a learned lesson.

for nearly the past three yrs i have given my love, attention, time and energy to, who was going to be, my husband.  not much in the relationship went well. struggle after struggle and continuous repeating the cycle we fought.. made up.. etc and so forth. only a couple times did we speak with our pastor.. he said, "seek ye first the kingdom of God".  he told us to put God first and He'd take care of us.. sooo, i thought i was doing that. it wasnt until after a terrible fight.. and weeks of hysterical crying.. did i realize, i had been worshiping my [husband] and not my God. i'd put man before God and hadn't even known.  we serve a jealous God. we are to put God above everyone.

I now, am able to say.. my God is first in my life.  comes before self, before my sons, before work, friends, family and God will come before any relationship i get in from here on out. never was this intentional.. but i had become so wrapped up in life, i didnt see it happening.

lessons learned.  I hate that things had to be this way but I am so happy and so blessed that God loves me enough to show me the person i was giving my life to instead of Him.