A Recovering Backslider

Hello, 

Please pray for me, and my relationship with the Lord to continue to grow, and that he would lead me and guide me.  Let me explain, I asked the Lord into my heart at about 4 years old, I am over 35 now, and looking back, I have backslidden, and repented.  

I had heard the Lord's warnings, and ignored them, now I am facing the consequences of not listening to the still, small, voice, of the Lord. He does love me, and I am praying that I have not pushed him over the limits of his patience with me, but that it seems like he is far away from me now, I hold on even tighter, just learning as much as I can about him, and seeking him, all day (almost), every day. I was ignorant, growing up in church as to how beautiful his promises are for us, I let my marriage go, and now have caused more problems. I really do love the Lord, this situation, only he knows the details, have caused me to seek him even more. 

So please pray he would work through this situation, in me. 

That he will not be far, although l know he's near, I can feel his presence at times too. 

That I haven't pushed him to the limit of patience, which I know is boundless.

Maybe these circumstances serve as a wake up call to seek him with all I have, I just hope I haven't messed up to badly, I really do not want to disappoint my Father anymore. thank you