Separated, Divorced, or loss of a spouse support net.

Comment

Comment by Debra Carol Wooten on February 15, 2010 at 8:05am

Oh Yes, Bob.Once again I agree with you. We must love our those who seek to
destroy us, and to do that we must have a forgiving heart. As I told my husband, "I love him, and pray for Gods mercy to be upon him. I forgive him as he makes each mistake, He does come over to visit the baby and what ever we have we offer to share it with him, He normally declines. God will not allow me to be selfish, or have a unclean spirit. I love the Lord. My first priority is God. I must read and accept the Bible as a whole,as it is my road map to victory. Blessings from God to you Bob for your kindness.

Comment by Pastor Bob B on February 15, 2010 at 5:50am

Debra I have come to realize something about us that if we do not deal with sin in our lives that we will start to carry out the judgement upon others. Kind of like the guy who is trying to remove the sliver from another and he has a log in his own eye.

Remember Cain killed his own brother because of the sin in his own life that distorted his perception of his innocent brother.

You do not need to allow others to mistreat you. You are of value to the Lord, and your husband has abandoned you and you must not allow him to rob you of your dignity. God loves you and will provide a way to escape so you can bare up under it. Remember the enemies goal is to get you to become bitter and unforgiving toward your husband. The miracle is in forgiveness, but forgiveness does not mean that you have to continue to allow your husband to starve you or abuse you. There is help for you, just find strength from the Lord to seek out that help.

God you know all that Debra is facing, you see the evil and the good. God show Debra how to deal with her situation. I pray for the deliverance and healing of her husband also, that you will change his heart and set him free, give him a heart of repentance. I am asking for divine intervention for your honor and glory, in Jesus name amen.

Comment by Debra Carol Wooten on February 14, 2010 at 6:32pm

Bob, Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I agree with you 100%. It is easy to give God the Praise when we are on the mountain, and yet, Praising him in the deep dark valley sometimes can prove to be difficult. During these times we
definitely have to walk by faith. Although my husband has desires to starve me into submission. After all it is not his fault that he gave into the lusting spirit. He wants to punish me further.
However, the God I serve will not leave me desolate. I know that God is my
only hope in surviving any storm. I praise him for these valleys. Without valleys
we will not see victory. Victory is on its way. I have given God the Praise since
day one. I love serving God, and I have found during this trial that Satan can only knock me to my knees. And Praise God, the victory is mine. Victory is mine.

Comment by Pastor Bob B on February 14, 2010 at 1:05pm

Debra, I am glad you are here and I pray that the Body of Christ will be able to encourage you during this difficult time you are facing. God will be a present help in your time of need.

We really discover who we are when the rubber hits the road as they say. I am so encouraged that you went into the secret place and drew near to God. It is so easy to blame God for the bad behavior of others, but He will never let us down or betray us for His love never fails, never.

In the love of Jesus
Bob

Comment by Debra Carol Wooten on February 14, 2010 at 8:11am

Good Morning, I am new to this site. I love serving God. He is my refuge from the storms.
During this past Christmas i discovered that my husband had been reacquainted with an old girlfriend. Although, he did quite recently joined my Church, and still attempts to go. He told me he had been miserable for 10 years, and it was time that he was happy. My heart was broke. I broke out with hives so badly that when the swelling went down I was severely bruised. When it wasn't itching it was very painful. While in the emergency room i realized these doctors could only give me a temporary fix. I needed something more permanent. Upon arriving at home I scurried off to my closet. I needed some one on one time with the Father. Crying out to God, I never ask for this trial to pass by me, but ask to stay in the valley until God had molded me more in his image. I stayed in my closet, on my knees until I felt Jesus pass by. Needless
to say no more hives. God is helping me to continue to heal more each day. I have been blessed with my six year old daughter. So grateful to have her and God to be with me during my trials. May God Bless each soul that comes to this site.

Comment by Pastor Bob B on January 26, 2010 at 5:39pm

Sara we are glad you are here, you will find those here who are not judgmental and will support you. Separation is like being between a rock and a hard place for many of us. Hagar said of the Lord that God was a God who saw everything that she was going through when she was being abused by Sara and met her in her time of need. God loves you sister and He will also meet you at your point of need like He met Hagar.

Comment by Sara Cervantes on January 26, 2010 at 3:18pm

Hello I just found this web site and I am very excited to know that I can talk to someone who can understand a little more about my situation. We are separated rightnow but neither one of us wants to filled for divorce and I don't want to do something that I regret later, like forget about him and go on with my life. He is an unbeleiver and refuses to have something to do with church, and also loves to drink a lot, thats the reason we are separaded.

Comment by Pastor Bob B on January 26, 2010 at 7:11am

Cindy thanks for sharing your story. You made the right choice in regards to your children and your ex-husband. These last 8 years have been hard years for you, but look how well your daughter is doing now. You could have lost her forever, but because of your hard choice it is paying off for you now.

I am glad you found this group and pray that as you read others stories of how God has helped others that you will find encouragement also.

In the love of Jesus
Bob

Comment by Cindy Bockanesky on January 25, 2010 at 4:31pm

I forgot my main thought... I am so ashamed that I am divorced, not only once but twice, why is that?

Comment by Cindy Bockanesky on January 25, 2010 at 4:30pm

Hello,
I am new to the site. I have been divorced 6 years, I have thought about dating, but am too afraid. This was a second marriage for me. I was first married at 17 to a man who turned out to be very abusive. I had 2 children with him, and had the marriage annulled. The second one, we were together for 13 years. Had 1 child. We suffered numerous tragedies in a very short period of time. It was too much for him to deal with and he turned to drinking. It got so bad, he became abusive, it got to the point that children's protective services became involved, and then he still couldn't abide by the guidelines that were set out for him. It all came to a head, and I found myself sitting in a room with all these professionals who held the fate of my future in their hands. The bottom line was, if he stayed they would remove the children from the home. He was to drunk and in so much pain from his grief he was not able to make the decision, so all eyes turned to me. If I chose the man I loved, but didn't know who he had turned into, or my children... I chose my children, watched the strangers escort him home to pack and off the property. I was so beyond numb! It didn't feel real. I had my own grief that I was not able to address as I was trying to support my family. My 5 yr old daughter had a nervous break down, cried for 3 months straight. Suddenly I was a single parent of 4 at age 33 and not where I ever planned to be.
We had made plans, we had talked about a future, he walked away 6 yrs ago and has not looked back. He does not see the children, never has kept any kind of contact or dialogue open. I was forced to sell the home to cover financial responsibilities he had agreed to, it was such a horrible time in my life.
4 yrs ago, I developed a health issue, that has financially drained me. I can't seem to stop the messages in my head "No one would want to be bothered with me!" At first I focused on my children, to help the heal and get past it and dating wasn't even on my radar. Now they are older. My daughter is now a teenager, is happy, confident and independant.
I don't know what is worse the lonliness, or risk being hurt again... This is only a drop in the bucket as to what else I went through since he left.
Does anyone else relate??

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