depressed and confused

i have been in and out of church all my life i have been in a baptist church and pentecostal i have been saved also but it seem's like nothing is going right at all because i'am hateful mean and i don't know why i'am also kind of a loner my wife says i would be better off living alone because of my mood swings i have prayed about it try to think before i say any thing most of the time i don't talk also we have 2 grandchildren living with us and its hard to relate to them while i'am like this i would like to add i do love God and my family i need to get back in church i know but i just need someone to talk to about this matter