College

In two and a half weeks I am suppose to move into the dorms at Tabor College. A great Mennonite Brethren college. I am M.B. and it just fells right to me to be going there. but nothing has gone right yet. Its private so its expensive and out of state for me, so that makes it even more expensive. I got a few grants and scholarships from the school but I still need to cover about half of the costs. I have been turned down time after time for loans and my mother refuses to co-sign a loan with me. I found a federal grant for 4000 that will help so much but the online forms are not working right and my financial aid person is being very slow in getting things fixed so I can get that grant. I have found a last solution with my Nanny (grandma). She is going to let me access some bonds that are part of my inheritance if I can not come up with any other way to pay for college but first I have to exhaust all other options. I hope my mom will fill out the forms needed for me to be able to get a loan without a cosigner.

But even though my plans are crashing down around me. I still know that God will be there. and even though I might not be able to go to college this semester, I know that if Tabor is where I am suppose to be God will make it happen.

So even though I know all this...why cant I trust God wholeheartedly? why am I doubting Him and relying on myself for answers that should be coming from Him?