Today, my colleagues launched into a discussion of what love is. My colleagues are not Christians.
There's a lot of opinions, and everyone understands love as feelings, emotions, passion and something like that. And me too put my point. I said, that there is always a standard and a standard of love it`s our Lord.Man has always behaved badly towards him,was a sinner, is not obedient and often hurts Him, but in spite of our behavior and our shortcomings God loves us and He even sacrificed His own life for us. Because He loves us.
So love is something more than just emotions, affection or passion, because our emotions are changed every hour and we can not rely on it. Love is not emotions.
Love is a choice and if you decided to love the person you should be ready to forgive him as much as necessary, to sacrifice for him and be close to this person, always and everywhere
.Jesus does so.
But one of my colleagues told me the following... "Listen, my husband so much beat me, that I was need a doctors help. He had inflicted such harm to my health, I am now disabled. And you mean to tell me that I should forgive him, take care of him and to sacrifice anything for him? " And I haven`t found what I can answered for her I was embarrassed by her question.
What would you answer her?
And how do you think what love is?.
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Hello Vicky,
Does are difficult questions to answer without knowing the particulars and details, not to mention that we do not know, if the person going through the abuse is born again or not.
However there are some generalities that I can venture in commenting, but again, without specifics is very difficult to comment adequately.
First of all, if someone (Christian or non-Christian) is being abuse to the point of becoming disabled they have to report that person to the local authorities. If the local authorities do not deal with such situations for whatever reason, than that person should separate from the person when possible. I know that there are a multitude of reasons why that is not possible at times, but when possible it should be done. No one should live under such abuse. I am not talking about divorce, but separation.
We don't forgive anyone because they deserve forgiveness just as Christ did not forgive us because we earned his forgiveness. God saved us out of His grace and mercy; hence we forgive others because we have received such an amazing Grace. God gives us so much grace, so we can also give it to those who don't deserve it. First though a person must experience the saving grace of God in order to understand it and then share it.
If the person that asked you the questions is not born again, it will be impossible for them to understand the basis for biblical forgiveness.
God give you wisdom to lovingly respond with hope to a person going through so much is my prayer for you.
1 Corinthians 13
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes,what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
As far as the lady is concerned, yes she should forgive him because Jesus said if you don't forgive each other, the Father won't forgive you. Now, that doesn't mean she should go back to get put in the hospital. The unforgiveness holds her prisoner. Once she truly forgives him, she will find freedom.
I would tell her that forgiveness isn't for him, but for her. As long as she remains unforgiving, he still has control over her. He's controlling her emotions, her heart. She's bitter and angry inside, which is affecting her health and her relationship with God. Forgiveness is for her healing and not for her abuser. Forgiveness means she has decided to let go of her anger against this person so that she can be healed and whole and so she is not controlled any longer by these emotions that his actions brought upon her.
Tell her to leave him. NOW! Like right now call her up and tell her to leave. If she does not leave she is facilitating the abuse. She also has a responsibility to herself and to him to keep him from beating her up and that act of responsibility is to leave.
TELL HER TO LEAVE! NOW! Then she can forgive him. She doesn't have to stay with him. He will come looking for her because thats what they do. She needs to stand strong and with GODs help recognize the codependant behavior that is working in both of them and tell her husband when he does come back on his knees "NO!" and never return unless he is baptized in Jesus NAME and filled with the gift of the HOLY GHOST and speaks in tongues every day then maybe she can return.
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