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8 Signs You Love Legalism More Than Jesus

If you’re exhausted with legalism’s demands, you can break free, and it starts with recognizing you’re enslaved.

Growing up, Sunday mornings were dreadful. Most everyone wore suits. The preacher yelled, especially when it seemed like he had nothing to say. And the same old guy prayed marathon prayers using a host of words with more syllables than his age. Since I was too young to understand churchy vernacular, I timed his prayers instead. Sorry, God. It helped pass the time.

Maybe it’s not fair, but years of Sunday sermons painted a God who was, at least in my mind, agitated, skeptical and shallow.

After graduation, I entered a new season, away from parents and Sunday suits. By this time, I was convinced I couldn’t earn God’s love. Besides that, I hadn’t been baptized, and in my fellowship, the road to heaven passes through a small pool of water.

So, I began my new season without God (thankfully He never left me).

Behind my earliest picture of God and my eventual (though temporary) divorce was legalism. I breathed its toxic fumes from a young age. Breathe in … ”Frank, if you don’t give your life to God, you’ll go to hell. Do you want that?” Breathe out … God is an angry master. Breathe in … ”Frank, are you really going to a church outside of the Church of Christ? Do you know what they teach?” Breathe out … I’m right, everyone else is wrong.

For years, legalism distorted my perspective and desire to follow Jesus.

What is legalism? In short, legalism is adding anything to the gospel. Legalism takes the words “Follow me” and adds stipulations, clauses and barriers. It’s a facade, and, over time, you believe its lies. The ultimate lie being the simplicity of the gospel isn’t good enough.

Legalism shifts the end goal from Jesus to something else. Legalism doesn’t care where you focus, anything but the risen Savior will do. And, it inevitably turns God into an agitated old man, skeptical about anything that breathes.

If you’re exhausted with legalism’s demands, you can break free. It won’t be easy or quick. I’m still fighting for freedom. But you can break the chains, and it starts with recognizing you’re enslaved.

Here are eight signs you’re trapped in legalism.

1.) You believe God loves you. But you don’t believe He LIKES you.

If you painted God’s face right now, what would it look like? Is he smiling? Is he frustrated? For most of my life, I pictured God with a “Lee Trevino in Happy Gilmore” face. It was a slow, disapproving, puzzled head shake.

Don’t get me wrong. I believed God loved me. But I didn’t believe he LIKED me.

And we all know loving someone and liking them are two different things. When you like someone, you enjoy their presence. You welcome their company. You ask them over to watch the Super Bowl or go to the movies. You take selfies with them.

And here’s what legalism knows but won’t tell you. As long as you don’t believe God likes you, you won’t draw near to Him. Legalism never allows you full access to God’s presence. At some point, the “I’m not good enough” or “God isn’t pleased with me” voices will speak to your heart, forcing you to retract.

If you’re a Christian, God doesn’t look at you with a “Lee Trevino in Happy Gilmore” face. God is pleased with you. And, unlike most of us, God isn’t fickle. When you suck at life, his disposition doesn’t change. You can blame Jesus for this. Way to go Jesus. No, seriously. Way to go.

You see, when God sees you, He sees Jesus. Check out Colossians 3:3.

“For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”

The cross says Gods favor is on you. God likes you! Rest. In. Him.

2.) You have never been sure about your salvation.

“If you died tonight, where would you go (heaven or hell)?” If I heard this question once, I heard it … well … once. After the first time, I placed imaginary muffs over my ears. While I’m not denying the question has sincerely brought people to Jesus, it uses unhealthy fear as the entry point to Jesus. And that’s … unhealthy.

Don’t misunderstand me. You must fear God to experience life in God. But the question above isn’t about fearing God. It’s about fearing hell. This was my entry point to Jesus. And, for years, I thought more about not spending eternity in hell than spending eternity with God.

Years later, here’s what I realized. It’s entirely possible to run away from hell and not run to God.

Again, legalism doesn’t care where you focus as long as you don’t focus on Jesus. Focus on hell, go ahead. Yeah, God saves you from hell. But legalism knows you can’t focus on hell and sustain a relationship with God.

Here’s the irony.

I’m afraid if I asked many Christians where they would go tonight if they died, they might say heaven, but they wouldn’t be entirely sure. They might even tell you they’re sure, but if you asked their heart, you would receive a different answer.

I say this because, as a recovering legalist, I struggled with salvation for years. I thought (kinda, maybe) my salvation was secure. But, in the back of my mind, I wasn’t sure. In reality, my salvation was only as secure as the present day’s actions.

But slowly, Jesus changed my heart. Today, I’m learning to rest in what Jesus has done, not what I did.

Should you fear God? Absolutely. He’s infinitely powerful. But when you truly fear God, you don’t cower or run away. You draw near. As you draw near to God, terror turns to wonder, fear turns to love, shame turns to forgiveness and doubt turns to acceptance.

3.) The world’s injustices aren’t important to you.

It’s not possible to draw near to God without developing a heart for injustice and oppression. Justice is central to God’s character.

Even the commands of God reveal something deeper about his heart for justice. Here’s what Jesus says.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and Pharisees. For you are careful to tithe … but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy and faith” (Matt. 23:23).

It was never about following rules. It was always about something more. It was about justice, mercy and faithfulness.

But legalism says doing the right thing is the weightiest matter. Don’t curse. Come to church every Sunday. Don’t drink or smoke. And don’t have sex before marriage.

So, this is where legalists focus their energy. It’s behavior modification, and simply following commands doesn’t create Christ-followers. It creates Pharisees.

Where you have Christians apathetic about justice and oppression, unconcerned about widows, orphans, oppression and brokenness, you can be sure legalism has drowned out the voice of God. You can be sure following commands has become the weightiest matter. And you can be sure God, like Jesus, won’t allow it to go unchecked.

4.) You compare your righteousness to other Christians.

Legalism rarely celebrates others’ successes. It says heaven is a fixed space, and only the best get in. Life’s a competition. Second place is the first loser.

With legalism, Jesus isn’t the standard. The standard is the Christian beside you. As long as your life looks better than Jim or Jill, you’re good.

Except you’re not.

When you make heaven a competition with other Christians, you secretly hope people fail. Rather than walking with people through struggles, you give yourself a silent fist pump. Instead of celebrating with people who accomplish great things, you silently hope they fall down.

Legalism pits you against your brother or sister. It makes righteousness a competition and heaven the prize. And it leads to an exhausting life, one where you ride an emotional roller coaster because your worth and acceptance are tied to other people.

5.) You believe outsiders must behave before they belong.

This is a core requirement of legalism. There’s a particular standard, though relative and unwritten, outsiders must conform to before being accepted. Legalism says you worked hard to get to this point. You’ve been in the church game for a long time, and until others get on your level, they’re on the outside looking in.

If you don’t allow people in, whether it’s in your worship, your home or your life, you’re making a declaration over them Jesus never made. You’re declaring some sins are worse than others, and certain behaviors are too ugly or distasteful for God.

You’re also declaring yourself the standard for God’s acceptance. That’s not a weight you can bear. Eventually, it will crush you.

6.) Your private life doesn’t match your public life.

Legalism loves an audience. To the world, you’re an amazing Christian. You know the words. The lingo comes second nature. But away from the crowds, you’re “slightly” less than amazing (and by “slightly” I mean you’re a different person).

This was me. In high school and college, I knew when to turn it on. When the world watched, I played the Christian game. I was the guy parents wanted their daughters to date.

Away from the crowds, however, I was different. The “lights off” Frank battled pornography, lust, envy and bitterness. He was self-centered and greedy. I knew God saw through my facade. But I was more concerned with putting on a show.

If this is you, understand a lesson I learned the hard way. Who you are in private will inevitably be revealed in public. Legalism won’t tell you this, but it’s true. What you do when the crowd leaves is who you are. And you can only put on makeup and costumes so long before life exposes what’s underneath.

If your private life doesn’t match your public life, it’s likely legalism has shifted your focus from God’s holiness to others’ acceptance. You won’t fool the world forever. And you’ll never fool God.

7.) You believe in joy and peace, but you’ve never experienced them.

Legalism allows you to see God, but it never allows you to swim in the ocean of his grace, joy and peace. Legalism doesn’t care if you worship God, read the Bible or pray. But it’s not cool with those things drawing you closer to God.

The church today is filled with men and women who are deeply spiritual, but incredibly distant from God.

I know this from experience. For several years after becoming a Christian, I read the Bible every day. Seriously, I didn’t miss a day. I also prayed every day. I had perfect church attendance. But I was light years from God.

If your spiritual activities aren’t bearing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, you’re likely on the road to spiritual legalism. When you’re in God’s presence, you WILL bear the Spirit’s fruit (Galatians 5:22).

If you’re a follower of Jesus, you should be increasing in joy. You should have increasing peace. This is the ONLY result of being in God’s presence. But, if legalism has enslaved you, increasing joy will be replaced by increasing skepticism toward people and hostility toward God.

Is your heart increasing in joy and peace or cynicism and unrest? Is your perspective on life optimistic? Does God appear more like a grumpy old man or a life-giving Father?

8.) You only participate in Christian activities with other Christians.

Numerous times in his short ministry, Jesus was called a “friend of sinners.” But he wasn’t called this by everyone. Only religious Christians used this phrase. You see, it’s the ones who grew up in church, gathered years of information, but never allowed the information to pave a road to Jesus who are in danger of legalism.

And, consequently, in danger of missing Jesus.

Many Christians make separating from “sinners” their primary mission, and legalism allows you to justify it. Protecting your children from sinful people and activities makes sense. Legalism says if someone discovers you at the bar or hears you invited a prostitute over for dinner, you will be labeled. And God can’t work through a stained reputation. So separate from evil sinners. Protecting your reputation is a stewardship issue.

Don’t listen to the lies.

What message are Christians sending when they attend Christian schools, sign their kids up for Christian activities and only have Christian friends?

Reaching the lost is difficult inside a bubble.

God knows you can’t live up to his standard. You sin every day. So do I. He doesn’t condemn you. He’s for you. Breaking free from the shackles of legalism takes time. But you must start somewhere. Embrace the simplicity of the gospel. Rest in the security of your salvation. Jesus has accomplished everything. It is finished.

I love you all. To God be the glory forever. Amen!

Frank Powell

Frank Powell serves in the Campbell Street Church of Christ in Jackson, Tenn., ministering to college-age and young adults.

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Comment by Carla on April 6, 2016 at 9:00pm: Yes.. It's a horrible place. My husband and I travelled there many years ago... I was there just months before I surrendered to the Lord. It also bothered me then, but for different reasons.

Comment by Tammy on April 6, 2016 at 8:52pm: You hear all of the horror stories about Vegas but actually being there is jaw dropping or at least, it was for me. I know I've said this a good bit but I was raised in the South in the Bible Belt. Very conservative Christians. So, coming up close & personal with that type of deterioration in our society is a culture shock. Small vans would drive by that advertised prostitutes. They didn't even need to troll the streets. They had ads on sides of vehicles - phone number, everything. One guy that was peddling held a sign "Need Money For Drugs". I thought, "Well, at least he's honest about it." I swore I would never return. I literally got mad. I was surprised at the mixed emotions that rose up in me.

Comment by Carla on April 6, 2016 at 7:34pm: I love the colourfulness of their different personalities. Parenting is rewarding and challenging all in the same breathe. :-)

My heart breaks when I think of Las Vegas.... because it is a major gateway and location for human trafficking. In 2015 94% of the victims were between the ages of 14 and 17. 72% were from Nevada. 98% are female, and 2% are male. I can't even fathom how terrifying and horrific that life would be....

Comment by Tammy on April 6, 2016 at 6:25pm: Thank you so much for sharing Carla. The way I wrote my reply, I made it sound like I was speaking of myself personally. Some of the situations are coming from a personal standpoint but not all. I agree that a child's education begins at home. I would never disagree with that. We hope & pray that the foundation we help them build will remain strong so that when they face the world & all that it holds, they won't crumble. We do our best to prepare them for hurricanes hoping that they will only face a rain storm. However, we can't dictate what another child is shown at home so the structure needs to be sound & solid.

I just didn't agree with what the author said in the last few sentences. He didn't say that as Christians, we need to venture out of our comfort zones, share the gospel & show our children how to do the same. He seems to be saying that by sending kids to a Christian school, them attending youth groups & doing Christian activities is not a great message for them. I so disagree. Just because it is a parent's deepest desire for their kids to be protected from the whacks in this world & they desire for them to be surrounded by Christians doesn't mean the message is bad. It just means they are truly looking out for their children in ways they feel is necessary. We all parent differently as you've said. I wouldn't condemn one method over another if it's working for the child. My brother has been a teacher at a Christian school all of his adult life since graduating. He is now the 'chaplain' there. He also co-pastors my home church in my home state. His children go to the school he teaches at & most, if not all, of their friends are from there or the church. Only activities they are involved with is surrounded by Christians. The sports they play are for the school or church. So, they don't get much outside contact aside from Christians or those who claim to be. My niece is 17 & that's one of the best kids you'll ever meet. Her respect & mannerism is incredible. You'd be proud to call her your daughter-in-law.

My 2 older kids went to private Christian school & they were as wild as they come. Partied like nobody's business. My 3 youngest went to public school up until this year. I now homeschool only because we moved to a different state & the schools are rated really really low in our town. Also, Tim, my husband, isn't comfortable with the gangs that are known to be in the schools in this state. All 3 have different personalities. I have one I call my preacher boy. He absolutely hates even the thought of sin or wrong doing. He doesn't like to see it on TV, nowhere. Really pure of heart. My older of the 3 youngest has a personality much like me, bless his heart. He does have a little more tenderness & compassion. He's a very loving young man. Now, the 2nd twin. How to explain my Bomb Shell? Well, I just did. He blows up wherever he goes. In other words, he makes his presence known. He is loud - which may come from me being an old Southerner. He is ADHD as well & if that young'un gets something on his mind, he don't care what he has to tear up to complete whatever project he's concocted in that brain of his. You might as well step aside & just accept that you'll be buying a new whatever. He has the most loving heart. He probably walks by, hugs me & tells me he loves me a half a dozen times a day. Give you an example of how all 3 look at life so differently: Went to Las Vegas for a couple of days. Walked around on the main boulevard. There were 2 girls naked. They were covered in body paint but they were still naked. The one son turned completely around so that he couldn't see them - preacher boy. The older of the 3 yells out SLUT!!! - like his mama. Then my firecracker looks up at me & says, "I thought they were hot!" There's a short short of my crazy family tree.

We actually haven't really hooked up with a church since moving here or I should say they haven't including daddy. I'm the only one who goes, though not consistently. This is one of our goals as a family is to get more involved & get them involved with the youth there. I know you don't live in the states but I'm sure you've heard about California. It's the most liberal state in our country & that is where we are now residing. We have Muslims all over the place. You don't go anywhere that you don't see them.

Point being that because people shelter their children only allowing Christians in their lives for the most part only sends the message of love.

I totally loved this article - Except for that tail end.

Comment by Carla on April 6, 2016 at 8:01am: Tammy,

You make a lot of good points. I think the choice to attend Christian school etc...or even home school, is really personal. Certain dynamics fit into different family circumstances and that's OK.

As you know, my husband is not a believer. My children attend public school. When my oldest son was in elementary school (now he's in grade 11), we enrolled him in a private school because we thought it would help with his dyslexia... it didn't. It was an awful experience for him riddled with being bullied and singled out for not being able to read. It was awful...he finally started to thrive when we switched over to the public school system. He learned to read in grade 5 once we made that switch. Neither of the schools taught about God, but I believe that responsibility falls on me anyway. Youth Group, Grandparents and Youth group leaders have played an important role in teaching about Jesus, but it's primarily my responsibility.

Logan (16years old) has always struggled to fit in. Partially due to his dyslexia (he learns differently than other kids do). Logan is incredibly bright. He is a very calm peaceful kid.. He's always very respectful, and teachers always comment to me how much they love having him in their classroom. One of the teaching/learning tools they use in the classroom is debates. Logan thrives and gets energized for these... They have many controversial topics they discuss, and sometimes they get heated....they are authentic because the opinions are authentic. Logan also belongs to the Christian club at his public school. He's the only student in the group, but he gets students from outside the group to volunteer with outreach. I like this because he's learning to stand for his faith in an environment when it's not popular to do so. There is a strong Muslim population in our area... The Christian club showed a movie about Jesus at the school, and some of the Muslim kids came in to watch it...this is extraordinary! Some left offended, and others stayed. Muslims don't believe that Jesus died on the cross, and they certainly don't believe HE rose back to life. Logan is learning to address Muslims in regards to who Jesus is and why HE died for us. Logan told me he's ready to be baptised....we're talking about it. I won't let him enter into it lightly.

Joshua is 12....he is in grade 7 in public school.

Joshua is a bit of a hot head... He has a temper that we are helping him learn to manage. God will use it for good...I'm convinced of it.

Joshua also attends youth group (Praise God). Joshua's peer group at school consists of school friends, youth group friends and baseball friends (he also plays baseball---already pitching up to 62mph-btw :-) ....) Anyway, I'm so pleased that his friends are a group of kids who also attend youth group, they don't play those death and sex video games, and the families are Christians who also attend the same church---except for one of the boys, his parents are not Christian, but they let their son go to youth group to be with his friends. One of Joshua's baseball buddies attends a Catholic school... we know the parents. I don't think they are 'born again' though. The kid is really a nice kid...a real sweet heart, but I don't think they understand the magnitude of who Jesus is and what He has done for us. God has bonded these two boys for something...perhaps it's so Joshua will tell KJ about Jesus in a deeper way. KJ is probably one of Joshua's best friends.

I guess the point is----God is on the Move. Your decisions for how to raise, protect your children etc...work for your family. They might not work for everyone. Logan and Joshua are growing up in an environment that is safe and also in conflict over faith. Jesus brings peace, but He also brings conflict (Matthew chapter 10).

I don't think it's about hanging out with sinners as much as it is about being trained on how to stand strong in the face of conflict. Sure Jesus is a friend of sinners, and that's all of us... The difference with a Christian is that we're washed clean by the blood of Christ. I want them to be safe....But we know that in God's hands they are safe. Just as Abraham handed Isaac over to God, we must do the same with our kids. When they come home we have great conversations... Remember I told you how Logan loves to debate, he tells me about his debating adventures almost daily. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for each of them.

Comment by Tammy on April 6, 2016 at 1:03am: Well, this article was awesome up until one of the last paragraphs. I first want to say before I express my disagreement that I may be taking his words differently than he means it.

What message are Christians sending when they attend Christian schools, sign their kids up for Christian activities and only have Christian friends? Is he really serious? So, I'm not suppose to send my kids to a Christian private school where they have the Word with their studies, where they memorize Scripture & have chapel a couple of times a week? Is it wrong of me to want to protect my children from the evil vile world by creating their structure in a more Christ-like environment? Am I suppose to apologize for desiring my kids to be more protected in a drug-free, gang-free, Christian community? I'm not naive. I do know drugs can be found in Christian schools as well but nowhere close to public schools.

Is it wrong that I want them to go to Christian activities & not to the local block party where alcohol is as common as a Coca-Cola? Should I not allow them to intermingle with other Christian kids their own age where the influence of drugs & such are a small percentage in comparison? Should I not let them have peers whose parents share the same views as I do? Should I encourage them instead to hang out with the bully or the dude who has been suspended 3 times or the chick down the road who has gotten in trouble already for marijuana?

Yes, Jesus hung out with sinners but He was a grown man & He Was God. My kids are far from being grown & even further from being God. So, while they are still growing, I choose to protect them as much as possible. I choose to pick their peers as well as their activities. I will protect them for as long as I'm healthy & able. When they are grown, then they can choose if they want to be the friend of sinners. But, for now, it's my choice & I choose God to be their influence in life.

Comment by Leonard T on March 23, 2016 at 8:08pm: Sadly it is a battle or praise the Lord you have seen the light and smelled the fresh air of liberty ... in reality it is both, but the focus must be on the end game and all that is yours in Him.

Comment by Leonard T on March 22, 2016 at 5:30pm: Carla,

Good word.

Amanda,

For many, depending on how influenced by legalism they have been in their life, it is a long journey that requires a rewriting of most of what they have believed. Even after years often one will find that there are still remnants that have not been uncovered or driven out. Yes, there are some who find quick healing, but for others it is a long journey, but a journey worth taking regardless of the struggle or the frustration of it all. You must know that there is freedom and it is worth experiencing at all cost.