A True Friend

*A True Friend * By: James Cook

"A friend means well even when he hurts you" (Proverbs 27:6 GN).
So often, we go through life and not really understanding just how valueable a true friend really is. But then again, we can go day to day and not be aware of what a true friend really is, and we never seem to accept those who are forthright with us. However, how many times have we accepted those who always speaks to us in such a nice way without causing any feathers to get ruffled. I must confess that I enjoy those who are pleasant, because I know that my day will be without any overt turmoil.
The next morning while having my coffee, there's a thought about the day before being incomplete. As I reminised over the previous days activities, I came to realize there was little constructive activity that could add to my Christian growth. Unable to change what is in the past, I say a prayer, open my daily Devotional book, and to my surprise, the importance of having a loyal, and honest Friendship springs off the pages. Quickly, I learn that friendships should never be taken for granted, as they are a gift from God for our spiritual progression. Thankfully, God blesses us with those friends who truly care, and when necessary they bring accountability to us, in love and in truth.
Over the years, I searched for some missing pieces within me, yet not knowing what they were in total. Hearing that God will never leave you seemed so empty, since I didn't have that element of a true friend in my life. It has always amazed me how so many will say it is just between them and God, yet live daily without having that special friend in their life. When we go back to Genesis, God created Adam and knew it wasn't good for man to be alone, so He created Eve to have that human relationship in his life. Since then, there have been various types of relationships where some have been very healthy, some missing many elements in strengthening the relationship, and some just plain destructive.
Jesus shows us that true friends build each other up when they confront the other in a loving way in truth, and that they won't waste your life in a superficial way. Proverbs 27:6 (NIV) tells us, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses". While reading this text one may wonder how can wounds from a friend be trustworthy, yet multiple kisses can come from an enemy. Now this is a statement that seems backwards, but how often have those who have given all kinds hugs and kisses really challenged you. Jesus always spoke words that could hurt, because of the truth He spoke. How can it hurt if it is done in love? Mostly because we know it's truth. Because those who truly love you wants the very best for their friend, and this reveals they care and love you for who you are in all your flaws and imperfections. To clarify, God has blessed me with a friend that defines what a true friend is all about. She has passion, enthusiasm, trustworthy, sensitivity, but most of all she cares and loves me for who I am. Furthermore, in our friendship we have given the other permission to speak into our lives, but it must be done in love and not by attacking the other, as it could bring about further complications. However, this does not mean we don't have our heated conversations. Friendships are designed by God, and it is up to us to nurture that what He has blessed us with.
Speaking truth to another is a way to help them when they get off track, but if it's done in the wrong way it can be very destructive, plus scar them for a long time. The outcome depends on the approach taken in speaking to them. Approaching someone in the wrong attitude can stimulate judgementalism instead of building them up. We all have our faults, but we also have many good things in us also. If we focus only on their faults, it can come across as condemnation, and at this time we should stop and question our motive in doing this. Do we enter into this trying to correct them for our benefit, or for theirs? Doing it for our benefit, is trying to change them or mold them to our liking, but doing it for their benefit helps them to grow into being a better person for God, and for themselves.
It is our responsibility to extend a hand to those who God has placed before us. Just as important, it is imperative to befriend them, and love them for who they are unconditionally. In short, we must be willing to bless them with our undivided attention in love, and also bless them with our affirmations. These constructive applications can activate the change needed to improve our relationships with each other, but more importantly our relationship with Christ in truth. Ephesians 4:15, says, "Speak the truth in love." In speaking truth in love to another, they will receive what they need rather than what they want or deserve. God knows the importance of having Jesus shine through us and others, as it is in this Truth and love so many are in search of. In addition, Truth brings accountability into our lives. God can and will use our friends to continue watering those truths that maybe we have let slide, because it is imperative to have them come alive again so we can build upon them with additional truths.
In conclusion, if you have a friend that God has blessed you with, give thanks to God for knowing who would be the best friend for you, because without Him you would not have that challenge to grow in Him, that only a true friend can bless you in. Secondly, give thanks to your friend for their friendship, their love, their caring, and their honesty. Encourage them to continue being obedient to God, because without their obedience you would still be short a precious gift. The gift that God has personally chosen just for you: A TRUE FRIEND.
God Bless