All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Defacto Relationships (living together and not married)
Im posting this because i think it may help people who are in a De-facto Relationship (living together not married).
As one who is in a De-facto relationship myself and we have children I think we must look at all the Bible says about the matter (and not our own man made opinions) after all it is the Law.
First lets look at what the Law says:-
1 Corinthians 7
9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
(this passage is not saying separate them and force them to contain themselves.)
The TRUTH is that the final outcome of a Defacto relationship must be marriage. My partner and I intend to get married this is the key difference between the two matters of fornication and defacto relationships. Also fornication seems to be more of a uncommitted frolic of human pleasure.
The next thing I look at is when we are called to God in or current state of a defacto relationship does he expect us to leave our home, our children, and separate in order to marry rite away which could ultimately destroy our families!!! I think not. (remember all we have is given to us by God including our CURRENT relationships and children)
1 Corinthians 7
18Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
24Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
Is this not saying you are called to God in your current state, Defacto or married?
28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.Ok , so now we have seen that there are passages which reflect this current state of confusion in such a matter. Bless God for making sure all our needs are met in the truth of the Bible. In closing defacto relationships only acceptable AS LONG, I repeat, AS LONG as the intention to marry is carried out as per the above passage states and we were in them when we were called to God.
I need to make it clear here that is you are single and called to God, you then know the TRUTH and must marry first you don’t go out and make yourself a Defacto relationship.
As one who is in a De-facto relationship myself and we have children I think we must look at all the Bible says about the matter (and not our own man made opinions) after all it is the Law.
First lets look at what the Law says:-
1 Corinthians 7
9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
(this passage is not saying separate them and force them to contain themselves.)
The TRUTH is that the final outcome of a Defacto relationship must be marriage. My partner and I intend to get married this is the key difference between the two matters of fornication and defacto relationships. Also fornication seems to be more of a uncommitted frolic of human pleasure.
The next thing I look at is when we are called to God in or current state of a defacto relationship does he expect us to leave our home, our children, and separate in order to marry rite away which could ultimately destroy our families!!! I think not. (remember all we have is given to us by God including our CURRENT relationships and children)
1 Corinthians 7
18Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
24Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
Is this not saying you are called to God in your current state, Defacto or married?
28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.Ok , so now we have seen that there are passages which reflect this current state of confusion in such a matter. Bless God for making sure all our needs are met in the truth of the Bible. In closing defacto relationships only acceptable AS LONG, I repeat, AS LONG as the intention to marry is carried out as per the above passage states and we were in them when we were called to God.
I need to make it clear here that is you are single and called to God, you then know the TRUTH and must marry first you don’t go out and make yourself a Defacto relationship.
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Comment
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Comment by Leonard T on February 2, 2009 at 7:58pm
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The question has not changed. Is sex outside of marriage sin?
Whether you choose to marry or not. Whether you choose to put it off or not is totally up to you. Whether you wish to come into alignment with God's Word regarding this subject is up to you.
The concept of changing later is two fold. 1) When the Lord empowers a person to overcome sin and win the victory by coming into alignment with Him. 2) Being enlightened to what sin is. One cannot know what sin is and then just shrug it off because the time is not right.
A family does not need to be torn apart, but can be guided by God and truly blessed for seeking to follow His plan. Who said that you had to separate? Can two people live in the same house and adhere to abstinence until the time of marriage? Cohabitation is not the issue.
You assume somethings of me that are not true, but I can live with that. My object here is not to cause you to get married or not, but to present what God's Word says about the main issue in this blog. I again repeat, the main point here is focusing on what is sin according to God regarding this subject.
LT
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Comment by Barbara on February 2, 2009 at 7:35pm
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What would be the point of going to Christ in your current state if not to change it in the future?. Otherwise we would be perfect as soon as we are saved. No we continue in that state until we are fully transformed this never happens overnight God is more concerned with how well we grow not how fast we do it. God regards marriage as scared therefore those who enter into it must be fully prepared for it, its not about how quickly their local Church can arrange for them to get married. You cannot use drunkenness in this case as an example, its not a loving family being torn apart ITS NOT the same at all. You truly are taking what I’m saying out of context and it is people like you who destroy loving families by forcing people to enter into a marriage before they have first seeked the Kingdom of God . The end result of this is broken families, lost loved ones people leaving the Church and heartbroken children but most of all Adultery and failed marriages. It is not lawful to baptize unless one has fully excepted Christ. Why, therefore do you think its best for families who have children together to tear apart and have mum and dad separated because they have just been saved?. God wants loving families together and if YOU ARE IN A CURRNET STATE of a de-facto relationship then marriage is your next step NOT separation. Therefore you can see who serious they are one goes to prepare for marriage the others separate or never return to the Church. God is not a destroyer of loving families but rather a builder of them. And I’m certainly not condoning fornication AS YOU SAY but rather we are entitled to plan our weddings so they are planned BY US and not by people like you who rush the Bride down the isle so fast that her head spins.
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Help me with this logic. It is not important to come out of sin when I come to Christ as Savior as long as I intend to change that in the future at some point?
Following this logic will then lead one to accept the following:
If I am a alcoholic and come to Christ, I do not need to stop getting drunk as long as I intend to stop some day? It is only sin if I don't intend to stop.
If I am a thief and come to Christ, I do not need to stop stealing as long as I intend to stop some day? It is only sin if I don't intend to stop.
If I am in a homosexual relationship and come to Christ, I do not need to cease the sin or separate as long as I intend to some day? It is only sin if I don't intend to stop.
If I am sexually immoral and come to Christ, I do not need to cease the immorality as long as I intend to get married some day? It is only sin if I don;t intend to get married.
Regarding the law of the land and God's Law. The law of the land does not trump the law of God. In the U.S. there is no law against getting drunk at home, but God calls drunkenness sin. In the U.S. one can openly be homosexual, but God calls it sin. Sex outside of marriage is never condoned or overlooked. God's Word calls it sin.
Ultimately "Sex" outside of marriage is the issue here and God calls it sin.
Below is the definition of "Fornication" from 1 Bible dictionary and 1 secular dictionary.
FORNICATION (Heb. zanah, Gr. porneia). Used in the KJV for unlawful sexual intercourse of an unwed person (e.g., 1 Cor 6:9, 18; Eph 5:3-4). It is to be distinguished from adultery, which has to do with unfaithfulness on the part of a married person, and from rape, which is a crime of violence and without the consent of the person sinned against.
for·ni·ca·tion ( fôr”n¹-k³“sh…n) n. 1. Sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other.
What you are attempting to do is justify sin. The Word of God does not support your view.
From the Nave's Topical Bible: FORNICATION Instructions concerning illicit sexual intercourse (Ac 15:20, 29; 21:25; 1Co 5:1; 6:13, 18; 7:2). More specifically and primarily unlawful intercourse of an unwed person (Mt 15:19; Mk 7:21; 1Co 6:9, 18; Gal 5:19).
May I ask, if you see it as wrong for a Christian to enter into that relationship why would you see it as OK to stay in that relationship as a Christian waiting for some day? Why the wait? If it is not sin, then there would be no need to ever change.
LT
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Sorry, in Australia it is a relationship that is entered into by two people long-term who are committed to each other (only) without being married. Also in Australia the same Laws as a Marriage apply to a De-facto relationship in regards to separation and property division.
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Can you define "Defacto" for us?
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