Lord, Take It Away From Me!

Last May 22 this year, I prayed to the Lord seeking for his will in my family. I remember when I was still single, every time my emotion got attach to a girl, when at home, I knelt before the Lord praying, "Lord if this woman is your will for me, let the feeling grow and have its way but if not, take it away from me." I did that I think for at least four times and every time I prayed like that, I felt a relief. The feeling was gone and I assumed that I haven't found yet the girl for me. 

Remembering that practice in prayer, I prayed last May 22, "Lord if it is your will for my family to be restored, heal all the painful memories but if not take the feeling for her once and for all." But after prayer, there was no relief like I used to experience when I was still single. I was confused. Why the Lord did not answer me the way he answered me before? Maybe my prayer was self-centered. My only concern is for deliverance from my pain. 

Last night, I stumbled with my old book written by Arthur W. Pink. The book is about the prayers of the apostle Paul. I surveyed the Table of Contents and found one chapter that caught my interest. The title of the chapter is "Prayer in Affliction" based on 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. 

The passage is very familiar to me. That was the text I used to preach for the first time in our seminary chapel service. Senior students after one year internship were required to return to the seminary to preach before our graduation ceremony. That was in 1991 when I finished my Bachelor of Theology.

After 20 years, the Lord brought the passage back to me through Arthur W. Pink. The Lord wants to show something to me. He wants me to understand why he did not answer my prayer as I expected.

The apostle Paul was praying for his thorn in the flesh to be taken away from him. The Lord did not answer the prayer of the apostle Paul as he expected but the Lord gave an answer better than what the apostle Paul expected. The Lord said that his grace was sufficient for the apostle Paul.  

Paul's thorn was both a gift from the Lord and a messenger of Satan to torment him. Perhaps, Satan's aim was to disqualify apostle Paul from his ministry but the Lord overruled Satan's intention and made Paul more effective in his ministry. The Lord sent such a "gift" to prevent Paul from conceit due to his extraordinary spiritual experiences. The thorn was intended for his good. Through his thorn in the flesh, Paul learned to delight in his weaknesses and thereby experienced the resting of Christ's power upon him. The Lord intended that through Paul's thorn, his name will be honored and glorified. 

Various conjectures are given by bible scholars as to the exact nature of Paul's thorn in the flesh. For me, it is safe to say that we have no idea as to the precise nature of this thorn. Concerning the relevance of Paul's thorn to contemporary believers, this is what Arthur W. Pink has to say: "Whatever in our persons or our circumstances serves to mortify our pride may be regarded as our 'thorn in the flesh' ".

Then I reflected on my personal situation. I think, maybe, the reason why the Lord did not take my pain as I expected is because this is "my thorn." The Lord wants to prevent me from pride due to my spiritual experiences, having a beautiful wife, and my education. He wants me to delight and boast in my weaknesses. He wants his power to rest on me. He wants that my pain will bring honor to his name.

In Luke 14:25-33, Jesus himself said that a person can never be his disciple if that person will not love him above all, will not carry his cross, and will not give up his all. Commenting on this cross, John Calvin affirms that its form may vary. It can be in a form of "disgrace, poverty, bereavement, disease or other afflictions." Martin Luther said, there are three things that make a powerful preacher: supplication, meditation, and affliction. I lack the last one - affliction. David learned the same way. He said, "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees" (Psalm 119:71).

The apostle Paul championed the message of the sufficiency of God's grace in Christ. He knew it both by theory and by experience. He knew by experience the sufficiency of the grace of Christ both in his conversion in Damascus and in delighting in his thorn. I lack that experience. 

Photo Reference:

http://www.profimedia.com/picture/thorn-in-the-flesh/0072031230/