All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

The Joy of the Lord is our strengh.

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Let's have a laugh. We are criticized by outsiders because of the many divisions among our Christian family, but for now let’s put all that aside in this group and have a laugh about it. THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL WHO WANT TO JOIN

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Latest Activity: Mar 5, 2018

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Denominational Humor
How many _________ does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Charismatics? Only one since his/her hands are always in the air anyway.

2. Presbyterians? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

3. Baptists? CHANGE???????

4. Pentecostals? Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

5. Catholics? None. They always use candles.

6. Episcopalians? Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.

7. Church of Christ? None. There's no evidence that light bulbs were ever changed in New Testament times.

8. United Methodists? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ

hahaha

Discussion Forum

Rejoice I tell you, REJOICE

Started by David Velasquez. Last reply by Jessi Perez Oct 9, 2012. 31 Replies 1 Like

Please bless us with clean Christian jokes so we can exercise the tummy. :)Continue

Cartoon fun and more!

Started by David Velasquez. Last reply by Prophet Mar 7, 2011. 15 Replies 0 Likes

Come on family share with us some funny cartoons andvideos.Continue

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Comment Wall

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Comment by Carla on February 10, 2010 at 8:31am: The Sahara

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door.

The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down."

The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door.

"I cut the tree down," said the man. The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.

"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.

The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"

Comment by Carla on February 10, 2010 at 8:29am: You're a Mom When

You know you're a mom when you're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, Not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, rollerblading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

Comment by Carla on February 10, 2010 at 8:20am: Sorry, Wrong Address!

A couple decided to go to Cyprus for the weekend, but because they both worked it was hard to coordinate their diaries. So they decided the husband would go a day early, and his wife would join him the following day. On arriving, the husband thought he would email his wife from his laptop, but he accidentally mistyped her email address and sent it off without realising.

A widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends, but instead found this:

To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've Arrived!

I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. (P.S. Sure is hot down here!)

Comment by Carla on February 10, 2010 at 8:17am: The End Is Near

Farmers Fred and Luke were fishing on the side of the road. They made a sign saying "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!," and showed it to each passing car.

One driver that passed didn't appreciate the sign and shouted, "Leave us alone you religious nuts!"

All of a sudden they heard a big splash.

Fred grinned at Luke. "Do you think we should just put up a sign that says: 'Bridge Out' instead?"

Comment by Jeremy Brown on February 4, 2010 at 2:58pm: ah, thank you so much for finding these jokes, they are good medicine :)

Comment by swtswan on February 3, 2010 at 1:37pm: They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance..
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.