All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
The Joy of the Lord is our strengh.
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Let's have a laugh. We are criticized by outsiders because of the many divisions among our Christian family, but for now let’s put all that aside in this group and have a laugh about it. THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL WHO WANT TO JOIN
Members: 255
Latest Activity: Mar 5, 2018
How many _________ does it take to change a light bulb?
1. Charismatics? Only one since his/her hands are always in the air anyway.
2. Presbyterians? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
3. Baptists? CHANGE???????
4. Pentecostals? Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
5. Catholics? None. They always use candles.
6. Episcopalians? Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.
7. Church of Christ? None. There's no evidence that light bulbs were ever changed in New Testament times.
8. United Methodists? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ
hahaha
Discussion Forum
Rejoice I tell you, REJOICE
Started by David Velasquez. Last reply by Jessi Perez Oct 9, 2012. 31 Replies 1 Like
Please bless us with clean Christian jokes so we can exercise the tummy. :)Continue
Cartoon fun and more!
Started by David Velasquez. Last reply by Prophet Mar 7, 2011. 15 Replies 0 Likes
Come on family share with us some funny cartoons andvideos.Continue
Comment Wall
Comment
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Comment by Prophet on May 11, 2011 at 12:55am
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I just love this one
THE MUM TEST
I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
'Why?' my daughter asked.
'Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, And probably has germs,' I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Mum, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.'
I was thinking quickly and replied, 'All mums know this stuff. It's on the Mum Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mum.'
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
'Oh....I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad.'
'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.
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Comment by Ruel Z Chavez on May 6, 2011 at 6:45am
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:-) Thank you Melinda for those two stories about the pastor's cat and the atheist. Your prayer is answered. I received grace to see your jokes. :-)
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Comment by RoyW on May 6, 2011 at 5:45am
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Hahaha,
I am questioning the cat one, though. I love the one about the atheist.
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Love the jokes everyone they really start me off on the right note everymorning.... keep them coming
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Comment by Melinda Stanaland on May 5, 2011 at 9:56pm
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A Christian lady lived next door to an atheist. Everyday,
when the lady prayed, the atheist could hear her. He thought
to himself, "She sure is crazy, praying all the time like
that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?"
Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house
and harass her, saying, "Lady, why do you pray all the time?
Don't you know there is no God?" But she kept on praying.
One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying
to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for
what He was going to do.
As usual, the atheist heard her praying, and thought to
himself, "Humph! I'll fix her."
He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of
groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the
front porch, rang the doorbell, and then hid in the bushes
to see what she would do.
When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to
praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and
shouting everywhere!
The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, "You
ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought
those groceries!"
At this news the lady began to celebrate even more! When the
atheist finally calmed her, he asked her why she was so
ecstatic since God hadn't provided the groceries.
Ignoring his lack of faith, she replied, "I knew the Lord
was going to provide me with groceries, but I didn't know He
was going to make the devil pay for them!"
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THE PASTOR'S CAT This particular story just made me laugh.
Every time I think about it, the vision of that poor cat just amuses me to
no end. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in your day. Whoever said the
Creator doesn't have a sense of humor?
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He
had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to
come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.
The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so
the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the
tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.
That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then
figured if he went just a little bit farther, the tree would be bent
sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little
farther forward, the rope broke.
The tree went 'boing!' and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out
of sight.
The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people
if they'd seen a little kitten. No, nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he
prayed, 'Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,' and went on
about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church
members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see
cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked
her, 'Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?'
She replied, 'You won't believe this', and then told him how her little girl
had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days
before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl,
'Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.' She told the pastor,
'I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a
cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own
eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws
outspread, and landed right in front of her.'
Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor.
Anyone can count the seeds in an apple; but only God can count the apples
in a seed .
GIVE ME A SENSE OF HUMOR, LORD
GIVE ME THE GRACE TO SEE A JOKE
TO GET SOME HUMOR OUT OF LIFE
AND PASS IT ON TO OTHER FOLKS
AMEN !
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Comment by Lena J on May 5, 2011 at 10:35am
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I like the idea of clean Christian jokes as a way to exercise the tummy! :) Thanks for sending the link(s).
God Bless!
Lena
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Comment by SHYLEEJAN on May 5, 2011 at 4:56am
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GOOD MORNING DAVID,
I KNOW U R BLESS, IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I GOT A ROSE.
THANK U, MAY UR BASKET NEVER GO DRY.
LUV U
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Comment by David Velasquez on May 5, 2011 at 12:05am
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Thank you sista Shylee. :)
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Once Mr Crasto came to Jamaica and saw all the houses grill, and ask Mr Manley y ? ,Mr Manley said if people dont grill there house thief will rob then, so Mr Castro said y dont u get rid of the thief ? Mr Manley said if we get rid of the thief the people will demonstrate, so Mr Castro said get rid of the people and leave the thief then.
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