain it a little better than before) if she wanted to come to my baptism. She said she isn't much of a church goer.
She said I was already baptised (I was in 08). I tried to explain that this time was different for Jesus saved me in 2010 (I wasn't saved in 08). She said I was "saved" than (in 08).
She wanted to know how many times I'm going to get baptised...:sighs: I was having a really hard time trying to explain it...She thinks I'm trying to be really good and stuff...
I'd love it if another Christian was with me when she would ask...than hopefully he or she would be able to explain it better.
I've heard people say plant seeds,the Holy Spirit convicts.
She needs Jesus so much...I know the Holy Spirit is working on her...:sighs:
edit:I was talking to God about what's going on. I realized something...it finally hit me why I have such a hard time talking to my parents.
As some of you may know, when I was in 8th grade I was bullied to the point of wanting to commit suicide. My mom found out...naturally she got very upset. After seeing the look on her face I didn't want to talk to them (dad or mom) about it pretty much ever again.
I kept alot of pain built up inside me from different things over the years. And seeing how upset she was I figured it was better to talk to people online/keep it bottled up.
Fast forward close to 6 years later (the big "incident" that happened in Nov. of 06 is what caused me to finally snap into a deep depression) and it's been pretty much hard to talk to them about deep issues ever since...
Well, mom has asked me before stuff like "Tell me,what have you done that's so wrong?" That's been said when talking about sin and whatever...I can't stand the thought of saying "Well, you know in 8th grade...I had thoughts of suicide." I had some pretty big sins. My thoughts got so bad it wouldn't be appropraite to put what I was thinking...that's how messed up I was.
I've done plunty wrong. It's just it's really hard to think about how upset they'll get once they'd hear that their daughter was on the verge of being a victim of bullycide. It'd be hard enough to talk to believers who'd understand about it. But, my parents? It'd be too hard on them...and it's too hard for me to explain it to them. :sighs:
So, for like around the last 6 years my life has been hidden from them...Not only about my past. It's just really deep topics in general...
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Comment by feet breath on October 8, 2012 at 5:54pm
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You're not dumb sister. :) No one excepting Jesus can ever be dumb.
Wow, that's pretty neat. We were "spiritually" born close to the same time,weeks apart. Awesome! I see humility in what you put. Giving God credit for wisdom. That is a true trait of humbleness.
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Well, the problem is I've been quiet towards my parents about this,talking about my faith. Usually, a topic has to be brought up (or something has to trigger me to say something) before I talk about it. Mom has mentioned stuff but I didn't want to cause an argument about the whole Michael/Jesus-He's really God debate. So, I did like Carla said and just prayed. Well, mom has brought it up to dad in the past. She also said something to dad and my uncle outside before. What was awesome was when she brought it up to me (saying Jesus and Satan were the first created angels/they're brothers). I was wanting to "retreat" but the Holy Spirit quickly calmed me down. I didn't argue. I just mainly asked her where it was in the Bible. she said it's in there (not sure where though). Atleast it planted the seed of that question "Where is it the Bible?" I couldn't have done it without the Holy Spirit. Now dad and her said they'll come to my baptism. It'll depend on for my uncle if he has to work.
It's amazing what God has done! What is the problem though? I thought it was mainly I didn't want an arguement to break out about the whole thing Jesus isn't Michael...I realize now it goes deeper. If we get into a discussion and she asks me what I did wrong...I'm so ashamed for dad or her to find out...It's been hidden for years in me. But, when she asks that's where I stop at the conversation. "What have you done so bad?" It's not that I was a really good girl who did whatever her daddy or mommy wanted....I was bad as a little girl as well. Hockered into someone's hair. Put a backpack in dog poo. It's just so much in 8th grade happened. And when I have to say what I did wrong...it's hard to tell dad or her that, of my "plan" to comitt suicide by starving myself to death or about scratching my arms...
You see for so long I've bottled stuff up. The bullies, neighbor posioning cats...my heart hardened. Than after 8th grade that some how got bottled up as well. For so long I've been ashamed...I just didn't realize what I've bottled up until recently. And that's how reality has hit me in the face. I've been keeping stuff bottled up so long...and the top finally came off of the bottle....
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Well, in March He let me find a story of a JW who died from refusing a blood transfusion. Her eyes got dialated...Her husband tried to give a blood transfusion on her,it was too late. I don't remember most of the story though but I remember how it effected me.
Well, I just happened to come across a red blood cell online.
The Holy Spirit knew how to open my heart and to start caring for them. He knew one of my "passions" is learning about the human body. After reading that story I wanted to help. I got the red blood cell in the mail and started learning.
In April I went to the memorial (the 5th of April). He showed me how they're in great bondage. They had spiritual chains on them...As I sat there (I didn't get many notes but got a greater lesson) He let me see alot of lost people.
Unfortuntly, I heardened my heart again later on. I found out from a sister in Christ online (former JW) how what is needed is to show them love. That helped open up a door for me.
I also remember sometime reading about Sunday Nache Achi in my 'Foxe Voices of the Martyrs' book. I had been reading the book for awhile but something about that story...the Holy Spirit did something that day.
I found some things online about JWs who have murdered...a WT article that encouraged violence (or could lead to that potentially.) Also saying apostates were "mentally diseased" or something like that. That scared me. The Holy Spirit gave me courage and comforted me. Online He let me find a book, a VOM devotional that lasts for an entire year. That really helped me out. God, thank You for Your compassion! I realize I don't need to fear their threats or insults. Psalm 27:1,Heb. 13:5-6. The brothern overseas risk themselves for the gospel. I need to have that same attitude. It doesn't matter what isults or threats they make on me. What matters the most is the gospel. Ever since that fear has left...God is just amazing at what He's doing. Someone prayed online for me to go to a church. Paula all of a sudden asked and now I go to church (out of over 2 years of knowing Christ she didn't start asking until after the person prayed). The church brought up about baptism as well. Ironically, it's 3 days before Halloween. I find that hillarious! To be a fly on the wall and to see Satan's face when he found out... :0D
He's also let me get into a group about spreading the gospel, a FaceBook group.
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Sister, I think it may be different if she asks in church. That way they have other people around to help them.
Reality has hit me in the face. When I was younger, despite it took years, I became a very harden,bitter and even started to hate people. I got to that point in 8th grade. Jesus has cleaned off my dirty wound. But, it's still opened. And it hurts to know what I did...It'll hurt even more seeing how upset my parents would be to be reminded of. They didn't find out about the scractching or of my "plan or attempt" or whatever...
You know how I said I hardened? Well, after I went to the psyacatrist/psychologist...things got quiet after I stopped going. I thought things were going fine. After all around that time things seemed to turn around. After all, I just started learning about God and Jesus (I didn't believe Jesus was God in 8th grade). I said the prayer...for atleast a year or two I thought that I was saved because of a prayer I said. I didn't even really understand about the death,burial and resurrection. I just thought since it said to say this prayer and you'll be saved.... :sighs: I later found out in 9th grade, from a brother in Christ when I was online at home,that Jesus is God. I struggled with that for quiet a long while.
Since the topic was never really brought up again, and things changed in my life (going to a new school)...8th grade was in the past.
Please remember Jesus really saved me in 2010, on May 29th. 12th grade came along. I didn't think much about witnessing to my parents,not sure why though. I had a creative writing class in 2nd period,1st Semestar. I tried to put into stories how I felt...I don't think they ever recognized that though. 12th grade went by. I graduated in May 2011.
Like 4 months later in Sept. of 2011, I tried to find help online concerning the JWs. I didn't care about the JWs. I just didn't want them involved in my or my families lives. The Holy Spirit changed that though...He was very pacient though (it took months) and gave me a heart to care for the JWs' salvation.
You may remember when I was came on here around the middle of April. I was a wreck because of the fear...So much time was spent on being scared (that's probably why I was sick for months as well. I got sick around the end of Aug,/beginning of Sept. All that worry is probably why I had a hard time getting better. Between that and self pity...)
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I understand this is spiritual though. As you can see a person is physically blind...I can see my mom's eyes are spiritually blind. Oh, God please shed the blinds from her eyes...she needs You so much to give her eternal life.
Blessings,
feetbreeze
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I know. Nothing can save us but Jesus and the blood that He shed on calvery.
My mom needs to know that though...:sighs: I was reminded last night that it's the Holy Spirit's job to convict her. I know He's taking care of it. It's just frustrating...this is where the fruitage of patience/long suffering comes in though.
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Comment by Rita Cullimore on October 6, 2012 at 4:45am
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Breeze,
Baptism is an outward sign of an inward change. That change would be salvation...belief and trust in Christ Jesus. If you were saved in 2010 but was baptized in 2008, I would recommend getting baptized again.
People have a tendency to trust their opinions of what the Bible says over what it really says. You mom seems to have that problem. Baptism doesn't save you....only trust in the Lord does that.
Blessings to you.....
Rita
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