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Unconditional love - truthaccordingtoscripture.com

Note: The term "unconditional love" is not found in Scripture; none of the church fathers ever used the term; nor did any other Christian author before the 20th century. Ironically, far from being a Biblical term it was actually coined by Erich Fromm, an atheist, in 1934. He rejected all forms of authoritarian government including God's. Not only did he not see God’s love as unconditional He portrayed the God of the Old Testament as a self-seeking authoritarian. As an atheist he argued against the fundamentals of the Christian faith.

Among the stellar emotional needs of humanistic psychology are unconditional acceptance, unconditional self-regard, unconditional self-acceptance, and unconditional love. The usual meaning of the word unconditional is "without conditions or reservations; absolute." The practical extension of the theories of unconditional love is a permissive attitude and a morally nonrestrictive atmosphere. That means no conditions or restrictions in child rearing, counseling, and other human relationships. It must be an absolute love, unrestricted by human feelings or failings, since the very meaning of the word is "absolute."

But, if there is any absolute when it comes to love, it is that human love is limited. It is not what it was originally created to be, even in the best of people and circumstances, except when Jesus Himself is loving in and through a person.

Humanistic psychologists Alfred Adler and Abraham Maslow considered these "unconditionals" to be basic human needs, essential to a person's sense of well-being. They taught that people need to be loved and accepted unconditionally -- without any conditions of performance. Thus, their followers also teach and encourage all people to love and accept themselves unconditionally.

Men such as Adler, Maslow, and Rogers believed that a human being would find answers to his own dilemmas and naturally blossom into his best self in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance (by which they meant a permissive, unstructured atmosphere). Nevertheless, as much as they would like to think that they themselves loved their clients unconditionally, the truth of the matter is this: people are NOT able to love unconditionally.

The Myth of Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is a myth. That is because humans are naturally self-biased and the human heart is so deceitful that one can fool himself into thinking that he is loving unconditionally, when in fact he has all kinds of conditions. For instance, what kind of "unconditional" love is at work when the psychiatrist's client can no longer pay for services and therapy is discontinued?

Related Videos

Is God's Love Unconditional?

John MaCarthur and R. C. Sproul discuss the seriousness of the error of teaching that God's love is unconditional.

The Myth of Unconditional Love

Is God's love unconditional? Yes, and no. In this video, we discuss in what sense God loves us unconditionally, and in what sense he loves us conditionally.

Unconditional love cannot be based upon performance or it wouldn't be unconditional. Therefore, it must be based on the intrinsic worth of the person. Paul Brownback, in his book The Danger of Self-Love, explains it this way:

"... by unconditional love we are speaking of love on the basis of being rather than doing. One implication of this teaching is the place of grandeur that it gives to the human being. I am lovable just because I am human; therefore being human, in and of itself, regardless of what I do with my humanness, must have some sort of independent value or worth. It is by itself a sufficient claim to respect and esteem" (p. 66).

Thus, according to the self theories, everyone is born with the right to receive unconditional love and unconditional acceptance throughout his entire life, no matter what!

James Dobson, one of the chief proponents of unconditional love, believes that all people need it. Dobson declares: "I'm convinced the human spirit craves this kind of unconditional love and experiences something akin to 'soul hunger' when it cannot be achieved." Then as an extra bonus, Dobson brings God in as the primary person who gives this unconditional love and acceptance -- he says "God's acceptance is unconditional." Dobson is not alone in that conclusion. A host of well-respected professing Christian leaders describe God's love as unconditional.

Pastors should have been alert to the subtleties of deception that would turn a believer's eyes from God to self. But alas, rather than warning the sheep, many of the "shepherds" have joined the psychologists and embrace their teachings of unconditional love and acceptance.

Fallen Away

The basis for their eager embrace is a misunderstanding of "the love of Christ which passeth knowledge" (Eph. 3:19). They equate unconditional love and acceptance with the fact that God's love is vast, unfathomable, and unmerited. Then they follow that with the idea that if God loves and accepts people unconditionally, they should also love and accept themselves unconditionally. While this may sound like a logical progression, there are some serious problems with the basic assumptions.

Therefore, we must address the question: Is God's love unconditional? Or are there any conditions that must be met to become a recipient of His love?

Paul prayed that the believers in Ephesus would be able to comprehend the length, width, depth, and height of God's love. He desired that they know the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge, so that they would be filled with the fullness of God (Eph. 3:16-19). The wide expanse of God's love has been the theme of the gospel throughout the ages, for to know His love is to know Him. Therefore, any consideration of His love is highly important and must be based upon His revelation of Himself rather than upon the imagination of men.

Love According to Secular Humanism

Ever since the rise of secular humanism in this country, and especially since the establishment of humanistic psychology, the popular, "relevant" term to describe God's love has been unconditional. The thrust of this word in humanistic psychology has been both to give and to expect unconditional love from one another with no strings attached. While unconditional love and acceptance supposedly promote change and growth, they make no requirements. But God, who is love, requires change and enables his children to grow in righteousness.

In humanistic psychology, parents and society are always the culprits. Since they believe that every person is born with intrinsic worth and innate goodness, psychologists contend that one main reason people experience emotional and behavioral problems is because they have not received unconditional love from their parents. Following that thesis, Christians have come to believe that the best kind of love is unconditional love. It is the highest love secular humanists know. It is touted as a love that makes no demands for performance, good behavior, or the like. It has also been associated with a kind of permissiveness, since it makes no demands and has no conditions, even though the promoters of the unconditional love jargon would say that unconditional love does not have to dispense with discipline.

God's Love Revealed through Scripture

Because the concept of unconditional love permeates society and because it is often thought of as the highest form of human love, it is natural for a Christian to mistakenly use this term to describe God. After all, His love is far greater than any human love imaginable. God's love for humanity is so great that "He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). Oh, the magnitude of the cost! We cannot even fathom His love even though our very breath depends upon it! His love indeed reaches to the heights and depths. But again, is God's love truly unconditional?

God's love is available to human beings by grace alone. There is nothing that men can do to earn that love. There is no good work that is either demanded or even possible. But does that make God's love unconditional? "That whosoever will" is most certainly not a work, but it is a condition. Otherwise we would end up with universalism (all people saved) rather than salvation by grace received through faith.

God chooses upon whom He will place His love and the benefits of His love. Did Jesus ever imply that God's love is unconditional? He said to His disciples:

"He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth Me: and he that loveth Me shall be loved of My Father, and I will love him, and will manifest Myself to him" (John 14:21).

One might argue that the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11ff) proves unconditional love (as Charles Stanley teaches). It indeed illustrates the vastness of God's love, forgiveness, and longsuffering. However, the son repented! If he had a prosperous evil life he may never have repented. And while the father would have waited and hoped, he would not have extended his love. After all, he did not go out searching for him to support his folly.

Up to a point, this seems to indicate unconditional love, and yet, God is not waiting in ignorance, not knowing what those for whom His Son died might be doing. It is difficult enough to understand God's love without adding the term unconditional love which is loaded with secular, humanistic, psychological connotations. The story of the prodigal son teaches grace, forgiveness and mercy -- but unconditional love? No!

While God loves with a greater love than humans can comprehend, His holiness and justice also must be taken into consideration. Therefore, the term unconditional love is inadequate for defining God. It does not account for God's reaction to pompous men who devise plans against Him and His anointed. The psalmist goes so far as to say:

"He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak to them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure" (Psalm 2:4-5).

And what about Lot's wife as she turned to look at the smoldering cities? Or what about Jesus' words to the cities that refused to repent? Does this sound like unconditional love?:

"Woe to thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the day of judgment, than for you. And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted unto heaven, shalt be brought down to hell ... it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for thee" (Matthew 11:21-24).

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tammy on June 23, 2017 at 11:59pm

I read the first half & thought what an incredible article. I had never even thought about this before. As I was scrolling down I seen I still had a novel left to read. lolol. Great post though.

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Permalink Reply by Aryavrit Travels on July 6, 2017 at 3:56am

Yes, this article is amazing........... Thanks Friend for that article

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Permalink Reply by thewatchman on June 24, 2017 at 4:35pm

Thanks Tammy, I thought it was good too.....I found it interesting, mostly because preachers preach God's unconditional love....instead of saying there is nothing you can do to make God love you less, they should be saying there is nothing you can do that God won't forgive if you seek repentance worthy unto salvation.

2 Corinthians 7:10--For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

Judas I'm reminded had wordly repentance.

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Permalink Reply by JB on June 24, 2017 at 9:25pm

Are you saying that God's Love is conditional? There is nothing you can do to merit God's love. God loved us when we were yet sinners, even before we knew we needed forgiveness, God sent His Son to die for the sin of the world. Your occasional sin does not diminish His Love, If a man says he has no sin, he deceives himself, and if he says he never sinned he calls God a liar. He says also that if we confess our sin He is faithful an just to for give us our sin, and to cleanses us from all unrighteousness. Notice, He does not say if we ask Him to forgive us. The confession of our sins is for our benefit, it frees your mind, because He is not imputing your trespasses against us. So why would you be asking Him for something He has already given you? 1 John 2:12 (KJV)
¹² I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake. Question? when were they forgiven?

I know that some of you think this is sloppy agape, but this is what the Word says, not me.

Galatians 3:3 (KJV)
³ Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?

Galatians 3:2-5 (KJV)
² This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?
³ Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?
⁴ Have ye suffered so many things in vain? if it be yet in vain.
⁵ He therefore that ministereth to you the Spirit, and worketh miracles among you, doeth he it by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?

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Permalink Reply by thewatchman on June 28, 2017 at 9:07pm

Did you read the article JB? Or just scan it? 'If" is an important word.

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Permalink Reply by thewatchman on June 28, 2017 at 9:35pm

God's love is conditional JB, if it weren't then why would people be going to hell???

The article that I posted, perhaps you should reread it again. I love you my friend, but I feel as of now..that absolutely anything I post you will be negative about. Thats okay, but please read the article before responding. Thanks and much love coming your way.

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Permalink Reply by JB on July 1, 2017 at 1:31am

Yes Watchman, I did read all of the article, and what I glean out of it is, it is not written from a NEW CREATION perspective, but a use of secular, humanistic, psychological connotations by psychologists Alfred Adler and Abraham Maslow, they do not describe, or compare, or reference, God’s kind of love in every statement that they talked about love, rather it was more toward the secular, humanistic form of love in several places. They quoted more of the teachings of other psychiatrist and writers, more than using scripture “in context” I find this pretty disturbing, that these educated men, claiming to be Christians, and teaching others that the Love of God is conditional, and not on what Christ has done for us, that we have to be so squeaky clean before we can be born again, shows that they have a form of godliness, but denying the power there of. Study, not just read 1Cor.13. study also the post I sent the other day on 1Cor:13 from the Amp. Bible. Makes it a little easier to understand. The Ten Commandments becomes my personality after I was born again, Christianity to me is not a religion, it is not a system of ethics. It is not a set of rules to guide my conduct, but it is a union with Deity.

Quote!

Not only did he not see God’s love as unconditional He portrayed the God of the Old Testament as a self-seeking authoritarian. As an atheist, he argued against the fundamentals of the Christian faith. (remember he is an atheist, and can’t understand the things of the Spirit of God)

1 Corinthians 2:11-14 (KJV)
¹¹ For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.
¹² Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.
¹³ Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.
¹⁴ But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

“unconditional, definition”; "without conditions or reservations; absolute, or unqualified." A little conjecture; Your performances does not impress, nor does it diminish, or negate His love for the world; what did you, or the world have to do to merit God’s love? Though the word conditional, is not used in the bible, doesn’t mean that it isn’t unconditional in light of scripture. As is the word “trinity but we know that there is a trinity that makes up the God Head, in light of the Word of God, don’t we.?”

“Quote” But, if there is any absolute when it comes to love, it is that human love is limited. It is not what it was originally created to be, even in the best of people and circumstances, except when Jesus Himself is loving in and through a person.

(but we are not talking about human love) (philos); to be a friend to (fond of [an individual or an object]), i.e. have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; while
Strong's Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary.

Quote! The Myth of Unconditional Love Unconditional love is a myth. That is because humans are naturally self-biased and the human heart is so deceitful that one can fool himself into thinking that he is loving unconditionally, when in fact he has all kinds of conditions. For instance, what kind of "unconditional" love is at work when the psychiatrist's client can no longer pay for services and therapy is discontinued?

I will reiterate, we are not talking about HUMAN love, but God’s Love as being unconditional.

“Quote” John MaCarthur and R. C. Sproul discuss the seriousness of the error of teaching that God's love is unconditional.,

Too me to preach/teach any other way would be more serious, and detrimental to a young, new Christians walk with the Lord, because it would instill a fear in most weak Christians, that God doesn’t love them anymore, because of their inability to keep the Ten Commandments.

“Quote” Thus, according to the self theories, everyone is born with the right to receive unconditional love and unconditional acceptance throughout his entire life, no matter what!

Only God can love like that!

“Quote” Therefore, we must address the question: Is God's love unconditional? Or are there any conditions that must be met to become a recipient of His love?

This is the Gospel, your sins are forgiven, and He is not imputing our trespasses against us. The only condition for us to enter Heaven, or the Kingdom of God, is to accept this wonderful gift of salvation offered to everyone that will believe on Him ”CHRIST” Now if you want to interpret “believing in Him” as conditional for entering Heaven, then you’re right, however this is not talking about your sins being forgiven, He died once for all, He doesn’t have to make that sacrifice again when one comes to the knowledge of Him, and accept Him as their savior, He died for the “SIN OF THE WORLD” SO He doesn’t have to do it, again and again, every time a person comes to Him for salvation, or every time you sin.

“Quote” God's Love Revealed through Scripture

God's love is available to human beings by grace alone. We have access by faith into this grace! Ro.5:2

“Quote” There is nothing that men can do to earn that love. There is no good work that is either demanded or even possible. But does that make God's love unconditional? "That whosoever will" is most certainly not a work, but it is a condition. Otherwise we would end up with universalism (all people saved) rather than salvation by grace received through faith.

God chooses upon whom He will place His love and the benefits of His love. Did Jesus ever imply that God's love is unconditional? He said to His disciples:

"He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth Me: and he that loveth Me shall be loved of My Father, and I will love him, and will manifest Myself to him" (John 14:21)

All of the, preceding statements, would be a contradiction of scripture, in light of; Matthew 22:37-40 (KJV)
³⁷ Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
³⁸ This is the first and great commandment.
³⁹ And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
⁴⁰ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

All the promises were given to Abraham and his seed, He says, not unto seeds as of many, but unto thy seed, which is Christ. So the promises were given to Christ, and now that I am in Christ, and Christ in me, now I can claim those promises as mine, because He is my Righteousness, Redemption, Wisdom, and Sanctification. I am a new creation, created in Christ Jesus. We are to be dead unto sin, but alive unto God, and sin shall not have dominion over me. When the Word becomes a reality, rather than a theory, then we could walk as Christ did while on earth. See if we were new creation-conscious, as conscious of the fact that we are a New Creation and have the Life and Nature of the Father in us, as we are of the things of the senses, then we would walk in the realm of victory.

If you read what I wrote a few days ago, you will see that my love for you and others is not based on whether or not you love me, but it is the love of God and His grace reflecting through me.

Lord Bless. JB

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Permalink Reply by JB on July 2, 2017 at 8:45pm

God's love is conditional JB,

Watchman, this I really have a hard time understanding how one can read the Word of God, and say that God’s love is conditional. Being born again is conditional, Christ living in you is conditional, but God’s love for you is un-conditional. I believe when a person says that , the Word hasn’t become a reality to him, but in theory only. We are transformed by the renewing of the mind.

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Permalink Reply by thewatchman on July 4, 2017 at 8:52pm

How can everything be conditional.....and then God's love be unconditional. Please, just give me Scripture that verifies this JB. Nothing in Scripture says this....so how can you???

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Permalink Reply by JB on July 5, 2017 at 12:15pm

Watchman, I, like you, I’m sure; desire not to argue this subject, thank God for the Spirit that checks our spirit when we are on the verge of disputes, especially when it comes to His Holy Word.

James 3:13-18 (KJV)
¹³ Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
¹⁴ But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
¹⁵ This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
¹⁶ For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
¹⁷ But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
¹⁸ And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

I believe God Loved me long before I even knew there was a God, and He’d still loves me, “even if I didn’t love Him” He would still love me, and I don’t believe His love is predicated on my performance.

So, I am not going to try and convince, or prove anything, this is just how I see God’s love, others see it differently, but that doesn’t change, or alter my love for you, or them.

I know this would ruffle the feathers of some, when I have told others there’s a lot of people going to hell with their sins forgiven. Leaning against the water-well of life, and dying of thirst. The Holy Spirit says “COME”

There’s so many scriptures that allude to the “unconditional love of God” as it is with the trinity.

Revelation 22:17 (KJV)
¹⁷ And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.

Other than accepting, or coming to Him, it sounds unconditional to me.

Blessings to you my friend.