Pain

So, here I sit in my livingroom at the end of the day, computer in front of me and a cold beer to my right.
I am not a drinker, never have been, have looked down on those who are drinkers, but recently, since the end of April, I have begun having a few sips of alcohol in the evening to "take the edge off".

A year ago, I was rushing off to the last performance of the Edmonton ballet, opera and orchestra, a performance with the three entities I was not about to miss. I was in my best heels on the icy street and not watching where I was walking, I went down on my bottom, hitting hard.
I was helped up by a few good Samaritans and my extremely pregnant daughter, who had bought the tickets for my birthday, and limped my way to the car, not knowing what was more bruised, my backside or my ego.
I sat through 3 glorious hours of lights, dancing and music, only acknowledging then, at the end of the performance as I attempted to stand up, that I may have hurt myself when I fell.
I made an agonizing 3 hour drive home as I refused to go to the emerg. department in the city and saw a dr. in the e.r in my home town.
For the next 7 months, I perched on the sofa, moving as little as possible as I had cracked my sacrum, the large bone between my hips.
I was put on pain meds and was given strict instructions to heal, heal, heal.

I fell into a depression as I had to cancel every fun and exciting activity I had planned for the summer, with my first skydiving jump with my sister and my son-in-law being on the top of the list.
I had put back on the pounds I had worked so hard and diligently to work off that winter, looking great in a bikini for the first time in my chubby life.
I was miserable!!
At the end of the 7 months, I was given the go ahead to begin physio, get back to yoga (which I truly missed and discovered I couldn't do any of the exercises as I was still too sore), and my tredmill.

My dr. sent me for x-rays which showed that I now have two ruptured discs in my back, then on to the pain clinic for cortisone shots, which, to my relief, the 6 shots in my spine made all the difference! I was able to "get back to the land of the living" once again.
I had to go back to the clinic every 3 months for more shots, but I could do that, if it means staying out of pain.
To finish this long tale of woe, I was back at the clinic the end of April as the first shots had worn off and the pain was back and had 8 shots this time. The shots actually have caused me to be in more pain than I can handle!
I have only once been in more pain than I am now and that was when I was in labor for 4 days with my "Frank breech" second baby, only then, I knew the pain was not forever and I had a beautiful baby in my arms. The meds my dr. put me on don't touch the pain, so I began to supplement them with Tylenol and alcohol.
I know the combination is not good for me. I have spoken to a health care specialist and was told a few sips of beer won't hurt. I am actually able to sleep now.
So now, instead of running after my 7 grandchildren, and enjoying life with my husband of 28 years, I spend my days laying on my side on the sofa watching old movies, wondering if I will ever again be able to walk without pain.