The Submissive Wife

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Comment by Ms. Butterfly on May 19, 2010 at 1:00am

when u lay down ur life does that mean give up the streets for ur wife, and all the not answering your phone and turning it off so ur wife can quit calling,i mean am i in denyle, because i want my marriage to work, after 17 yrs there is no trust, im not in love but love him cause hes Gods child and i love all. my daughter told me i was in denile of my husband, she is 21 so does that mean im holding on to something thats not there, like chaseing the wind. Well, when do u divorce, r what do i do God said dont divorce ur spouce if he or she wants to stay with u.But im tired!!!!!!!!!!!! do God forgive divorce? the spirit spoke to my daughter and told her to tell me to read 1corinthians 1:11, she also said the spirit told her i need a husband, my daughter is not spiritual so when the holyspirit came to her she was crying and scared and told this lady she know and the lady told her to go ahead and tell me. my daughter did not know corinthians was a book of the bible so she knew nothing,help me somebody because im literally and physically going crazy stress and all please help me understand please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Danielle Barnes on May 18, 2010 at 1:18pm

I really enjoyed reading this I have been trying to put this in my own words for days now and have not been able to so thank you Sharon.

Comment by Sharon Theresa Theil on May 18, 2010 at 11:32am

Excellent article from the blog Generation Cedar:


The night hour brought me an epiphany…nights have a way of doing that.

A nagging question: “How could it be that the concept of “headship” and submission in a marriage–Scriptural hierarchy–call it what you want, how could this idea be so vehemently controversial?”

Those who oppose it do so with passion; those who embrace it do so with equal passion.

Are we even talking about the same thing?

I think not.

Here’s my epiphany…

Unless your eyes have been opened to understand the truth of God’s Word, it doesn’t make sense. It even angers.

But if you do understand it, then you know that almost all of Christianity is a PARADOX…and herein lies the confusion.

From the very appearance of our Savior–some expecting a conquering King, and still waiting, God revealed His love in the humblest way, doing everything opposite of what we would have done.

The whole language of Scripture is irony:

“If you want to live, you must die.”

“If you want to be first you must be last.”

“If you want to be greatest of all, you must become least of all.”

And it is within this same, human-baffling wisdom that we find the instruction to husbands and wives so difficult to embrace…

In commanding my husband to be “head” of our home, God was asking him to become the “foot”, figuratively speaking. And He left no doubt about His request:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Gave Himself up. In every way.

Does that sound like the man-domineering decree that so many assert the Bible teaches? Does that sound like a husband growling his dinner requests as he sits with his feet propped up?

Christ gave his life! Day in, day out, spending every ounce of himself for those He loved. And husbands are commanded to do the same.

The truth is, husbands were given the most dauting, bone-chilling role on the planet…and no woman should covet it.

My husband daily lays down his life for me. I guess that’s why I have such a hard time understanding why “biblical submission” is so offensive. It is not hard for me to obey GOD, by willfully acknowledging my husband as my loving head…it’s the irony that as such, he dies to himself that I may live. What woman can balk at that?

Granted, many men and women do NOT understand this irony, and do abuse what they have misinterpreted from Scripture. It is sad, and awful, and I think the church shoulders a heavy responsibility in teaching truth to men about their roles.

But here’s the crux…and hear me carefully…that is NO reason to abandon the principle that is right and good and life to marriage.

Many who have seen a man abuse a woman instantly blame the paradigm for the abuse…this is wrong-headed and hurts everyone in the end.

It would be the same as abandoning the use of any life-giving medication because some abuse it by taking too much and killing themselves. Bad example, but maybe you get the point. The medicine is GOOD; the problem lies with the abuser.

God has a beautiful blueprint–full of irony as it is, and when we submit to HIM, and that blueprint, as husbands and wives, He will do a wonderful work in our lives.

After all, He is the Designer.

Comment by Danielle Barnes on May 13, 2010 at 12:46pm

here is some more of the comentery by Clarke-Eph 5:25
Husbands, love your wives - Here is a grand rule, according to which every husband is called to act: Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. But how did Christ love the Church? He gave himself for it - he laid down his life for it. So then husbands should, if necessary, lay down their lives for their wives: and there is more implied in the words than mere protection and support; for, as Christ gave himself for the Church to save it, so husbands should, by all means in their power, labor to promote the salvation of their wives, and their constant edification in righteousness. Thus we find that the authority of the man over the woman is founded on his love to her, and this love must be such as to lead him to risk his life for her. As the care of the family devolves on the wife, and the children must owe the chief direction of their minds and formation of their manners to the mother, she has need of all the assistance and support which her husband can give her; and, if she performs her duty well, she deserves the utmost of his love and affection.

Comment by Danielle Barnes on May 13, 2010 at 12:33pm

I do not know if you have heard of e-soward it is a online bible and you can download commentry from different people one of the commentairys that I have is by Clarke and i states In every thing - That is, every lawful thing; for it is not intimated that they should obey their husbands in any thing criminal, or in any thing detrimental to the interests of their souls. The husband may be profligate, and may wish his wife to become such also; he may be an enemy to true religion, and use his authority to prevent his wife from those means of grace which she finds salutary to her soul; in none of these things should she obey him.
I also have other comentery by Barnes an it states- In everything which is not contrary to the will of God

I will find the other scriptures I do not know them off the top of my Head. I dont know if this helps but if you get a cance to read The Power of a Praying Wife it really helped me and It has a study Guide to go with it

Comment by Sharon Theresa Theil on May 13, 2010 at 10:35am

Danielle,
I like this post:

If your Husband does not love you and respect you like God did the church then you would not be disobeying God if you did not submit to you Husband because a marrriage is a partner ship it will only work if both partners are willing to submit.

But I don't really see a scriptural basis for this belief. Could you clarify by adding more scripture or by expounding on the scripture from Eph. 5:22-33?

Thanks!

Comment by Danielle Barnes on May 12, 2010 at 2:21pm

Hi I am new to the group and I just wanted that the bibile also states for the husband to love his wife as God loved the church. If your Husband does not love you and respect you like God did the church then you would not be disobeying God if you did not submit to you Husband because a marrriage is a partner ship it will only work if both partners are willing to submit. read ephesians 5: 22-33 I hop this helps

Comment by Jacqueline Harris on February 20, 2010 at 6:20pm

Hi, I am doing the same thing. My husband goes to church, but hasn't accepted the Lord Jesus, I know this because of the way he treats me and God. Because of this, my grown children are having problems. I pray for them all consistantly and try to be as loving to my husband as I can. Of course, I can always do better. I pray the scriptures over them all.

Comment by Dawn M on February 7, 2010 at 1:58pm

I am in the same situation Trebia. I am married with (3) adult children. None of my children are leading a Godly lifestyle. My husband and son smoke marijuana daily. To be honest, I use to smoke marijuana myself. I put them all in God's hands. I love all of them. The Word says " cast all your worries and anxiety on the Lord and he will give you rest". That is exactly what I did. It was hard in the beginning but I held tight to the Lord's hand. As an Intercessor, I stand in the gap til they ALL come to there senses. Hold them up in prayer daily. Pray the Hedge of Protection around them. Ask God to deliver them and watch what He does. Read the book of Ephesians. It is an incredible book. Stay Blessed and strong, God WILL see you through this.

Comment by Ms. Butterfly on February 7, 2010 at 12:53am

how do you honor and respect your husband when the life he lives is not godly?

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