Husbands, Love Your Wives As Christ Loved The Church

Husbands, Love Your Wives - Ephesians 5.25-30


Jonathan Edwards was one of the greatest preachers and thinkers of church history and a primary leader in the Great Awakening. One the greatest sermons I have ever read is one entitled ‘The Excellency of Christ’ by Jonathan Edwards. The Excellency of Christ is dated August 1736 and the reward is more than worth the effort required to read it.

Edwards based his sermon on Revelation 5:5-6 which reads, And one of the elders said to me, “Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.” And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain, with seven horns and with seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth.

In this passage, Jesus Christ is described with two unique and seemingly contradictory titles. Christ is called The Lion of the tribe of Judah and The Lamb slain. Edwards uses these two titles of Christ to explain and describe Christ masterfully. I can still remember being brought to tears on my first reading of it.

Of this description of Christ as Lion and Lamb, Edwards says ‘There is an admirable conjunction of diverse excellencies…The lion excels in strength, and in the majesty of his appearance and voice: the lamb excels in meekness and patience.’ The sermon is then spent exposing many ways in which this conjunction may be seen in Scripture. For example…

In Christ is found infinite highness and infinite condescension
In Christ is found infinite justice and infinite grace
In Christ is found infinite glory and lowest humility
In Christ is found infinite majesty and transcendent meekness

Edwards, of course, gives many more examples and demonstrates that we can see these diverse excellencies in Christ’s birth, life, death, ascension, and judgment. The excellencies of Christ are given in part of to compel us to choose Christ for our Savior. I want to encourage you to take the time to read this sermon easily found with a simple search on line.

But, I ask you to think with me about Christ as both lion and lamb this morning for another reason and this brings us to our text for the day; Ephesians 6.25-30. This passage exhorts husbands to love your wives as Christ loves the church. As you examine the immediate context, it is clear that in marriage wives are called to portray the submission of the church to Christ and husbands are called to portray the sacrifice and love of Christ for the church.

Husbands are to portray or model Christ in the marriage relationship. Christ is called lion and lamb. Therefore, husbands are to be both a lion and a lamb. Husbands, you should lead your wives, and families, both like a lion and a lamb. Now, this truth is important not only for husbands, but for future husbands, for wives, for widows, and for children. Each one of us has an interest in helping and encouraging with all the strength that God would give us every husband to lead as both lion and lamb.

Where husbands are lions and lambs men, wives, children, churches, societies, and nations will have a foundation to stand for God’s glory.

Husbands lead like a lion. (25-27)

What does it mean for a husband to lead his wife and family like a lion? Notice 25-27. Husbands lead like lions by loving like Jesus! We will come to Jesus lamb like qualities shortly but first see our Savior like a Lion. Christ loved the church so much that He gave His own life, physically, on a bloody cross to save her.

Jesus said in John 10:17-18, For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”

Christ was not a victim when he went to the cross! He knew what he was doing. He knew that he would be triumphant. He knew that the church, made up of sinners like us, would perish if he did not die and he chose to make the sacrifice. He was a lion.

Jesus died on the cross for the church. It was physical. It was brutal. It was necessary. This is one aspect of the type of leadership a man is to provide his wife and family. Love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
But how so? What does this look like?

The husband should be ready to lay down his life in lifelong labor as the breadwinner in the home. The husband should be ready to lay down his life to protect his family from an intruder. The husband should make sure the wife gets in out of the rain and walk in it if he has to. That’s the idea. We used to call it chivalry. So, at the end of a long day, when both husband and wife are tired, the husband should sacrifice his own desire to sit in his chair to help with the kids, to get the kids ready for bed. There are a thousand ways a man can literally lay down his life physically for his wife, but a man’s loving leadership of his wife is more than physical it is also spiritual.

Notice again verses 26-27. Jesus died on the cross for the church to bear God’s wrath for her sins so that he might make her holy and without blemish. The death of Christ accomplished the spiritual perfection of the church. It is certain and secure that every believer will someday be holy and without blemish. Unworthy, incapable, and undesirable sinners are made pure and holy by the sacrifice of Christ. He sanctifies her.

In the same way, a husband should sanctify his wife. He should have a spiritual interest in her. The husband should lead his wife spiritually and he should affect her in a spiritually positive way. How is this done? 3 simple things every husband ought to do.

Every husband ought to…

1) Read the Bible and pray every day personally.
2) Lead his wife and family to a bible preaching/teaching church every week.
3) Lead his wife and family in regular family devotions/worship.

I know that there are husbands in this room who are already working at doing these three and even more. Let me encourage you to continue and not to give us on these. There are others who may not have begun to do these things, let me encourage you to make a commitment today to do them. These are simple activities, but all the demons of hell would oppose a man in these spiritual works, so attack it like a lion. Don’t be a lamb in your spiritual leadership. Be a lion about it. Take the lead.

A wife, a child, a church, a nation will all be blessed by a man who assumes this kind of spiritual leadership.

Husbands lead like a lamb. (28-30)

Notice particularly in verses 28-30 the words nourish and cherish. The words literal speak of feeding and taking care of your wife. Every time we take the Lord’s Supper, we are reminded that Christ feeds the church with his own death on the cross. Christ is the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world and through his sacrifice believers are fed and taken care of.

Here is a great challenge for every man. On the one hand you’re to be as strong and courageous as a lion. On the other hand you’re to be as gentle and patient as a lamb. This is difficult, but not impossible. Christ commands you to do it and He Himself will give you the strength and ability to accomplish.

Christ would at times make a whip and drive the moneychangers from the Temple, while at other times he would take a child into his lap. He was a lion and a lamb. One of the most important I’ve learned as I prepared for this sermon is that one of the keys to a Christian husbands leadership is to initiate. Husbands we must learn to initiate.

Think of this in terms of fathering. There will be times when Dad has to say to his little girl, ‘Go to your room. I’ll be there in a minute.’ At other times, Dad must say, ‘Come here sweetie. Let me hold you for a while.’ It will take lion like courage to say, ‘No. You can’t go to that party’ and lamb like gentleness to say, ‘I know you’ve been hurt by that friend. Let’s talk.’

In the realm of the marriage, one of the ways a husband leads his wife is by initiating reconciliation. Imagine a couple who have had a conversation, or a debate, or an argument, or all out war and now there is that still silence in the room. There needs to be reconciliation and the Bible warns that it is spiritually dangerous to go to bed angry, so it is the husband who should be most ready to gently initiate the reconciliation process.

The husband should be the one to swallow his pride and to say, ‘Honey, I’m sorry. I was wrong by the way I said what I said. I do love you and I want us to work this out.’ He doesn’t have to do all the work, but he should be the one to lead the effort. Initiate!

There are many ways in which a husband and father will be as much like a lamb as like a lion. Christian husbands will nourish and cherish their wives through their spiritual leadership.

One the first Bible stories our children learn is the story of Noah’s Ark. God destroys the world with a flood saving only Noah and his family. The very first thing Noah did when the floodwaters subsided and he could leave the ark was to build an altar and to make offerings to the Lord. Noah had led his wife and family to build the ark despite the fact that he was the only man doing it, despite the fact that he was ridiculed for doing so. Noah’s family was saved and Noah’s leadership was vital. Yet, it wasn’t Noah who saved his wife and children. No, Noah’s family was saved by the Ark. It was the ark that sailed across the swollen waters of God’s wrath.

At the end of the day, we must recognize that the best of men among us are weak and limited. There are men in this room whom I love and admire very much, especially because I can see your sacrificial physical and spiritual love for your wife. But we all must confess that not a one of us can save our wives or our children from God’s wrath.

But like that wooden ark, it is the wooden cross of Christ that can and will save all who hide it in from the storm of God’s wrath upon sin. God hates sin and he will punish it with hell, but Christ took hell on the cross for all who will believe in Him. Husbands, you can never save yourself. You can never be a good enough man. You can’t come to church enough, serve enough, or lead enough family worship. If you would be saved you must come to the cross.

And the same is true for wives, widows, and children; if you would be saved you must believe in Christ and what he has done for sinners. Husbands, you can’t do the believing for your wife or children, but what you can do is devote your life to leading them all to the ark of God’s grace. You can lead them, sometimes like a lion and sometimes like lamb; you can lead them to Jesus.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------