Johnny

Male

Lisburn

United Kingdom

Profile Information:

Gender

Male

Country (not County)

Northern Ireland

My story with God

When I was growing up neither of my parents were Christian although they always tried to bring us up with the correct values. I heard the Gospel from my grandparents on my mothers side although it really didn't make much sense to me as I was probably too young to understand it. As I grew up I used to often contemplate God and where everything came from and wonder if there was any purpose to it all. Although I never mentioned anything to anyone because my friends might think I was weird! So I just tried to eliminate such thoughts and grew up like most kids in the UK. Going to school and hanging about with my friends. Getting in to some trouble, drinking, smoking etc. Only after I got married did I hear the full undiluted gospel in the whitewell metropolitan tabernacle in Belfast. We had seen the pastor being interviewed on TV and I remember his exact words "If you are not the sort of person who usually goes to church we would love you to visit us. No matter who you are or where you are from, you will be welcome here." Still being curious about God I asked my wife Sheree if she would come with me on Sunday just to check it out. She agreed and after attending the Church for quite a few weeks we both yielded to the holy spirit and came to the Lord. We were Baptised in water and walked with God for a several years and during that time our son Matthew was born. A lot of things happened over the following years and I would not have the space to write them all down here, but to cut a long story short Matthew was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder, we both slowly began to backslide (the enemy is so subtle you hardly even notice at first) I began drinking heavily and eventually we were separated. I was diagnosed with cancer but even then my heart had become so hard that I no longer wanted to know about the gospel. I reckoned that if the gospel was true then no way could these disasters come unto me. (Don't neglect the book of Job!) I did however make one sincere attempt to call on God the night before my operation when I was convinced beyond all doubt that I would soon be dead. But it appeared that the Lord had truly left me and I can not begin to describe the emptiness and dread that I felt. I was not afraid of the operation, or the pain that would come as the disease spread through me in the future. I was afraid of what would become of Matthew without me, but most of all I was absolutely terrified of going into a lost eternity. After the operation I was told that I would have to go for chemotherapy, But after tests I was told that they could not find any trace of the disease! However after my operation I carried on with my lifestyle of drinking and partying because I thought that God had abandoned me and I still only had a short time left as my consultant did warn me that because of the aggressive nature of the cancer that I had it was extremely likely that it would re-occur over the next couple of years. (That was 9 years ago and I am now officially cured) But a lot of things happened over the next year of so and Sheree and I got back together and slowly began to rebuild our life together and to care for Matthew. I was however still very far from God and had become involved in various organisations that basically revolved around sectarianism, football and alcohol. Then just over two years ago I was out for a stroll on my lunch break and I was contemplating my situation. About how I had been blessed with everything, lost absolutely everything and then got it all back again, when the question "what are you going to do about Jesus?" popped into my head. I tried to ignore it, but every lunchtime when went for a walk the same thing happened. It would not go away. I had to decide, was Jesus a Liar, a Lunatic or Lord? Finally I made up my mind to start with a blank sheet and investigate one last time with a view to dismissing not only Christianity but God in general. The strange thing is that the more I looked for proof against God the more I found proof for God. The more I looked for proof for evolution the more I found proof against it. The more I tried to dismiss Jesus as the messiah the more certain I became that there is absolutely no doubt that he is! (How can you interpret scriptures like Isaiah 53 any other way?). All the while I spent every lunchtime walking with and wrestling with God. Finally the Lord revealed to me through the Holy Spirit that I had to choose. Once and for all. No going back. Walk away from all my friends. Depending only on him. Give myself to him totally without conditions or if I wished then he would leave me alone. I got down on my knees and repented, pouring my heart out to him and the weight and the fear that had been on me lifted immediately and I now have an assurance that without doubt, no matter what happens to me in this life I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Rom 8:38-39).

Comment Wall: