Separated, Divorced, or loss of a spouse support net.

Comment

Comment by Joe Christie on August 10, 2009 at 9:00pm

firts i want thank those who have welcomed me so far.
im confused so much, i know God canfix anything ive seen him do it many times. i want this to be over iam struggling so hard to hold on to his hand. just a breif description of my situation. afriend of min was going through a hard time in his marriage so doing what i thought was the christian thing to do i opened my home and family to him just to find out i was the last to know that he was having an affair with my wife, i tried so hard to work it out, at the time i was drivin truck and God and i got so close and he show me and told me that my wife and were to be together but its not turning out that so do i let go of that, or is that giving up on God any advice and all prayer is greatly appreciated.

Comment by Paul on August 5, 2009 at 1:01pm

Dear Brother Sambhunath, if you not a Christian I pray that you will be now, Get a bible and read through the new testiment very carefully. Jesus loves you very much, but you musat getto know him and who he is.Amen look up adultery for a start it's in the ten comandments, your friend.Paul

Comment by Pastor Bob B on August 5, 2009 at 12:11pm

THROWING IN THE TOWEL
I recently listened to a young man share his testimony and he said a phase that stuck with me, “I felt like throwing in the towel.” I guess I have heard this phase many times before, but this time it stuck with me. When times are hard and it looks like we can't make ends meet, we might want to throw in the towel.

If you are a boxing fan you will be very familiar with the phase, “throwing in the towel” As a symbol that they were giving up or had had enough, the team that was losing would throw in the towel for its fighter, indicating that they had had enough and were going to accept defeat rather than carry on and risk damaging their fighter.

When we don't think that we can win, and a loss looks a grim inevitability, we might want to throw in the towel and give up.

Galatians 6:9 Paul encourages the church by sayings, “Let's not get tired of doing what is good, for at the right time we will reap a harvest-if we do not give up.”

All I can think of is a farmer who has planted all his fields with corn and one day later he goes out and waters his corn only to notice that his corn hasn't come up, and then he throws in the towel and says, “ I give up on waiting for this corn to come up.”

What is his problem? He isn't enduring the time it takes for the corn to sprout and come up.

Jesus complemented the church at Ephesus by saying; “You have endured, suffered trouble because of my name, and have not grown weary. ( Revelations 2:3)

They hadn't thrown in the towel because of the hardships they were having to endure because they were Christ followers.

We throw in the towel only when we are defeated. We give up when we feel we can't win. This is why we give up on our rebellious teenagers, we throw in the towel in our marriages, we give up on our friends who is caught in the grip if addiction, we throw in the towel at our jobs and walk out saying things are never going to change.

Throwing in the towel can be the defining quality of many of our lives even as Christians.

Thomson Edison did not exactly discover the bulb but improved it. Before Edison's experiment, the problem was that the bulb had a very short lifetime. He had to find a filament that would glow for a much longer time than before. In 1879, after performing 6,000 experiments on different materials, he observed that a carbon filament lasted the longest.

What if Thomas Edison had thrown in the towel? I do not know if I could have endured 6000 experiments, but we are all thankful today because he did.

We should also have hearts of gratitude to Jesus because he did not throw in the towel either.

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” ( Hebrews 12:2-3 )

Prayer
Father we have to admit we have thrown in the towel to soon many times because we felt that victory was beyond our grasp. Jesus has given us an example in himself that we should not throw in the towel and give up because there is always hope and victory is assured. Father forgive us for giving up on those in our churches and families also. We know that you have never and will never throw the towel in and give up on us, so help us to do the same for others. In Jesus name

Comment by Falon Starr on July 25, 2009 at 3:46pm

Ps 55 Listen to my prayer, O God and hide not yourself from my supplication!Attend to me and answer me; I am restless and distraught in my complaint I must moan.and I am distracted t the noise of the enemy, because of the oppression and threats of the wicked for they would cast trouble upon me and in wrath persecute me. My heart is grievously pained within me and the terrors of death have fallen upon me.Fear and trembling have come upon me horror and fright have overwhelmed me. And I say Oh that I had wings like a dove I would fly away and be at rest. Yes I would wander far away, I would lodge in the wilderness Selah I would hasten escape and to find a shelter from the stormy wind and tempest. Destroy their schemes O lord confuse their tongues for I have seen violence and strife in the city. Day and night they go about on its walls iniquity and mischief are in its midst.FOR IT IS NOT AN ENEMY WHO APPROACHES AND TAUNTS ME BUT IT WAS YOU A MAN MY EQUAL MY COMPANION MY FAMILIAR FRIEND WE HAD SWEET FELLOWSHIP AND USED TO WALK TO THE HOUSE OF GOD TOGETHER IN COMPANY.Let desolations and death come suddenly upon them go down alive to sheol the place of the dead for evil are in their habitations in their hearts and their innermost part.As for me I will call upon God and the Lord will save me.

Comment by Pastor Bob B on July 8, 2009 at 12:17pm

Diane I feel for you and your situation. You bring up a very good point that separation and divorce affects more than the two people who are in the middle of the situation. Our children, our extended family, our churches, and community are all affected by this break up of a marriage.

I was at a men's breakfast this morning and we were trying to support a man who was in the middle of loosing everything because his marriage was breaking up. He describe his emotional state as numb. He has small children and loves the Lord and wishes that everything could be put back together again, and it looked like it was, then everything fell apart.

I have a lot of empathy for you Diane, and for this brother I mentioned. I have been separated for 3 years at the end of this month and still feel the hurt of seeing my children 18,21,24 having to deal with their parents separately. it wasn't part of my vision for my life. I guess I dreamed of the perfect family, with perfect kids in a imperfect perfect world.

I feel really angry some times that my children are not able to have a mom and dad who are together, as I imagined. I am sure they wonder if they will ever be able to survive marriage themselves if we can't.

Some how If we as devoted followers of Christ can continue to demonstrate to our children attributes like faithfulness, devotion, and love for others that they too will follow our example. Many of us have not chosen separation, or divorce, but it was forced upon us by our spouses for many reasons.

All I know is that God can and will cause all things to work out for the good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose. Romans 5:5

God knows our situations and he will help us in our situations. He will give us wisdom to minister to our children, and he will also minister to us and help us to get through what ever situation we find our selves in.
Psalm 107 is a great scripture that shows this very thing, that God will help His children when they call out to him for help and guidance

Comment by mary jamieson on July 8, 2009 at 12:13pm

hi bob just stopping to say hi and hello and give you a big hug and blessings . i am well stopped smoking and drinking and now i am stopping over eating life is good and i feel great and alot more whole and at one with the Lord Jesus Ron and I are still talking and we realise that his brother can speak through him sometimes that is his brother hate and we can recogoinse when its not ron and not the LORDS SPIRIT LOVE ONCE AGAIN AND MANY MANY THANKS FOR YOUR PART IN LIFTING ME BACK UP MARY

Comment by Renee on May 21, 2009 at 11:24am

hi, my name is Renee and i am currently separated as of February 2009 from my husband after 10 years together. i wanted to comment on Venkah's and Christie a Dobson comments:

hi Venkah, my husband and i lived just as you are describing. we lived in the same home but like strangers. i was a housewife so i had no idea how God would deliver me out of this pit. i continued to cry out to the Lord and trusting Him. the Lord heard my cries for help, and brought me to a new state across the country in February with Christians who have taken me in. God gave them a heart to love me like i have never known before. now i wait for the next step. i have no idea how it will happen or how any of this will turn out, but God does. His timing is perfect and never late. i ask you to continue to cry out to the Lord, He will hear you and answer your prayers whether to stay or find a place for you to go. God bless you always and in JESUS+ name, Renee

"Commented by Venkah on April 27, 2008 at 5:07pm I am still married... by law... but really my husband and I live under the same roof but carry on completely seperate lives. We are like room mates who feel nothing for eachother."

hi Christie, i too have felt like a failure in my marriage, and that i failed our Lord. knowing divorce is not what we are supposed to be doing when we get married. all i ever wanted was for my marriage to work and to stand the test of time - i hate even saying i am going through a divorce - but, i was dying in my marriage - now i have a reason to live. i learned that God allows things in our life to happen to ultimately bring us closer to Him. i had to trust Him with everything i am inside, and today - i can surely say i see the Lord at work in my life- there is no doubt in my mind His hand is on me renewing me. He is merciful and all i can say is thank you LORD for giving me a new life in Your name+. i have a lot of healing to do, and still not sure how i will make it on my own - but, i rely on God to take care of it all. i am so happy you want to learn more about God and grow in Him (me too). there is nothing He can't do. please continue to cry out to Him. bring all your worries to the foot of His cross and trust your life in His glorious hands. God bless you always, and in JESUS+ name, Renee

"Commented by Christie a Dobson on January 31, 2009 at 7:52am hi there everyone i am here cause i have been separated form my husband now for three years. i going to court on Feb third to get my divorce finalized. i was married for nine years i have three kids that live with me full time. i have hard time sometimes cause i fell i like i have failed. in allot thing. first my marriage even though it wasn't a happy marriage. and that i have failed god for my marriage ending. i think that is why i joined this site so it can help me grow and learn more about god"

Comment by Sara on March 1, 2009 at 11:36am

Paul,
Our society just accepts divorce as a part of marriage and life. Fifty percent of Christians divorce. I am going through a divorce that I don't want with a partner who doesn't even want to try save our marriage. I am so angry with where we are going as a society. No one wants to stand up for what is right, for morals or integrity. If they see someone doing something unethical they justify it or just plain ignore it. I pray that God can show us how we can bring about a change in the way people are thinking and maybe raise their standards for themselves and others. I pray that God give you the strength to live your life doing what is right and hand your wife over to Him for He is the only one who can truly change her. Amen

Comment by Paul on March 1, 2009 at 7:59am

I met my Wife Sally at church, I thought wow thank you Jesus for such a wonder gift, then when we got married things were great, then bag, two chemicals exploded, a year latter i've just been given the divorse papers to sign and my wife has just had our baby daughter Martha, it seems like it's all over, she is so cold on me, doors slamming what ever i try, where's her Christian faith in this, lord please show her divorce should not be in your body,Amen
P.S this is her 3rd divorce and she is a christian? am i a fool?

Comment by Sara on February 24, 2009 at 7:16am

Yolanda,

I can't express how sorry I am for you. God is there and He loves you so very much. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea..." Psalm 46:1-2 God is within you, you will not fall; God will help you...Psalm 46:5 It is so hard to wrap your mind around a God that can love us so much and allow things like this to happen. Just remember He didn't do this but He will get you through it. It is easier said than done but you can get through this. The future may look overwhelming and daunting but God has a plan for you and it is good. Just look to Him and He will heal your wounds.
P

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