All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
9 signs you've met the one.
1) You’re Not Chasing the Relationship’s Potential
Many people have romantic relationships fraught with obstacles. On a basic level, the relationship is satisfactory, but there always seems to be something standing in the way of true happiness: a stressful job, an annoying ex, a distasteful habit. Both people feel that once the obstacle is removed, they’ll be truly content together. Unfortunately, relationships don’t work that way. Once the problem is resolved, another one pops up. And—surprise!—the couple is still unhappy.
What people may not realize is that if they are waiting for true happiness in their relationship, then they are in the wrong relationship. Landing a better job may make life easier financially, but no amount of money will help two people who just aren’t a good fit for each other.
The truth is, a happy, well-adjusted couple doesn’t have to chase what could be or should be. A good relationship just is.
2) Who You Are Is Good Enough
You know you’ve met the one when your partner loves you for who you are. We know it sounds pretty cliché, but like all clichés, it’s true. “The One’s” admiration of you is so powerful that it’s almost as if he or she is awestruck by your very presence. He takes great pride in the choices you’ve made. She finds you smart, sexy, fun to be with, and so on. You never have to try to impress “The One” because you’ve already done that by just being you.
3) You Manage Conflict Well
Let’s say we have two couples that have been together for the same amount of time. Couple A fights regularly. Couple B has never argued in the history of their relationship. Which couple do you think a relationship counselor would say is at greater risk?
That’s right: Couple B. Upon closer examination, you’ll find that someone in the relationship—perhaps both parties—isn’t being forthcoming. Someone’s needs and wants aren’t being voiced and therefore aren’t being addressed.
Couple A, on the other hand, makes it a point to bring up topics that are bothersome or dissatisfying within the relationship. This couple regularly engages in respectful, healthy conflict—without insults or throwing things—and comes out the other side a stronger couple that gains a deeper understanding of one another with each conflict they resolve together. How much a couple fights isn’t the issue, unless they don’t fight at all. It’s how a couple manages conflicts that determines how well the relationship works.
4) The Mundane Is Suddenly Interesting
If you’re spending time with someone who really is “The One,” then you probably want to pay attention to even the smallest details of his or her life. Specifics from his work interest you, stories about his childhood hold your attention, and even old photos or home movies fascinate you.
When this happens, then this person is likely much more to you than a ship passing in the night.
5) There’s Minimal Drama—or None at All
Like we said above when we talked about conflict, even the healthiest relationships deal with their share of arguments. So when we say that there’s not a lot of drama in your relationship, we don’t mean that the two of you never fight.
But when you do, you do your best to fight fair. You admit when you’re wrong, you listen to each other, you acknowledge one another’s good points, and you apologize when you cross lines. It’s not that you have to be perfect, but if this person is “The One,” then you are at least trying to make your conflict work for your relationship rather than against it.
So if you two are dealing with constant drama, where one of you is trying to create high emotions to manipulate the other or where there’s constant turbulence without some sort of resolution, then be careful about fully committing to the relationship at this point. High drama is a definite red flag when it comes to long-term relationship success.
6) Your Friends and Family See What You See
If the people who love you the most are begging you to get away from someone, then that person’s probably not the one for you. On the other hand, if the people you trust also see what you see in this person and encourage the relationship, then that’s a good sign that you two may belong together.
Of course, sometimes your friends and family may choose someone for you whom you haven’t chosen. They may push for a relationship that you have no interest in pursuing. In these cases, it’s not always wise to follow their advice.
But if you’re falling in love with someone whom the people in your life want you to be with, then there’s a good chance that this may be the real deal.
7) You Know How to Make Them Happy
When there’s a deep connection between two people, they each know what the other wants and needs. So ask yourself this question about the person in your life: Do you know what it takes to make him or her happy? Think about minor, moment-by-moment issues, like where that person likes to eat and what kind of back rub he or she enjoys.
Additionally, think about larger matters as well: Do you know how to help her relieve stress? Can you get her to talk about her dreams and visions for the future? When she’s struggling at work or with a family issue, can you help her come through the storm and find the sun again? And, just as important, does your partner know how to do this for you as well? If so, that’s another reason to believe that you’ve found “The One.”
8) You Have the Same Life Priorities
Opposites may attract, but they rarely make for a good long-term relationship. Compatibility really is key when it comes to creating a deep and lasting connection between two people.
For example, if you want to begin preparing for the future and building toward certain life and career goals, but your partner mainly wants to make enough money so that he or she can party this weekend, then you two are probably working with fairly different priorities.
And the opposite it is true, too: If your priorities match up well, then you two have a much better chance of long-term happiness and fulfillment together.
9) You Respect the Person Deeply
Mutual respect is crucial for a healthy relationship. Without that respect, there’s simply no way to create and build a secure foundation so that you can enjoy all of the benefits of a deep and strong relationship.
But when you respect your partner and he or she respects you, the relationship has a strong chance at thriving, and all the aspects of your connection blossom. The communication improves. The commitment deepens. The trust multiplies. The satisfaction level goes through the roof.
And that all begins with a mutual respect that emerges because you like each other and because you appreciate the way you live your individual lives.
So as you try to figure out whether you’ve found “The One,” take a look at this list. If you can check off each of the above items, then you owe it to yourself to allow the relationship to become all that it can possibly be.
Many people have romantic relationships fraught with obstacles. On a basic level, the relationship is satisfactory, but there always seems to be something standing in the way of true happiness: a stressful job, an annoying ex, a distasteful habit. Both people feel that once the obstacle is removed, they’ll be truly content together. Unfortunately, relationships don’t work that way. Once the problem is resolved, another one pops up. And—surprise!—the couple is still unhappy.
What people may not realize is that if they are waiting for true happiness in their relationship, then they are in the wrong relationship. Landing a better job may make life easier financially, but no amount of money will help two people who just aren’t a good fit for each other.
The truth is, a happy, well-adjusted couple doesn’t have to chase what could be or should be. A good relationship just is.
2) Who You Are Is Good Enough
You know you’ve met the one when your partner loves you for who you are. We know it sounds pretty cliché, but like all clichés, it’s true. “The One’s” admiration of you is so powerful that it’s almost as if he or she is awestruck by your very presence. He takes great pride in the choices you’ve made. She finds you smart, sexy, fun to be with, and so on. You never have to try to impress “The One” because you’ve already done that by just being you.
3) You Manage Conflict Well
Let’s say we have two couples that have been together for the same amount of time. Couple A fights regularly. Couple B has never argued in the history of their relationship. Which couple do you think a relationship counselor would say is at greater risk?
That’s right: Couple B. Upon closer examination, you’ll find that someone in the relationship—perhaps both parties—isn’t being forthcoming. Someone’s needs and wants aren’t being voiced and therefore aren’t being addressed.
Couple A, on the other hand, makes it a point to bring up topics that are bothersome or dissatisfying within the relationship. This couple regularly engages in respectful, healthy conflict—without insults or throwing things—and comes out the other side a stronger couple that gains a deeper understanding of one another with each conflict they resolve together. How much a couple fights isn’t the issue, unless they don’t fight at all. It’s how a couple manages conflicts that determines how well the relationship works.
4) The Mundane Is Suddenly Interesting
If you’re spending time with someone who really is “The One,” then you probably want to pay attention to even the smallest details of his or her life. Specifics from his work interest you, stories about his childhood hold your attention, and even old photos or home movies fascinate you.
When this happens, then this person is likely much more to you than a ship passing in the night.
5) There’s Minimal Drama—or None at All
Like we said above when we talked about conflict, even the healthiest relationships deal with their share of arguments. So when we say that there’s not a lot of drama in your relationship, we don’t mean that the two of you never fight.
But when you do, you do your best to fight fair. You admit when you’re wrong, you listen to each other, you acknowledge one another’s good points, and you apologize when you cross lines. It’s not that you have to be perfect, but if this person is “The One,” then you are at least trying to make your conflict work for your relationship rather than against it.
So if you two are dealing with constant drama, where one of you is trying to create high emotions to manipulate the other or where there’s constant turbulence without some sort of resolution, then be careful about fully committing to the relationship at this point. High drama is a definite red flag when it comes to long-term relationship success.
6) Your Friends and Family See What You See
If the people who love you the most are begging you to get away from someone, then that person’s probably not the one for you. On the other hand, if the people you trust also see what you see in this person and encourage the relationship, then that’s a good sign that you two may belong together.
Of course, sometimes your friends and family may choose someone for you whom you haven’t chosen. They may push for a relationship that you have no interest in pursuing. In these cases, it’s not always wise to follow their advice.
But if you’re falling in love with someone whom the people in your life want you to be with, then there’s a good chance that this may be the real deal.
7) You Know How to Make Them Happy
When there’s a deep connection between two people, they each know what the other wants and needs. So ask yourself this question about the person in your life: Do you know what it takes to make him or her happy? Think about minor, moment-by-moment issues, like where that person likes to eat and what kind of back rub he or she enjoys.
Additionally, think about larger matters as well: Do you know how to help her relieve stress? Can you get her to talk about her dreams and visions for the future? When she’s struggling at work or with a family issue, can you help her come through the storm and find the sun again? And, just as important, does your partner know how to do this for you as well? If so, that’s another reason to believe that you’ve found “The One.”
8) You Have the Same Life Priorities
Opposites may attract, but they rarely make for a good long-term relationship. Compatibility really is key when it comes to creating a deep and lasting connection between two people.
For example, if you want to begin preparing for the future and building toward certain life and career goals, but your partner mainly wants to make enough money so that he or she can party this weekend, then you two are probably working with fairly different priorities.
And the opposite it is true, too: If your priorities match up well, then you two have a much better chance of long-term happiness and fulfillment together.
9) You Respect the Person Deeply
Mutual respect is crucial for a healthy relationship. Without that respect, there’s simply no way to create and build a secure foundation so that you can enjoy all of the benefits of a deep and strong relationship.
But when you respect your partner and he or she respects you, the relationship has a strong chance at thriving, and all the aspects of your connection blossom. The communication improves. The commitment deepens. The trust multiplies. The satisfaction level goes through the roof.
And that all begins with a mutual respect that emerges because you like each other and because you appreciate the way you live your individual lives.
So as you try to figure out whether you’ve found “The One,” take a look at this list. If you can check off each of the above items, then you owe it to yourself to allow the relationship to become all that it can possibly be.
Views: 20409
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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Ivo,
Well I wish I could take credit for it, but is does not originate with me (the article up above) I found it somewhere and thought it would enrich our lives.
Glad you and enjoyed it and mainly that you want to put it to practice. There lays our victory - in living in wisdom from above. -
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Wow - impressive sis. Koodos to you.
In other words Pam - our Joy should be our Lord - only then can we venture into His will for our lives with someone else. -
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Permalink Reply by Jeremy Brown on
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God honoring relationships, be it a friendship or a marriage.. Ah. Lord help me to simply be an honorable friend to everyone in my church.
A friend must show himself friendly. I'm not sure that there is much friendly in me. But still, I am redeemed by Christ, so I know that there is.
Lord help me see your will for my life, could this be possible, a lifelong commitment, honoring to God? Would God so change my life that I would be ready for such an incredible thing? Who knows? My God and I will work it out, and He is faithful, so that He will open that door in His time. -
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You stated: "A friend must show himself friendly. I'm not sure that there is much friendly in me. But still, I am redeemed by Christ, so I know that there is."
You got it yon bro. God is always telling us to do the impossible, to love our enemies etc. and we can only do that by him working through us. So you got plenty of friendly when you abide in Him. -
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Robin-
Sis Genuine has given you great impute, but I also understand what you are saying about not wanting a guy dating you for your potential and wanting to be liked/love for who you are now, especially if you are comfortable under your skin and your conduct (mentally, emotionally and in actions) is ethical.
But I cannot help but to think that people see the awesome potential in you to shine even brighter and wonder what is keeping you from reaching for it?
Dv -
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True that!
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Robin-
The guys that are approaching you are not Christian or very immature ones, but most likely they are not, I am guessing.
I am sure the situation gets old really quickly and it is very painful I am sure. Sis it is hard to find a well balanced Christian man as it is to find a Christian woman now this days, at least one that you are attracted to in multiple levels. Primarily Spiritually.
I am sorry guys can be so rude and silly, but I want to reassure you that there are Christian men who are Godly and who can care less about weigh, skin color etc...
I cannot speak for anyone else and please don't misunderstand me sis when I express the following, for I am not doing it, to hit on you in a subtle way or show off in any way, but to give you some true encouragement and bring some Praise to my Lord. Again I cannot speak for anyone else but I know that for me and other Christian men the sexiest thing walking the earth is a GODLY WOMAN.
A WOMAN THAT LOVES GOD MORE THAN ME, ONE THAT WILL UNDERSTAND THAT HER JOY IS NOT IN ME THOUGH I WILL BE WILLING TO DIE FOR HER AND LIVE FOR HER, BEING SECOND TO GOD ONLY IN MY HEART.
Sis there are still men of God upon the earth and single hahahaha so don't lose heart beloved, just become the type of woman a Godly man is looking for and in Gods timing all will be well.
The guys that approched you and are rude, if the opportunity presents itself, it could be turn around for God's glory and you can tell them something like. Have a bless day.
Turn the situation around. Love even those that offend you.
Love you in Christ sis. -
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Romans 12:3 (New King James Version)
3 For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.
My perception of self is built in the word, we should know who we are, but not think more highly or too low of ourselves.
This is who we are :1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;
As far as responses to insults or anything else, we should always react as the Lord guides us at that particular moment. there is not one answere that will be right for every individual/situation.
:) -
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Permalink Reply by jolivic montanez on
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AMEN....
THAT WAS SO NICE..!! -
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Permalink Reply by Tessa Governor on
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Praise God; I thank God for r words of wisdom; I haven't recieved the man of God yet that I'm trusting God for but when I do we will positively have this discussion.
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Sister Genuine as I have stated multiple times throughout this friendly and fun discussion, I agree with your assessment. We should definately know that we are beautiful in christ.
But just to speak up for the silent guys - there remains Godly men on this earth, mean who know the true beauty of a woman is not outwardly:
1 Peter 3:3
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Nothing againts a woman looking great, but she should not base her beauty on that, and i am not refering to you here sis Genuine, i am simply making a general statement :) Peace.
Blessings! -
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We are living in times that is just as hard to find a Godly woman as much as it is to find a Godly man I suppose.
Proverbs 5:
3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil;
4 but in the end she is bitter as gall,
sharp as a double-edged sword.
There are women that are very seductive etc… And there are guys who are just wrong for playing games. Regardless I think that we should turn every situation for the Glory of God. I am not frustrated, sad or angry because of the difficulties one can incounter to find a compatible Godly woman. Instead - I enjoy the fact that I am free to come and go in my Father’s business. Of course a compatible wife will be an enormous blessing, but God is my all and will remain my all, even when I meet the one. i pray you get in the word, so you can experiance the Freedom and Joy that is there for us to attain in a daily basis.
I hope that encourages you. Let go of old hurts and become who God wants you to become. Shiny objects attract a lot of attention. Shine for Daddy. -
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