Dating ethics???

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on December 19, 2009 at 11:44am

Great impute bro.

God is truly blessing you with his wisdom. Do me a fav bro and deal with the "Is kissing and holding hands acceptable or not?" and "Are there biblical verses to back up a Yes or No?" questions bro.

I realize that there are a multitude of opinions about such question in our family and i would like to hear yours.

Thanks

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on December 19, 2009 at 4:09pm

Hey mama Pam,

Your placed a huge smile on my heart and face as i was reading what you wrote. Right on sis.

Press on!

Permalink Reply by Jacob Daniel Souchak on January 6, 2010 at 3:52pm

I wouldn't give a definite yes or no, but in Genesis when Jacob saw Rachel for the first time he kissed her. Genesis 29:11 Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weap aloud.

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on January 6, 2010 at 6:54pm

Jacob-

True that and who better to bring that fact up than you hu hahaha since you carry his name.

Thanks for sharing bro

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on January 26, 2010 at 12:06pm

Genuine,

The more we do away with the World, the better, I greed with you 100%. This is the ideal to shoot for, but that ideal can be impossible to reach if we do not have a daily relationship with Christ, but if we abide in scripture daily it is very possible.
Personally, I believe that a light kiss without the tongue hahahaaha is fine and so is holding hands, but each case has to be judge independently and it should not be done in a rush or on the first date. If I see that a sister who I am dating goes from holding hands and a light kiss to something in appropriate, then I quickly established tighter security measures hahaha. I pull back and let her know that we are playing with fire.

Proverbs 6:28
Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?

What you are saying is: Don’t even place yourself in a situation where our convictions may be compromise. AND I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR AND AGREE WITH YOU. I THINK THAT IS BEST. HOWEVER I WOULD BE A LIER IF I WAS TO SAY THAT THAT IS WHAT I PRACTICE always. I do practice it if the other person practices it too. But when the girl I am dating can hold hands and kiss lightly (again no tongue) then I enjoy that as well. I TAKE EACH CASE INDIVIDUALLY. Not that I go around dating all the time. I will start a discussion about the proper motives to dating.

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on January 27, 2010 at 4:44pm

Hahahaha somehow I knew you were going to come back and say that hahaha sis Genuine -

Is all good. Like I said I agree that what you have chosen is best, but not that I feel I have to defend myself, because I don't feel I have to, since when I hold hands and light kiss, I do not get a conviction from the Holy Spirit, but if it’s wrong to you, is cool, I understand:
Romans 14
But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

Look this is one of those things where we will not see eye-to-eye and like i said Your choice is the better choice and my choice as well, i preferred much more to read the word and pray and go to church and outings with the woman i see marriage potential; wtihout getting physical. So peace sis Ok, :) ok

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on February 24, 2010 at 2:13am

hahaahaha Thanks for the laugh. True that sis.

Permalink Reply by Tessa Governor on January 26, 2010 at 10:30am

Praise God for this group also

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on January 28, 2010 at 11:46am

Sister Genuine asked me a wonderful question through a message, because she did not want to make me uncomfortable, but it is a wonderful question so I have taken the liberty to cut it and paste it here.
Her question:
“I wanted to ask a question but isn't sure how you would take it if I ask on the forum. So here's the question. You said if the female you are dating is ok with kissing and holding hands you enjoy it and go along with it. I don't ever want to make the mistake of trying to define you… But, what about you? Do you think you could be the one that lead in your relationships? I mean, you could set the standards for your relationships. I am wondering what really happens with you when it just doesn't work out, and think about it... why kiss when that doesn't determine that it will be a lasting relationship?”

My answered:
I do take the lead as I am called to by my Lord to be a Spiritual leader. It is an extremely easy role for me. God is my head, so I try to lead by example. I do not kiss or hold hands with dates. No mam, I do not. It usually takes me one date only to know if there is chemistry between us or if this is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. By chemistry I do not mean what the world means by it, but to know if we are compatible etc…I love conversation, so I get to the business of getting to know the other person rather quickly, but prudently and in love. I do not kiss (lightly) nor hold hands unless the person is mature enough to deal with it and I am now in a relationship with her. I only date woman who I see as potential candidates for marriage. I do not date to simply date or go out to the movies hahahaha. No – by God’s grace and to His praise, He has taught me to be content with much or little. So I do well flying solo, while waiting on my Lord. I have not dated in 9 months or so, because have not come across anyone who I see as marriage material… per say….  No I am not looking for miss perfect – No such a thing. Miss perfect would not want me any ways, cause I am not perfect, nor do I have a wrong idea of who I am. I know I am not frog ugly hahaha but I also know I am not a handsome man. I am ok, I get hit on hahahaha oh Lord I crack myself up. I am serious about my walk with my BEAUTIFUL LORD. MY JOY IS TO HONOR HIM, TO BRING GLORY TO HIS NAME. I do not always succeed, but I will die trying.

Hope that clears it up. Keep asking sis Genuine and thank you for caring about my spirituality. You are a blessing.

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on January 28, 2010 at 3:38pm

:)


Sis Genuine,

Unfortunately the beliefs of Christians who chose to let go of the worldly ways, without falling into extremes, to live in holiness are often frown about. Holiness and obedience to Our Lord can only bless us. Press on.

I do kiss and hold hands as I stated before and lightly hug, but never with dates. If the sister I have dated for let’s say (there are no set times for this things) a month. If we are getting a long great, than I would asked her to become my "girlfriend" (that word makes me feel like i was 16 and is not in the bible but...), I will not rush into marriage, is too important of a decision to make hastily. So after an appropriate time of courting the person the holding hands, kissing and hugging, those three being done lightly, come naturally to me.

Again, if I tell you otherwise, I would be lying, Can I or should I shoot for a higher standard, well -personally I do not get a conviction to do so. I can preach and teach effectively while enjoying those benefits hahaha oh man I crack myself up, I tell you.

If the sister I am courting does not want to kiss, hug or hold hands lightly, I am totally ok with that and I am even more attracted. Holiness is beautiful. So why don't i become more attractive for the sister, by not doing the same. Well i enjoy holding hands etc...: )


You had previously asked: "I am wondering what really happens with you when it just doesn't work out, and think about it... why kiss when that doesn't determine that it will be a lasting relationship?”

I love the fact that I have no sexual relations or deep kissing etc. I allows for a clean break, of course, no way around the hurt feeling and the disillusion one may feel for a period of time, but that is all.

I think I have good guidelines and I applaud you for your convictions. Culture comes into play a bit as well, but was its right for a Christian on the moon, is right for the Christian on the Amazons as well, when the practice is aligned to scripture.

Scripture is silent about this matters and I feel I honor the Lord with my practices in this department. :)
I love to pray study and go to church with my potential mate, in the stage of courting, so a firm foundation can be set, but most sisters find that boring, so i am single. There will be time for the intimacy of the marriage convenent, God willing, in due time. dv

Permalink Reply by Tessa Governor on January 29, 2010 at 10:33am

Praise God; David Velasquez; I agree with the answer u gave in this dicussion, cause I feel the same way cause I'm trusting God for a good Godly-husband, who's God-fearing, & who has the fear of God already in him, he doesn't have to be perfect but I want him to love God all their heart, be real, respectful, & a man of God, I've been single 9 yrs., it will be 10 yrs. on Mar.20,2010 of this year, & I honestly can say I understand how u feel.

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on February 7, 2010 at 12:48am

Thank you Tessa, I am encouraged by your words sister. All things are possible through Christ who strengthens us. Amen!

Thank you for sharing sis and i praise God for your testimony :)

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