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We all have a specific reason why we came to God. Was it because you feared being sent to hell? Was it because you were looking for a better way? Or, was it because of His great love for humanity?

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Because my life was a mess and I was tired of making all the wrong decisions, I was in complete turmoil, wanting to change, wanting something better of my life, wanting to be useful and a better person, but too afraid to go to the altar because of being shamed so much in life that I feared public displays.  So God sent an evangelist to me rather than wait on me to go to the altar.

The kindness of God led me to repentance.

I was saved by the Lord at an early age, so my story is not about finding Him, but rather coming back to Him after many years of living in rebellion. The long and short of it is that God used a series of circumstances (3 in all) to awaken me and move me to where He wanted me to be. In 1992 I came to the end of myself and cried out to God acknowledging I couldn't live this way any longer. I desired to turn my life over to Him and asked Him to take complete control. That was step one. The desire to turn over my life was there, but it did not happen in an instance. This has been a process over many years with some ebb and flow, but the desire has never faded. There are still times self (the old man) gets in the way.

 

Lord Bless,

LT

Thank you so much for that.  Just something I really needed to hear today.

Seek

As LT has shared, we all fall short.  His Love makes up the difference.  I have failed Him so many times,  in so many ways.  His Love has just always called me back each time.  As I have shared with you many times Seek, I am not the poster child of how one should be.  Yet, I still hear His Voice, and do my best to obey.

Well it's not so much the falling short part though I guess that's some of it.  But it's "The desire to turn over my life was there, but it did not happen in an instance. This has been a process over many years with some ebb and flow, but the desire has never faded."

This is just a discussion I had this morning of the discouragement and doubting that creeps in and wondering why God won't just pull that out of me...why not just get it down from my head to my heart overnight and stop all the struggling with doubts that keep coming up?  Cause I've turned it over to Him, but it keeps falling back on me.  And when someone then starts this stuff about surrendering or letting go and letting God, etc., I get more frustrated cause I have and have and have.  Yet every time I let go, the doubt comes right back.  I keep letting it go, it keeps coming back.  And I just want to find the promised peace and joy and never ever waiver and that is going to require something of God to get this from head to heart...so I wonder why He hasn't done that.  I ask why He "zaps" others with an overnight revelation or change and some of us seem to struggle with growing through things.  So to hear a pastor talk of the process and how it's not been overnight.....that's a load different than what I hear from my own pastor. 

In the same way we build strength in our bodies.  While we are in the thick of things we have trouble understanding.  After time we see how we have grown.  What we asked, "Why'" about, turns into Praise after time.  It is the fact that you continue, in the hard times.  Growth and understanding come from doing what you are struggling with right now.  Sis know this you are not alone.  I should be in a Very different place in my own mind.  Yet, I am still working, just as you are.  Those "overnight" experiences, I have not had them.  God shows me things, I share them, it never means I have mastered them.

Char,
I get so frustrated with all of it, too, and to the point where I feel so hopeless that I think I might as well fall in step with those attitudes -- can't beat 'em, so join 'em. But we all have preformed attitudes, positions, opinions, and expectations. That's what mind renewal is all about. I can certainly identify with finding God at a young age and then needing to come back to God, more than once, and each time, God was very kind and brought me back to Him and gave me repentance and I find I still am repenting, am in an ongoing state of it. I have received loads of advice for three years. Stop being angry. Forgive. Trust God. Suck it up and have faith. Get over yourself and perform to the best of your ability to please God whether you have hope in this life or not because you at least get to be one of the few not going to Hell, etc ... My hopelessness just worsens. I'm thankful for those who do understand maturing in faith and how each of us has a journey with God and are at differing stages.

Mischelle,

 I remember when I was a child I talked to God and believed of His existence. I had no doubt He was real, but I don't remember if I ever heard of  what being born again is. The only thing I knew about Jesus was  people hung his pic on their walls. When I was grown the first time I took notice of who this Jesus was was when a friend and co worker had started going to church. Through out the months after , I noticed how she went from being a punk who didn't give a squat about anybody to a person who  did care and joyful. She told me so much about Jesus and His love. Later I ended up saying the sinners prayer and believed at the time I was saved. I think back now and think that it wasn't God calling me but my own desire to just have the joy the friend/co-worker did.

Janie,

 

It sounds to me that the Lord used that "friend" to draw you to himself and the desire you had to be joyful is a desire that God has placed in us as well. :)

I agree with David. There's a reason God is stuck in your head. You can't change your mind ... And especially once God has changed it.

Janie, I agree with Amanda and David. 

my own two cents, ...you just need to know who you are In Christ and then rest in that truth.

 

Love you, Carla

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