All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

Where Do I Start?

I am not really new here. When I first joined The Net, I sort of got distracted by other social networking sites. Lately though, these sites have eaten too much of my time.I started resenting the real world in favor of my virtual reality.So now, I am back here again to sort myself and find what I should do about myself, my life and everything else that is bothering me.

I have a lot of questions. Questions that I could never really asked from others. I am a Roman Catholic. I do not hear the mass on Sundays. I read the Bible at times but not often. I am not a member of any Christian group or organization. I do not belong in any church. In short, I am totally alone in my effort to learn His ways.

I grew up in a family where Christ is not at the center. He is more often placed in the background. My parents do not hear the mass themselves and when I used to sing in the choir when I was young, I was often teased or ridiculed especially when I behave badly.I was also not able to find any satisfaction during the mass but I do love spending some time inside the Parish Church when no one is in there.My siblings grew up just like I did. We do not have a very strong foundation that's why we are a disturbed lot. The big blow came when my parents separated. We cracked under the pressure and I almost committed suicide. Then, it seemed as if He intervened because outside our home, a Churhc-based group of singers passed by outside our house singing about His great love. I cried and cried and I felt sorry for even thinking about killing myself.

Despite my efforts to learn about Him, it was never enough. I do not have a support system to sustain me during rocky times because as I have said, I was really alone. No one is there to talk to, to ask, or to simply share my fears and doubts about what is going on in my life.

I was often consumed by confusion. I cannot make myself join the Catholic organizations here in our place because I am too shy. Every time I pray (do I even know how to pray?), I end up begging God to speak to me...but I hear nothing. It's like I cannot really hear Him, feel Him...like I am really alone (and I often tell others I like being alone)... but not that alone.

Where do I start? What do I do next? I do not even know how to explain my problem ? So, how do I solve it?

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Permalink Reply by David Abel on March 16, 2011 at 2:31am

Hi Heaven

I do not presume to know exactly what you are going through, only God knows, but I can say that the walk of a true Christian, a true disciple of Christ can oftentimes be lonely. Whether surrounded by people/family or not, the walk can be lonely... for someone just starting out their true Christian walk with God and even for mature Christians many years in the Lord...

In these times, turn to God’s Word and let His Word speak to you. Draw close to God through times of prayer and meditation and through prayerful reading of His Word. He will draw close to you. Sometimes God feels far from us, but He is always there, always guiding and leading, especially those who are His very own. Many times He doesn’t speak in ways that we expect, but He is speaking. Tune in your spiritual ears to His leading, guidance and voice.

I went through times in recent years of feeling completely isolated from others and from God (through circumstances happening around me), yet within my spirit I knew that God was not finished with me, and that He was using those times to build up / strengthen my relationship with Him, and to build up Godly character in me. I’ve learnt much from those lonely and alone times / experiences that nothing and no-one else could have taught me, except the Holy Spirit with me during those times.

God did in time connect me to true brothers and sisters in Christ who now fill the social/family/friendship gap, if I can call it that. We are not to live our Christian walk in isolation / separation from other believers. So also pray during this time that God will connect you to true brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ who will lift you up / edify you, and also to a Church where you will grow and mature in Jesus Christ / your Christian walk.

I will also be bold in saying this – even though born into a certain Church group / denomination, keep your mind and spirit open to joining a different Church group / denomination to what you were used to / brought up in. I have experienced that the Churches I attended previously and the Christianity / Christian principles I was taught growing up did only so much in my walk with God, until God led me to a different Church were I started experiencing greater changes, victories, blessings, and maturity, like never before. God can use what we were brought up in up to a certain point, and can then lead us elsewhere for further growth, maturity and development in Him. Keep this in mind.

May God be with you and guide you during this time.

Psalm 138:8a – The Lord will perfect that which concerns me...

God Bless,

David A.

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Permalink Reply by Heaven on March 16, 2011 at 4:05am

Thank you. That was very encouraging. It does feel lonely because it feels as if what you believe in does not coincide with the goals of this world. People become suspect of your intentions when you act in a "christian" way. I was often told to eschew my principles just to get ahead in this world - that is where the conflict sets in. I get so confused.

I am afraid of making any changes in my life right now. As a Catholic, my grandmother feels strongly about changing denomination (do we call it that?). I attended a Baptist pre-school so I guess a portion of my belief system had that early foundation.

How do I go about joining a different church/sect/congregation?

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Permalink Reply by Heaven on March 16, 2011 at 4:13am

Thank you.I'll check out the site you mentioned.

What denomination did you join? How did you feel? How did your family react? My grandmother will really hate this idea, I know. She resented my grandfather's decision to take part in the activities of a different church/denomination when he was still alive.

Where did you get the courage and the desire to change or go a different way? Right now, I really do not know where to head to. Some of my friends have invited me to join their Singles for Christ, but I don't know. I want to join an organization/church/denomination that could fill the thirst i feel to get to know Christ...and make Him a part of my life...

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Permalink Reply by Rita Cullimore on March 16, 2011 at 5:00am

Heaven,

I think that one of the reasons that *The Walk* feels lonely at times is because there or so many Christians whose beliefs differ from our own. There are many thing in the Bible that are not taught, being replaced by man's theology. If Holy Spirit leads you in a particular direction, man speaks against it, who does one believe? Satan manipulates us, trying to get us to follow man instead of God. If you stick to your knowledge that Holy Spirit gives you, and reject man's teaching, it will be a lonely walk. However, learn to stick to Holy Spirit's teachings and your walk will be more satisfying because it is truth.

Stay in the Word, believe what it says, and man's word will show his own errors. Keep God at the head of everything. He doesn't store well in a closet.

Where Do I Start?

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