The past belongs to the past ... or is it

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Permalink Reply by Cathy on January 19, 2011 at 2:36am

I have been struggling with that for a very long time too. Yes, we are to forgive, and not dwell on the past problems, but when the same problems keep coming up, I believe we need to deal with it, in a matter a fact way. I gathered up my courage and simply said this. "Yes the past is the past but when the same stuff keeps happening over and over, it keeps it in the present" The answer I got back was ... forgive and forget. My question was this. "Okay, so if I poke you,  it's okay, because it's in the past?" I was met with silence. I can only hope this gave food for thought to the person I was talking with. In the meanwhile, I will no longer allow myself to be part of the problem. I excuse myself, and say why. I can't deal with this over and over again. Then I pray, big time. I'll let you know how it goes :)

Permalink Reply by Edward on February 23, 2011 at 8:42am

Cathy if I may share this with you. It is said that we ought to "forgive and forget" the truth is it doesn't work that way.  We never truly forget even though we have forgiven. Let me explain. I am 65 and I still remember what happened 61 years ago. When I was about 3 or 4 years old I was sexually abused, I was physically and emotionally abused. I still remember, I have NOT forgotten nor will I. HOWEVER, I have learned to live with it, to control my thoughts. This was not a easy or swift by any means. I went for counselling and let me be quick to say God blessed me with great counsellors and friends who helped me. Talking about it with someone you trust is a positive step forward (you have taken the first step by acknowleding being unable to forget). I was shown through communicating with counsellors/friends how to live with my past without allowing my past to drag me down. Jesus said,

62 Jesus said to him, “Whoever starts to plow and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of God.”

Luke 9:62 (GW)

Basically Jesus is saying once we are committed to Him we should not looking back on our past life as it could draw us away from Him. I believe we can apply it here as well.When we start allowing the past to haunt usand sometimes it pops up because something reminds us of what happened, we can become so wrapped up in it that we loose sight of what is really important. We loose sight of our daily responsibilities, of our faith in God, our personal and family responsibilities. Yes, we need to deal with certain past events by acknowleding they happened, by understanding them (we may need some help here) and if it is something we have done we need to deal with it. Years ago a certain farmer stole hay from a neighbour and for 20 years it stuck in his conscious finally he could take no more and went to his neighbour and confessed and apologized. If the past is something that happened to you through no fault of your own then please seek help by talking to a good friend and or a counsellor. Above all, I repeat above all take it to the Lord in prayer and He will help you. Easier said than done? Yep but it works. Believe it or not but as we struggle with our problems and seek the proper guidance & help it will make us stronger both as persons and as Christians

Permalink Reply by Edward on February 28, 2011 at 8:33am

Good Morning Roger

I read your brief post here but did not get to reply to it as I had to rush off to work. The next few days were quite hectic. I intended to come back to reply. But didn't one of those reasons being I had a family member pass away. However, your words continued to "haunt" me. You see I too have lost a son. No...he hasn't died but he has made a decision to no longer be in my life as have my two daughters. Whether one has lost a son through death or other means is difficult to cope with. We never forget. We continue to remember them, we continue to love them. We take their memories and cherish them, we take what they did in life and share it with others to encourage, to build up. I don't believe we ever overcome but we learn to live with our loss by sharing our loss above all by placing our loss in God's hands who in turn wraps His loving arms around us and gently whispers,"I,too, lost a Son and I share your sorrow."

Permalink Reply by Edward on March 2, 2011 at 2:14am

Thank you Roger for your words of comfort and encouragement. I know my youngest daughter lives with her husband in New Brunswick I do not know where my other daughter and my son are. It was my youngest daughter who somehow got hold of my work e-mail and stated she didn't want to be in my will, she didn't want to be a beneficery of any insurance policy I have, etc. However, it does no good to dwell on these things so I move on.

Though I share your loss I rejoice with you that your son is with the Lord. We can all look forward to a grand re-union eh?

Permalink Reply by Ruel Z Chavez on May 25, 2011 at 4:12am

A grand reunion! I love that! Looking forward to it. I long to see you there someday...

Permalink Reply by Ruel Z Chavez on May 25, 2011 at 4:11am

" I,too, lost a Son and I share your sorrow." - Thank you Edward! This is so beautiful!