Marilyn Palmer's Blog – October 2011 Archive (9)

Situation: 

When my husband and I got married, I was debt free and my credit was good.

My husband’s credit was not good, he could not put utilities into his name, he had defaulted on a student loan, he had not paid back his mom for debt from his previous marriage, and he had back taxes due that I found out about several years since our marriage. 

When we got married, everything went into my name including utilities, vehicles and the purchase of our home.

We are…

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I hate Mondays.  It’s a day that I have to reflect on what happened on August 21, 2011.  That was the day my world was rocked and nothing has been the same since.  On August 21^st, I was arrested.  My husband and I had been fighting and after he called me names, I triggered and I slapped him which resulted in him hitting me, me falling to the ground, breaking dishes out of the open dishwasher and just crumbling.   At my request, my stepson called the police and I was the one that…

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Good Morning Father,

First, I just want to praise you and thank you for your unconditional love, mercy and grace.  In this world, we don't get those things as you give.  I praise you Lord!

 

Yesterday was a better day than Thursday evening.  I thank you for your Word and being able to fellowship with others while studying your Word!  It helps me to keep my eyes focused on you rather than the issues at hand.  Lord, at Celebrate Recovery last night I heard Karen's…

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I am so angry right now and I don't want to be.  I decided I was willing to have dinner with my husband and after getting through that we took our granddaughter (1 year old) to the park.  I moved about 40 minutes away when we separated and I live only a few minutes from my work.  My husband tells me how he doesn't like my church and how the town I'm in is the worst place he has ever lived.  He then after awhile calls me a *itch and I am just so frustrated.  He says how hurt he is and how I'm… Continue

Dear Heavenly Father,

I truly do want my marriage to succeed but I do know I have a fear inside of me and I really think it’s because I’m afraid of all the bad happening again that I fear the hope of making it happen.  I really am praying to hear you Lord!  I don’t want to push Tim away nor do I want to pull away.  I know fear isn’t from you and I do understand that.  Here’s what I do know and accept as truth:

-          Neither Tim or I truly want a divorce

-         …

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Dear Heavenly Father,

I am struggling.  I don’t feel good and this cold seems to be getting the best of me which fogs my mind so I know that’s part of this.  I am so afraid inside right now.  I’m afraid to try to make my marriage work and afraid not to.  I don’t want to go through a divorce but I can’t go on the way it was.  I am realizing how much I run.  I met with my counselor today and I feel like I have even more questions than answers because I feel like I’m so lost.  I am…

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I had a vacation day today to spend some time with my son who was visiting.  I am having a really hard time today.  Nothing is it's normal.  I'm not living in my home with my husband, my son is spending time with him and his step-brother and I just feel alone today.  I spent a couple of hours with him and went by my house and I just can't seem to be ok being there.  I'm really angry about why I am out of the home and I am very, very hurt.   August 21st changed my life and I can't keep thinking… Continue

This is unknown territory for me.  I am doing the "whatever it takes" to break a cycle and that has resulted in me moving out with at least a 1 year lease.  I would say that even this step to not just give up and file for divorce is going to have it's challenges but I am so praying that God will heal my marriage.  We both are broken from our first marriage and our childhoods.  We have four children between us and we do really well parenting together.  The problem is we both react to each…

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It's been quite a weekend but a good one.  Six weeks ago, I separated from my husband and in doing so my goal has been to break a cycle.  This is going to be a very long journey because we are both broken from a previous marriage yet neither of us want our marriage to fail.  There has been very little contact after he finally understood I need some space for healing.  On Saturday, I felt the Lord leading me to attend church (our church has both Saturday evening and Sunday services to accomodate… Continue