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i'm having a hard time. every day i go back and forth sometimes a dozen times between confidently looking to Jesus' righteousness for my hope on the one hand, and feeling like i must be lost due to my own daily sin and lack of evidence of conversion on the other. it has me wondering if i'm truly converted.

before conversion i had thoughts of, "you aren't good enough, look at your sin!" and by God's grace was shown that my sin is very serious but that Christ's redemption is sufficient to cover them all.

now that I have been converted (i hope), the thoughts come, "you aren't good enough, where is the evidence of your power over sin?!"

grace taught me to disregard the accusing 'voice' that said my sin was too great to be forgiven by Christ's sacrifice.

but what am i to do with these post-conversion thoughts? could it be that this post-conversion 'voice' is the Holy Spirit telling me that i haven't truly been converted?

where i get really fearful and confused is verses like the following which say who will and will not inherit the Kingdom of God, "For this you know,[a] that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them." Ephesians 5: 5-7

if I'm honest with my heart, there is covetousness in there and i'm sure forms of idolatry. i see a laziness in my bones.

and Jesus said, "why do you call Me Lord and not do what I say?" if i needed Him to cover my past sins by His blood, how can I suddenly obey Him perfectly?

if doing what He says means obeying Him perfectly, who can do that? who can truly call Him Lord?

i thank anyone who can venture to give me some true biblical guidance in this matter.
thanks,
jenny

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The fact that you care about your condition points to a regenerated heart. People who are not born again may feel bad about their sin, but they find ways to justify it and then their conscious learns how to rationalize their sin.

 

That doesn't seem to be your case.

thanks for your reply David

thank you Char,
i was in the midst of temptation to despair when i wrote that and can definitely relate to what you shared. it reminds me of John Bunyan's spiritual battles he records in Grace Abounding to the Chief of SInners.
you said that over the past two years you have had many trials and suffering. can i ask, has your relationship with Jesus and faith grown in proportion to these trials? what do these trials mean to you, looking back on them?

last night the Lord gave me a great gift, to share the gospel with some dear friends. He kept me peaceful and loving and true to the Word in the midst of great opposition, passions and tension. my nature is not like that at all, so I know He was there helping me.

Sister Char,

 

WOW! ........ Excellent word......

Your walk with the Lord has become a determined stride, with a purpose wrapped in faith.

 

Your explanation that we will never be perfect in this life........but RIGHTEOUS in God's eyes, through His Son, Jesus the Christ, says it all.( Pay attention here, Jenny). Also, Jen, remember we talked about not expecting an overnight change in your life.....maybe some do.....I didn't.......dif'rent strokes for dif'rent folks.

 

The Holy Spirit will pace you.......don't try to pace Him........

 

Grace and Peace.

Thanks Richard,
I seem to go in cycles of lots of faith, looking only at Jesus, then looking at myself and doubting and being tempted to despair, then getting a good word like Char has shared in:

"The Bible says we are MADE righteous by the blood of Christ and by believing in Him and accepting Him as our savior. It says we are changed from glory-to-glory and not overnight. Satan loves to twist things on us and leave us feeling we'll never be perfect. And God's Word says that's right....we'll never be perfect this side of heaven, but we are made RIGHTEOUS by the blood of Christ and His blood covers our imperfections so that God doesn't even look at them. He sees us as perfect and righteous and holy through the blood of His Son."

i'll try to keep this always before me even when it seems to far from my immediate experience and just trust in God that its His battle and He has already won it for me.

thanks so much for your encouragement and reminders Char!

i'm thankful for the encouragement, faith, and love of the Lord and the Word here on AAG

I'm having a hard time.  Every day I go back and forth, sometimes a dozen times,
between confidently looking to Jesus' righteousness for my hope on the one hand,
and feeling like I must be lost due to my own daily sin and lack of evidence of
conversion on the other.  It has me wondering if I'm truly converted.


We need to properly understand God's intention regarding grace.  We need to be aware of and avoid the two extremes of thinking, both of which are unbiblical, and lead to the bondage of legalism for some and the false liberty of grace abuse for others.


As A.W. Tozer wrote, "You can never put a plus sign beside the cross."  Christ's atoning sacrifice on the cross is sufficient.  There's nothing we can do to earn, merit, maintain, or add to our salvation.  As Paul the apostle wrote in his oft-quoted epistle to the Ephesians, we are saved by grace through faith alone in Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:8 - see also, Acts 15:11; Romans 3:24; Romans 9:16).  As simple as that is, many insist that there has to be a catch--some fine print that requires them to work for their salvation through good deeds, rituals and observance of God's laws.  If that were so, then all of us are doomed to failure.  Not one among is righteous; capable of attaining the standards God expects of us.  That's why he sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins so that his righteousness can be imputed to us.  Even so, some believe God's grace isn't sufficient--that faith plus works is required.  Sadly, they have no assurance of salvation because they can never know if their works are enough.

God didn't intend for grace to give us a "license to sin."    He doesn't give us a pass to sin more so that grace might abound, as Paul says.  That's the misguided thinking of "grace abusers."  Gods grace is such a tremendous gift, paid for by the shed blood of Jesus, that we must be very careful not to abuse it or take it for granted.  God's grace frees us from sin, but doesn't us free us to sin.   "God never intended grace to be a license for sin but rather the means whereby we overcome sin," writes David Ravenhill.  When we receive God's saving grace, it changes us.  This is the process of sanctification, of turning away from sin and becoming like Christ, which continues until we die.  If people don't change and don't agonize about their battle with the flesh, then they haven't received God's grace even though they may have a said faith.

David stated it well and it bears repeating. 
The fact that you care about your condition points to a regenerated heart. People who are not born again may feel bad about their sin, but they find ways to justify it and then their conscious learns how to rationalize their sin.

Thankyou Colby,
Such good things to keep in mind there.
"God's grace frees us from sin, but doesn't us free us to sin."
Thanks for that, God's grace is powerful enough to free us from sin. I need to be patient and trust Him.

Jenny,

You have a knack  for bringing out excellent posts from the family of God here at AAG.

Colby"s recent contribution is right on!.

 

O.K., here's some more thoughts to consider:

The general outline  a new Christian wants to pursue, is to show Christ in one's everyday life........and it is. But, it should be a  natural  phenomenon.....not "put on", or staged. Consider Jesus' discussion in John 15 regarding Him being the Vine..... and His followers the branches. How about verse 4......"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me."(N.A.S.B.).

 

Notice the word "abide" three times. Greek meaning - To continue, to stay in a given place, state, or relation, or expectancy. In other words .....the branch cannot do anything without the nurturing, energy, and direction from the branch.

 

Then, also a part of the sanctification period (remember this period?) is making room for the in-coming, indwelling Holy Spirit. Suggested reading is Galatians, Chapter 5. This is the personal inward, unseen warfare going on inside a new believer. We all have old baggage that has to be dumped to make room for our new resident. And, remember....this might take some time. Plus a new believer might be going through some testing , too.

Isn't all this exciting?

 

A person might want to ask God for some help. Like - Janes 1:5, " But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him."(N.A.S.B.).

 

Grace and Peace, Jenny. 

 

 

yes, thanks, i need to remember that:)

Hi Richard,
I have been so blessed by your responses and many others here.
You're right, this life with Christ is very exciting. What an experience to be dying at the same time as you're also coming alive.
Our God is truly merciful and I want to know Him more and more.
I pray God blesses you,
Jenny

Jenny, Jenny, Jenny,

 

How profound your statement......"What an experience to be dying  at the same time as  you're also coming alive".

 

That's heavy.........that's like from  some famous Chrisian author who's written a gazillion powerful books that are regularly quoted.

 

You're doing just fine young lady, in your walk with the Lord.

 

Grace and Peace.

thank you

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