10 Ways To Be A Good Husband --By Cory H.

The one year anniversary of A Good Husband came and went without much fanfare (first post here). This has been a modest project by any measurement, but I am glad that it has been met with well wishes by so many of you. For the next few days, until after the New Year, I want to share with you some of the best posts from the last year.

10 Ways to Be A Good Husband was the first post that hit it big on Stumbleupon, and still gets a lot of search traffic. It’s also the most popular post for people who are looking through the archives. Here’s the post.

1. Respect the Sanctity of Marriage

Put your marriage first. Whether you are religious or not, some things are just sacred. Marriage is very near the top of the list of sacred things. Society is built on successful families and successful families are built on a bedrock foundation of trust, love and fidelity. If every man in the world would treat his marriage like it was the most important thing in the world, above his career, friends, and hobbies, then so much of society’s problems would be solved.

2. Be Her Sounding Board

Listen to what your wife has to say. Sometimes she needs to talk to someone and that doesn’t necessarily mean she needs you to fix it. This has always been a difficult thing for me to do. Sometimes instead of having a problem fixed, women just want someone to listen to them so they can talk it out and work it out in their own minds and hearts. She might ask for suggestions or thoughts, but sometimes what she really wants is just a sounding board.

3. Show Respect and Withhold Judgement

Most likely (HOPEFULLY!) you respected your wife’s intelligence and capabilities when you married her. You should continue to do that. Women want to feel respected and cherished. They want to feel safe. If your wife makes a suggestion that you disagree with or find unreasonable, try asking her what she means, and do it in as kind a tone as possible. You might find that behind her unreasonable suggestion is a little nugget of wisdom that you did not recognize.

4. Know When to Make it About You

Every marriage should be built on the premise of making it about your spouse first. There are times, however, when an individual’s needs must be met before they can be capable of helping others. If you are really upset about something, don’t just bury it under manly silence. Tell her about it and ask for her help. Most wives will be more than glad to listen and care about you. You are not less of a man if you need help with a problem every once in a while, or if you just need to blow off a little steam. Indeed, I would say that most wives appreciate it a great deal when their husbands really open up to them about what’s troubling them.

5. Word Hard and Work Smart

Women are attracted to men who are able providers, protectors, and nurturers. They want a man who can and will be an able partner in life. It is fulfilling for a man to work hard and succeed at whatever he does. if the job requires more time than originally estimated, if it’s more strenuous than originally thought, a Good Husband will gird up his loins and redouble his efforts. Of course, working long and difficult hours when you don’t have to is less than effective. Think about what you’re doing and whether it’s actually worth it. Is there a better way to get it done? Can it be more efficient? Good Husbands use their intellect as well as their brawn.

6. Be A Leader

Do you have something you believe in? Do you hold to your convictions no matter what? If so, these are admirable traits in a man. I’m not talking about being obstinate or obtuse, I mean standing up for what’s right and convincing others to do the same. There is a whole industry built around learning how to lead, but let me just say this: if more men would take the time to help those who need a little direction, the world would be a better place.

7. Be Affectionate

Admit it. You like cuddling just a little bit. No? Fake it. Women need to feel loved and cared about. Give her a little pat when you walk by, compliment her when she’s doing some task, give her a kiss before you walk out the door. If you don’t know what kind of affection makes your wife happy, then I suggest you read The Five Love Languages. That book will show you how to find out what each of you needs in a relationship to communicate love and affection.

8. Care About Her Well Being

Not all of you will have to live with having a spouse who is chronically ill, but you will have to deal with illness, injury, and emotional distress. You should care about how your wife is feeling. She is delicate and sensitive. She needs to be cared for and it is your responsibility to do so. In addition to general health concerns, women feel better when they are allowed to be beautiful. Pamper her. I remember when I first got married and found out how much makeup and hair products cost. I almost went through the roof, but then I realized that it makes my wife happy, which in turn makes me happy.

9. Be Generous and Fair

I take care of the family finances in our household and I always make sure that my wife has some money. Whoever takes care of the money in your house, make sure that your wife is cared for and not deprived. Buy her treats and presents. Be liberal with your household budget and trust that she will be careful with the hard earned money. It’s amazing what a woman can do with a home when she is allowed free reign with decorating and arranging.

10. Think Like a Team

However you have worked out your roles within the household, whether one works and one stays home with the kids, or both work, you are a team working towards a common goal. Do you have goals? My wife and I sit down each Sunday afternoon and have family counsel. We talk about our plans for the week, how we can help each other, any business that needs to be discussed, and then we share at least 3 three things we like about each other. It usually takes about 30 minutes but it’s an integral part of our marriage.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How To Be A Christian Husband-
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Step1You can't be a Christian husband if you aren't a Christian. If you aren't a Christian yet then attend some church services and talk to some people who have already given their lives to Christ. When you're ready, accept Jesus as your personal savior and if the denomination you choose to follow requires baptism then get that done too.
Step2Know what Scriptures say. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Christ loved the church so much that he gave up his life in order to save everyone else. While it is true that a Christian man is called to be the head of the household, you must keep in mind that you are to strive to be as Christ-like in your dealings with your wife and family as possible. Love your wife, honor your family, and make good decisions for everyone involved.
Step3As a Christian husband and father you should turn to God often to seek guidance and strength. The best way to do this is through prayer and reading the Bible. Make sure that your wife and children understand that this is how you make decisions for the family, and that your decisions are designed to do what is best for the family in the eyes of God.
Step4You should be a good example to your wife, your children, and the people around you. As a Christian husband you represent your family and the church, and if you are spending your weekends in a drunken stupor then you're certainly not portraying a very good representation of a Christian husband. Being a husband is a big responsibility, but with the help of the Bible you can be the kind of husband a woman is proud to be married to.
Step5Forgive the problems of your wife and family as you would want them to forgive you. Humans sin. Since you are called to be Christ-like in your actions as a husband then remember that Christ forgave everyone for their sins. This is certainly not to say that you should allow yourself to be treated like a doormat by your wife, but you should keep in mind that there is not one person on this planet who is perfect. By forgiving others, you may receive forgiveness when you seek it.