Going through a divorce that I don't want

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sara on February 17, 2009 at 1:26pm

Tracy,

I know what you are going through. It has been almost 5 months since my husband left to start his "new" life with the other woman. Waiting is the hardest part of this whole thing. I believe that God wants us to completely rely upon Him for the strength we need to get through this. Once you give all your burdens and cares to Him, it does get easier. Patience is something that I have had to ask God for and it has been very painful growing that patience. Why do you think my screen name is Patience, it is not because I have an abundance of it? In the end this experience has strengthened me, my faith and hope in the Lord, it has actually made me greatful for the experience. I think that is why God gives us these trials so we see that we are completely dependant on Him and we can get to know Him better and become closer. The best advice I can give you is take this time that your husband is away and work on yourself and your relationship with God. God is the only one who can change hearts so you must trust Him to do the part that you have no control over and meanwhile invest some serious time on your Spirit within. Let Him do His work on you, He wants you to become the woman you were meant to be through Him. This verse has meant a lot to me lately and hopefully it will mean something to you "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and gloriy your Father which is in heaven." Matt. 5:16
Patience (Sara)

Permalink Reply by Tracy on February 17, 2009 at 6:52pm

Patience and Bob,
Thank you both so much for responding and know that you will be in my prayers tonight. Today i read Psalm 46:10 after finding it mentioned in a book i was reading. Be still and know that I am God. So much insrtuction and advice in one short sentence. I learned the difference between lonely and lonesome. Lonesome is when your alone and someone will be home, lonely is when there is no one coming home. I am letting God be my husband while mine is not here. I am focusing on changing and while i have made some progress i see alot of work left on me. I am also focused on making sure my boys dont feel like they are in the same vortex that I am. Again, thank you for the advice and prayers and they will be returned.

Love in Jesus,
Tracy

Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on February 17, 2009 at 1:42pm

Tracy I have written a blog on my page about companionship that might help you in what you are facing. I never felt loneliness in my life until I was separated from my wife of 25 years. God has helped me in so many ways to deal with it in the two years and 7 months that I have been separated.
God helped me to be proactive in my life. I realised that the only person that I could change was me. If my wife would come back to the Lord and we would reconcile, There are many things in my life that would not change. I am a complete person in Jesus Christ. In my marriage I would be able to be a much better companion because of my journey. My hope and prayer is that God will heal and restore your family.

In the love of Jesus
Bob

Permalink Reply by Tracy on February 17, 2009 at 7:02pm

I've done all I can to please you
But I can't wipe away that frown
I'm letting go, that's how much I love you
It's in God's hands now
I gave you my heart forever
And I will keep that solemn vow
But I can't put us back together
It's in God's hands now



Lord knows I cried and cried
Cause I don't want to lose you
I tried, yes, I tried
But if I'm not the one who moves you
I won't hold you down


My head is in a cloud of sorrow
But my feet are on the ground
There's hope for us as long as there's tomorrow
It's in God's hands now


Author unknown

Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on February 18, 2009 at 6:07am

Tracy I have this poem in a song some place. I haven't located it yet will make sure i share it with you. I love the line;
There's hope for us as long as there's tomorrow. It's in God's hands now

Permalink Reply by Jennifer McCarthy Mitchell on May 15, 2009 at 4:23pm

I also have went thrrough this except the other woman was not just that but my best friend. Come to find out there were many women not just one. I do however think that if you are waiting for him to come back you might just prolong the pain. I felt the same way. I lost everything mine is such a long story. God is with you and he will take care of you but your husband might not come back, but that doesnt mean god isnt there for you. He works in mysterious ways, and we dont always get the answers we want but he does provide what we need even if at the time it doesnt seem like it. i will pray for you

Permalink Reply by Jennifer McCarthy Mitchell on May 15, 2009 at 4:27pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtesMRmM1hI

Permalink Reply by Maggie Flagg on March 24, 2010 at 9:08pm

Sara,
It's been a couple years now, How are you doing? I too went through exactly what your husband said to you. It came at 2a.m.! He blind sided me big time! That was almost 13 years ago. We were married 20 years. 22 by the time the divorce was final. A woman at work...they got married in 2001. I am still alone. Had a couple relationships, but I am happy with just God and me now. I would love God to bring me a Godly man, but have resigned myself knowing it's all in his timing and his will. I've become much closer to the Lord because of it too. Things work out for good who love him. My ex was a non believer. I shouldn't of married him, but I was in love...and now this is where I'm at. It's ok. I've accepted my path with God. I get lonely, but I know God is always with me. I talk alot to him, like he is standing beside me. I don't do it around others....I don't want them to think I'm nuts, but I don't hide my love for the Lord either. I just hope you are better now. I don't even know if you'll be reading this since it's been 2 years. I hope you are well and happy. Bless you...
Maggie

Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on March 25, 2010 at 6:59am

Maggie thanks for sharing how God has helped you through a very difficult situation and sharing how God has used even a bad situation to bring you to the wonderful place you are with the Lord.

Permalink Reply by Maggie Flagg on March 25, 2010 at 12:51pm

Thanks Bob...yah I am where I'm suppose to be. I am not in a good place health wise, but this pain I've had is why also I have grown closer to God. It seems like between the divorce and after I turned 50, the old body just went bonkers!! I guess stress plays a big role. I hope you are well and happy in this life too. Bless you....Maggie

Permalink Reply by Pastor Bob B on March 25, 2010 at 6:50pm

Thats funny because i am 50 with a chronic pain problem who just was divorced also. Man the stress thing just makes everything worse. May God give you grace and help in your time of need. May your testimony be as Paul's was, that His grace is enough.

Permalink Reply by Maggie Flagg on March 25, 2010 at 7:14pm

Wow! I've got ya beat in years by almost 8 in July! Been dealing with pain for about 2 years. Been divorced 11 years this July. It has gotten alot easier accepting the divorce, but I don't think we will ever get over it. It affects not only us, but everyone of our friends and family. It stinks to say the least and it was something I tried so hard to avoid. Guess I didn't try hard enough! .I guess it wouldn't be so bad but my daughters 28 and 29 & 1/2 don't want me in their lives. I haven't seen my oldest in 9 years and my youngest in just over 3. I think it's worse than the divorce itself on my heart. Anyway, I hope it doesn't take you so long to get over. I wish you peace and know that God will get you through it. It's his time, not ours.

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