Tips for a Marriage Restoration

Tips on Marriage


Also see "Marriage First Aid Kit" for 4 things to do (and not do) when your marriage is in crisis.
Do you understand the power of forgiveness? Do you know the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation?
Definition of Forgiveness: "To excuse a wrong on a wrong-doer, or to remit or cancel a debt" Webster
Definition of Reconciliation: "To bring together again in love and friendship, or to reach a compromise or agreement about your differences" Webster
Satan's Lie: You can only forgive someone if he or she has repented and agreed with you.
God's Truth: God forgave us while were yet sinners, and we are to forgive as Christ forgave us. (Romans 5:8, Ephesians 4:32)
If you are having difficulty forgiving your spouse try the following:
1. Make a commitment to pray daily for them. If they are in sin and haven't repented, ask God to bring people into his or her life who will lovingly confront them and bring truth to them.
2. Make a list of things you liked about him or her when you first met. Ask God to give you eyes to see good things in your spouse now.
3. After you have spent 12-weeks going through Reconciling God's Way with a support partner, go to your spouse and point out the "speck" in their eye. (Read Matthew 7: 3-5.)
4. If your spouse refuses to repent, give it over to God and ask God to make it clear to you what your role should be in the situation. If they are doing something against the law, for instance, you may need to involve authorities. If it is adultery, you may have to draw a hard line in the sand and separate. The important thing is that you wait to hear from God--not man--and do whatever you do in love.
5. Last, forgive, and let God move in your heart. If your spouse repents, then true reconciliation is possible.
10 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage
1. Recognize the necessity that GOD must be the center of your life; not spouse or children but GOD.
2. Make a genuine commitment of twelve weeks to attend a class, which is designed to strengthen marriages, (and commitment to reconciliation.)
3. Attend a weekly prayer group or Bible Study and begin to understand and apply Scripture to your life.
4. Find a Christian person of the same sex who you can become accountable to for the twelve-week period.
5. Make a commitment to pray with or at least FOR your spouse each day. (A consistent prayer life is a must for a strong marriage!)
6. Learn to leave your spouse in God's hands and trust Him to work on your mate. Learn to focus on what God wants YOU to do.
7. Learn to be tastefully transparent: Be open and honest with those you are accountable to, but do not dishonor your spouse with your "sharing."
8. Be open to Christian counseling, if necessary, to save your marriage.
9. Set aside time each week to be alone with your spouse. Go out for coffee or a meal in order to build communication skills.
10. Remember that whatever condition you were in at the beginning of the four to six month period, God is in business of performing miracles, transforming lives, and healing broken hearts.